The night before Charlie was set to leave, we had dinner with Ned and Carrick.
I remained pretty quiet during dinner, which went mostly unnoticed because Carrick filled the quiet with his insatiable need to say whatever came into his head. Magnus dozed on top of the fridge, his long tail trailing down over the front of the door and having to be held up like a bead curtain every time someone needed to get something from inside it.
Ned was about as in love with Magnus as I’d ever seen him with anything, with the exception of my mother. I still shuddered with vomit-inducing recollection every time he casually mentioned her name in conversation. I knew that she’d mentioned finding a non-travelling position within the company so that she could stay home, but I doubted that anything would come of it and Ned would soon learn that Cassandra Coleman was not a woman to pin your hopes and heart on. I assumed that the Ben and Jerry’s would be in full flow when that moment came around.
When everyone had finished their meals, Charlie disappeared into the hall, returning with a bottle of whisky and taking four glasses from the cupboard.
‘So,’ he said, retaking his seat beside me and pulling the cork from the bottle, ‘before I go, I just wanted to say a few things.’
‘Ah feck, yer not gonna give us a speech are yer?’ Carrick teased.
‘Will yer shut yer mouth for one bloody minute and let someone else have a chance? Jesus, man.’ Charlie chided through a smile. He poured some of the amber liquid into each of the glasses and passed one to each of us. ‘I am sittin’ here right now, digestin’ another one of Ned’s culinary triumphs and about to sample this fine whisky because of each and every one of yer.’ He looked around at the three of us. ‘I don’t think many people who sit at the dinner table can say that every one of the people around it has saved their life. But I can and what that proves to me is that I’ve got some pretty feckin’ awesome people in my life. I just wanted to let yer all know that I’m gonna miss yer and that this isn’t goodbye.’
He turned to me and smiled.
‘Sláinte.’ Carrick led the cheers and we all followed.
As I swigged down the burning liquid, I felt a warm tear roll down the side of my face and I wiped it away before anyone could see.
I stood in front of the mirror and washed the make-up from my face. I wasn’t tired, quite the opposite. My body was charged with anxiety about tomorrow morning, but sitting downstairs with them all, waiting for the time to come when Charlie would walk out of my life, possibly forever, made me want to do nothing but curl up in bed. I left the bathroom and found Carrick on the landing, leaning against the wall with his thumbs in his pockets, like James Dean.
‘Hey, I didn’t know you were waiting. Sorry,’ I said.
‘I was waitin’ to talk to yer.’ He pushed off from the wall and placed his hands on my shoulders. ‘I just wanted to tell yer that there’s no need to worry about him when he’s over there. He’ll be stayin’ with me and I’ll be lookin’ out for him every step of the way. I let him down once already, at the memorial, but I’ll do better.’
‘I know you will,’ I said, drawing him into a hug.
‘I know it was your idea for him to come home.’ He sighed into the hug and pulled me a little closer. ‘You’re a selfless lass, I’ll give yer that.’
‘Not really,’ I replied into his greying hair. ‘This is for both of us. Just don’t let him forget about me,’ I whispered, my voice breaking.
‘As if he ever could.’
I don’t know how long I’d been asleep when I felt something on my cheek. At first, I thought it was one of those fabled spiders that sneak into your mouth while you sleep, but as the panic of that thought brought me round to consciousness, I realised that it wasn’t long spindly legs, but soft fingers.
‘Hey,’ I said, opening my eyes to see Charlie’s handsome face illuminated by the warm light of the bedside lamp.
‘I’m gonna miss yer, so much,’ he whispered, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my skin.
I reached up to where his fingers lay on my face and took them in my hand. ‘I’m going to miss you too,’ I replied dreamily, the weight of sleep pressing down on me, my eyes straining to keep open.
‘Whatever happens I want yer to know that you’ve changed my life, Nell Coleman. Hell, there wouldn’t even have been a life to change if it wasn’t for you and Ned. Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome,’ I said, with a sad smile.
His hand pulled free of mine and moved up over my cheekbone, his fingers feeling their way through my hair until his hand came to rest, holding the nape of my neck. His face fell out of focus as he moved closer, his top lip grazing mine and sending a shockwave through me. I raised my hand and rested it on the crown of his head, his hair soft and tousled beneath my fingers, and I gave him the one last push he needed. His lips fell to mine and lingered there for a moment before he pulled away.
‘I’d better be going,’ he whispered.
‘Okay. I’ll see you in the morning then,’ I said, tears burgeoning in my eyes.
‘Ten sharp.’ He nodded with a smile and moved to the door. ‘Bye, Nell.’
‘Bye, Charlie.’
I rolled over in bed and looked at the screen of my phone. It took me a second or two for the time to register in my brain: 9.45 a.m.
My
