His hands tighten. “No more working for it. It’s done. You’re here now, and I’m tired of the bitterness and the hate and the resentment. That very first time, we did it, we made love. I would have sworn I had before, but nothing came close to what you made me feel. It wasn’t pleasure, it was finally being warm by a thousand suns after being cold and dark for years. That night, you gave me peace. You took the voices away from all the dead that haunt me. All I heard was you, all I felt was you.”
He shakes his head, closing his eyes. He opens them again and what I see catches my heart tight, and squeezes until I’m gasping for air. “Then you took it all away when you left. You took a piece of my soul with you. I knew you loved me when you walked away. Love was supposed to keep you with me. Ever since you came back, a part of me is terrified you’ll do it again and there is not a single doubt in my mind if you did leave me that I won’t be able to get through it again.”
I can’t see him through my tears, “I will never leave you. Until I breathe my last breath, all I am belongs to you. I left my heart with you. I came back to become whole again. The one good thing about being weak is I’ll never have the strength to leave you again.”
“You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for, my love. There aren’t many people who can put up with me and love me the way you do. Thank you for coming back.” The press of his lips is almost gentle against mine.
“I didn’t have a choice. I finally figured out it’s not just me who belongs to you. You belong to me too, and I have to take care of you the same way you care for me.”
His smile sends my tummy into a dozen summersaults. “I’m glad you finally figured that out. I was too afraid to tell you for fear you’d use it against me.” Leaning his head against mine. “If you want to work part-time, I’ll support you. I want you to be happy. Not just here at home with the kids and me.”
“I love you so much,” I whisper, as I begin to undo his shirt. “I’m pregnant. I don’t need a test to know. And I think waiting until the kids are teenagers and don’t want anything to do with us is the right time to go back to work. Or maybe I won’t, and just help you and Charlie in the bookstore.”
He leans down and kisses my stomach. “I knew you were. Whatever you want, piccolina. Anything you want, it’s yours.”
“Just you, Tony. All I want is you. Now make love to me, please.”
20
Christy
Tony looks up from the pregnancy test. His blue eyes are churning with emotion as he pulls me to him. “Thank you,” he whispers against my cheek as his hand goes over my stomach. “I can’t wait to be here for everything.”
Nodding, I kiss his cheek. “I was packing. I had clothes in my hand, and my suitcases were out. Until I thought of what might happen if I lost the baby. All I could think was how badly it would hurt you and me. You would ask me to try again with the proof we could get pregnant, but I wasn’t sure I could go through it again not even for you.”
His hold is tight. “To go through it all alone. You are braver than you think you are.” A hand traces down my cheek. “I’m in awe you came back on your own. Knowing what you would come back to, you did it anyway.”
“I would do anything for you.” I run my hand down his chest, all mine.
“What’s the light I see in your eyes about?”
I can’t hold my smile any longer. “You haven’t been with anyone else since I first left.”
He stiffens, then smiles. “Luca and his big mouth.” I nod. “I couldn’t. I tried, god, did I try. I knew you weren’t coming back. I would have to find you and drag you back kicking and screaming. And fuck I was so angry. You loved me. How could you do it?”
A sigh from the bottom of his lungs escapes him. His eyes darken. “After four nights of no sleep, I wound up at Lisa’s as my last hope. She told me what I already knew. She didn’t know where you were. If I hadn’t picked up your trail, I wasn’t going to. Punch drunk on a lack of sleep, I took what she offered. I stayed drunk, and the women kept coming. I hated every one of them, and you, and in the end me.”
Leaning against him, I hug him tight. “After I sobered, up every time I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d given in and had two different people looking for you; neither one could find you. I told myself to give up. Only I couldn’t. It didn’t matter how far away you were or how long you were gone. I belonged to you because you belonged to me, and no other woman could ever make me feel what you do. So I finally gave in and called a man that could supposedly find anyone. It took him a while, but he did find you.”
“I’m glad you didn’t give up. I’m sorry for being jealous. I don’t have the right to be. I never doubted your loyalty. I don’t now.”
“Hm, we’ll forget about Lillian for this conversation.”
I blush, “Watching her touching you—”
His kiss ends all thought of Lillian and all the other things that
