“What did Russ say?”
Cynthia dropped to the couch and held thecool rag to her face as a new wave of nausea clutched her stomach.“He doesn’t know - and I’m not going to tell him.”
Mary gaped at her. “Why not?”
“Because he doesn’t want to get married andI’m not going to force him into it by making him feel guilty.”
Mary shook her head. “Then what are you goingto do?”
Cynthia removed the rag from her face andstared at her friend. “Move out. Do you think I can get a job atthe diner again?”
Mary nodded. “Sure. Chet never did hireanyone else. He’s still short-handed. You can move in with me. Butdon’t you think you should tell Russ? After all, he has a right toknow.”
“I know I’ll have to tell him eventually, butI’d rather wait until I get a job and an apartment. I’ll just writehim a note and...”
“A note? For crying out loud, Cindy,he’ll be devastated,” Mary interrupted. If you’d just tell himabout the baby...I can’t believe Russ would shirk theresponsibility of his own child. He...”
“He doesn’t want children and I’m not aboutto manipulate him with guilt. If he’s honestly interested in me, hecan come courting the proper way. Otherwise, it’s just as well wenever see each other again.”
“I see. So when do you plan to leave?”
Cynthia clamped the rag to her face again.“As soon as I can get packed. At this rate it may take a week.”
“Do you want me to help?”
Cynthia lowered the rag again. “I could usethe help.”
Between the two of them, they managed to gether things into Mary’s truck. Before she left, she took a piece ofnote paper and wrote a short note:
Mr. Cade:
I’m sorry to leave you like this withoutproper notice, but I simply couldn’t stay any longer. I hope youfind someone to take my place soon.
Cynthia.
It was the cowards’ way out, but right nowshe wasn’t up to confronting him. It was going to be hard enough towork at the diner, but it was something she was going to have todo. There were more important things to think about at the moment -like how she was going to support a baby on her meager wages. Themoney she had saved would have to go toward doctor bills now. Allher dreams had been dashed - all but one. She had always wantedchildren - although this wasn’t the way she had intended tostart.
Inside of a week she started work at thediner. Every morning she crawled out of bed and retched for a whilebefore getting ready for work. A doctor appointment confirmed whatshe already knew, and that everything was normal - as normal as itcould be under the circumstances.
Cade never came to visit - a fact that senther into a down spiraling depression. For the first three weeks shebecame tense as it approached 8:00 pm each Friday. After the fourthweek she knew he wouldn’t be back. She would have to accept thefact that she was on her own with the baby. It was hard enough tomake ends meet before she took the job at the ranch. How was shegoing to feed a baby? She couldn’t stay with Mary forever. She wasfaced with three basic choices: Abortion; raise the child herself;or give the baby up for adoption. Abortion was out of the questionas far as she was concerned, and nothing Cade might say wouldchange her mind. That left a choice between raising the child onher own or adopting it out. Much as she wanted the baby, she feltadoption was the best choice. What kind of future could she offer achild? She wanted the best for it - better than what she had. Andthat left only adoption.
In a state of deep depression, she stopped bythe social services office on the way home and picked up someliterature and a form. Mary was still out, so she sat down and readthe pamphlet. Until now she had been thinking of no one butherself. It was time to grow up and consider the needs of the baby.She placed the form in front of her on the counter and beganfilling it out. They would have to get Cade’s consent, but he wouldprobably be glad to give it. Tears flowed freely as she filled outeach blank space. How could she give up the baby? It was a part ofCade. How could anyone love the baby the way she could?
She stopped writing. She was thinking as ifshe alone were responsible. Cade should accept the responsibilityof his actions as well. The baby was half his and he should besharing equally in its financial needs.
She folded the form and stuck it under thecookie jar. This weekend she would drive out and talk to him. Hewas a reasonable man and she had never known him to shirk hisresponsibilities. Still, it disgusted her to think of telling him.She straightened her shoulders. It had to be done sooner or later.She might as well pick the time and the place.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
As the weekend drew nearer, the tension grew.What would Cade say? Would he be angry? Would he insist she have anabortion? Could he?
She wiped a table and turned to take thedishes to the kitchen. A tall lean figure entered the diner and shefroze – Cade. Why was he here?
He paused only long enough to locate her, andthen made a straight line for her. Her heart was pounding as hestopped in front of her.
“I want to talk to you.” His tone wasbrusque.
She moved around him with the tray. “Allright, I get off at nine.”
He stepped in front of her and took the tray.“No, now.”
“All right, I’ll ask for a break.” Did heknow?
He slammed the tray on the counter and Chetglanced up sharply, eyeing Cade suspiciously.
“Do you need help, Cynthia?”
“No,” she answered quickly. “I just need ashort break.”
Cade shook his head and with a quick move,untied her apron strings. He lifted the apron over her head.
“We’re going somewhere else to talk.”
“But I can’t just...”
“Sure you can.” He wadded the apron into aball.
“Cade, I’m trying to do my
