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Let your Quarry feel he or she earned your interest or attentions through her brilliance, his fascinating personality, her talents, his wonderful uniqueness.
Then she'll value your company all the more.
Because she got it the old-fashioned way. . .
sheearnedit. Let your new acquaintance pass the auditionbefore you offer him the role of the romantic lead for the evening.
Gentlemen, there is another reason you should not ask her out immediately. Before she invests an evening of her valuable time in you, she wants to know she's going to enjoy it. A woman needs more input. She needs to find out more about you. She's basing her "go/no go" decision not only on your looks but also on your personality, your intelligence, your wit, your
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everything. Talk more. Reveal yourself. Give her more information so she can make an educated judgment about you before she must say yes or no.
TECHNIQUE #15
HUNTERS):
LET YOUR QUARRY PASS THE AUDITION
FIRST
Hunters, don't ask a woman out too soon, lest she think you're only interested in her looks. A woman values your
interest all the more if she feels you appreciate her other qualities.
Huntresses, you can move a bit faster. Men are less accustomed to being treated as sex objects. In fact, some might enjoy it!
"Playing Hard to Get—Should I, or Shouldn't I?"
How many times have you sat by the phone offering your firstborn to the monastery if onhleywould call?
Onetime offer, God. Act now. Please.
Then the phone rings. "Hello?"
It's him! It's him! God is good. "Would you like to go out with me Saturday evening?" he asks in dulcet tones.
You suppress a double back-flip. "Would I like to go out with you? Yeeeeeeees, I wouldloveto go out with you!" But you decide against that wording. You resolve to be cool because you think
perhaps you should play hard to get. You hem and haw a few second s as though you're considering his suggestion, and then you say coolly, "Why, all right."
Did you handle him right? Does playing hard to get pay off? The answer may surprise you.
Let's go to the studies. Four highly respected social scientists, pioneers in the study of love, were firmly convinced, as
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were their colleagues and the general public, that men like a hard-to-get woman better. After all, everybody values that which they have to work for, right?
However, not to leave any stone unturned, they conducted an in-depth study called "Playing Hard to Get: Understanding an Elusive Phenomenon."25
Researchers polled a group of college men on whether they preferred a hard-to-get woman, and why. The responses were predictable: "Well, sure, if she's hard to get, it must mean she's more sought after.
Yes, if a girl is popular, she can afford to be choosy.
Well, my friends will envy me: there's a lot more prestige in going out with a hard-to-get dame."
At this point, the researchers felt going through with a field experiment would be practically worthless. It was a foregone conclusion that hard to get meant better. But, being responsible
scientists, they put this theory to the test. They hired a group of young men and women who had signed up for a computer-dating program. The men were to call the women and ask them for a date. The researchers told the women that half the time, they should pause and think for three seconds before accepting the date, thus playing hard to get. The other half of the time, they should accept the date immediately, with enthusiasm, thus being easy to get.
Afterward, researchers asked the men how they felt about the women. The results astounded them. In spite of what the men had said in the hypothetical situation, in reality they did not like the hard-to-get women any better. So much for that theory.
The researchers tested and retested the hypothesis in five ways, and all five methods failed to change the result. Just as science destroyed the prevailing theories that the world is flat and that heavier stones fall faster than smaller ones, science has destroyed yet another myth: Playing hard to get with the man does not make him want you more. At least, not at first.
But there was a wrinkle, as further experimentation showed. In another part of the study, men had the opportunity to choose from among five women for a date, thinking that other men were competing for her company. That worked. When the
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woman was hard to get for his rivals, but easy to get for him, he liked her more—laotmore.
TECHNIQUE #16:
I'M HARD TO GET (BUT, FOR YOU, BABY . . .) Considering playing hard to get? Don't . . . with him.
When he asks you for a date, respond immediately and energetically, "Oh, I'd love to!" But then, later, subtly drop hints that you're hard to get for other men.
Bevery subtle.
The Scientifically Proved Best First Date Many a Hunter, having beguiled his new Quarry into a first date, now wonders, "Where should I take her?"
Many a Huntress, when asked where she would like to go, simply says, "Let's go out to dinner." This has always been my choice. Over dinner you can get to know your Potential Love Partner, and it gives him the opportunity to explore all the wondrous facets of your scintillating personality.
But if your goal is to get your Quarry to fall in love with you (as the fact you're reading this book attests), dinner isnotthe best choice. There is compelling evidence showing your Quarry will be more attracted to you if you place him or her in an emotionally stirring or vulnerable situation.
There is a strong link between emotional arousal and sexual attraction, as researchers prove2d6. They took female research assistants and male subjects to a scenic spot to conduct an experiment.
The locale was a popular tourist attraction where the subjects could peek way down into a frighteningly deep cavernous gorge. Only two bridges crossed the gorge. One was the choice of tourists, a safe and solid bridge. And there was
