‘He’s been so distant these past few weeks. But I knew that it was all going to be okay because you two were getting back together.’
I frowned and looked to Charlie and Ned who were just as puzzled as I was. ‘Did he tell you that?’ I asked.
She nodded. ‘He said how you two were reconciling and that you just had to end things with someone else before you could get back together, so that you didn’t hurt anyone. He was so excited, looking for flats and boxing up his things.’ She reached over and placed her hand on mine, a warm smile on her face. ‘And after everything he’d been through this year, it made me so happy to know that at least everything was right with the two of you.’
‘Rachel, we’re not getting back together. We never have been. He knew that,’ I said, suddenly a lot more worried. ‘The boxes were him bringing my stuff back to me.’
‘Oh. That’s not what he told me,’ she said wringing her fingers. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m sure. What did you mean when you said with everything that had happened this year?’
‘With him having to shut his business down and that company that caused all that trouble, threatening that lawsuit because of those details that got out. It’s all to do with that GPDR stuff.’
‘What, a lawsuit?’ I asked, realising that I had only been seeing the tip of the proverbial iceberg with Joel.
‘Oh yes, it’s been awful. But, dear, I thought you knew.’
It was three before Rachel left. She said she was going to go out and have a look round for him. I promised her I’d do the same and call her if I found him.
‘This is nothing to do with you,’ Ned said in the hallway as I closed the door. ‘With the things he did and said, throwing that ring at you.’ He tutted.
‘He threw something at you?’ Charlie asked, becoming imbued with a sense of masculine protectiveness.
I ignored them both and grabbed my coat and Mum followed me out the front door. We looked for a good while before returning home with nothing to show for it.
We were all sitting in the kitchen, nervous energy forcing us to open a bottle of wine as Charlie’s lasagne browned beneath the grill, when my phone rang. It was Rachel.
I picked up and held the phone to my ear. ‘Hey, Rachel, did he show up?’
‘Nell,’ she sobbed.
‘What is it?’ I asked, standing and putting everyone in the room on high alert.
‘I just got in.’
‘You only just got in? Rachel, it’s almost seven o’clock.’
‘I know, but I couldn’t just go home and wait for him,’ she cried.
‘And there was no sign of him?’
‘I just went into his room to check it over again and I found a letter on his bed. He must have come home while I was out.’ Her voice was broken, distraught.
‘What did the letter say?’ At this, Charlie stood too.
‘I’ve already called the police, Nell. They’re sending a car out to look for him.’
‘What did the note say?’ I probed.
I heard the sound of crinkling paper and then she began to read. ‘Mum, I’m sorry for leaving you. I don’t think that anyone other than you will miss me much. Everything I’ve done with my life so far has failed and I know that I am a financial and emotional burden on you. I thought I saw a way out of it, but I was wrong.
‘Please tell Nell that I am sorry and that I love her. Always have, always will.
‘I love you Mum. I’ll say hi to Dad for you.
‘Joel.’
‘Oh my God.’ I held my hand to my eyes. This was because of what I’d said last night, wasn’t it? I put the idea in his head when I was talking about Charlie.
‘Nell, I can’t lose my boy too.’
It was me who put the idea in his head.
‘Rachel, I think I might know where he is. I’ll call you when I’m there.’ I hung up the phone and without a word to the others I made for the door.
They called after me but I ignored them, not bothering to put on a coat and just running outside, Charlie on my heels.
‘Nell, where is he?’ he asked.
‘The clock tower,’ I said, breathlessly. ‘He’s at the clock tower.’
Neither of us spoke a word; we just put our heads down and ran. The air was freezing but my skin was hot with anxiety. Charlie was faster than me and so he ploughed on, travelling further ahead but never leaving me too far behind.
When we got there, the window to the fire escape was smashed, a large rock lying beside it.
I dialled Rachel’s number as we both took the stairs two at a time. She answered almost immediately.
‘Rachel, I think I’ve found him. Call the police and tell them he’s at the town hall. He’s on top of the clock tower.’ I hung up and grabbed the handrail, pulling myself up faster. Charlie got to the top before me and ran out onto the tower before I even made it to the top step. I heard Charlie’s muffled words and I knew that we’d found him. I came to a standstill as I walked through the door. The image of Joel standing on the ledge made my stomach turn.
‘I should have known. Wherever she goes, you go too,’ Joel said, his eyes red and his mouth pinched in a snarl as he looked over his shoulder at me.
‘Joel, please, don’t do this,’ I begged.
‘As if you’d care.’ His face crumpled and he let out a sob. ‘You don’t love me anymore; you said so yourself.’
‘Of course I care, Joel.’
‘Hey,’ Charlie said, stepping forward, his hands outstretched to let Joel know that he wasn’t going to come too near. ‘I know that I’m probably the last person yer want t’see right now, but I’m probably the only person who knows exactly what yer goin’ through here.
