She reached out and touched his cheek. “Whichmade three times you were broaching the subject of matrimony and Ithwarted your attempts. I must have been driving you crazy. I guessthat’s what you meant in the diner when you told me to hold thatthought.”
“Exactly.” His hand covered hers and he tookit in his, kissing it tenderly. “The worst of it was when I gotthat adoption form in the mail today. I called Mary to see if youwere there and she filled me in on the whole thing.” His expressionwas a fifty-fifty mixture of pain and anger. “How could you think Iwould turn away my own child? What kind of monster do you think Iam?”
“Oh, Russ,” she forced the words throughconstricted vocal cords. “I knew you would take the responsibility,even if you didn’t want the baby. That’s why I had so much troubletelling you.” She stared down at the seat. “I got so depressed whenyou never called, and I started imagining all sorts of things. ThenI started worrying about how I was going to take care of the babyand how much it would miss because I didn’t have the money to...”She swallowed a lump in her throat. “So I got to thinking aboutadoption. I knew I’d have to talk to you about it sooner or later,but I didn’t want to hold the financial burden of an unplannedpregnancy over your head like a club. Nor did I want you to feelobligated to marry me to save my honor. I couldn’t give the babyup, either. That’s why I never finished the form. I decided to talkto you this weekend, but I guess Mary found the form and took itupon herself to mail it to you.” She glanced up and met his intentgaze. “I’m sorry. That’s a terrible way to find out.”
“Don’t blame Mary. I’m glad she cared enoughto interfere. No telling how long we’d have continued this crazysidestepping dance - even if you had shown up this weekend. Ithought you decided you couldn’t live with the loneliness on theranch because I was gone so much. I thought maybe that was what youwere trying to tell me that day at the hay field.” He gripped herhand and pulled her close. “I didn’t want to lose you, but I didn’twant you to be unhappy like mother either. I actually consideredselling the ranch.” His hand stroked her hair. “If you’d only saidsomething - told me how you felt. Cindy, our baby wouldn’t be aburden to me even if my financial status was shaky - and it isn’t.I want this baby. I want you. I love you. Don’t you know that?”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “Not untilnow.”
He wiped the tear away with a thumb andopened the glove compartment. Pulling out a tissue he handed it toher. “Here, get yourself together and we’ll go in and get amarriage license.”
She caught her breath. “Right now?”
He popped the glove compartment shut andstared at her. “Do you have some reason you want to put it off fora while?”
She smiled through her tears. “No.” She wipedher eyes. “But tell me something. When you offered me a job, wereyou thinking of me in any way other than a housekeeper?”
He colored slightly. “I noticed you were agood looking woman, if that’s what you mean. But it was a good hotmeal that brought me into the diner the first time. It was the mealand a friendly waitress that brought me back. After that I got tothinking how nice it would be if I had someone to cook me a mealevery day. One thing led to another and I finally worked up thecourage to offer you the job.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure exactlywhen I started falling in love with you. I guess it happenedgradually. Little things like the way you took in that stupid cat.And the way you faced everything with a smile. Even the way youfelt about that attic. I knew, because I felt the same way. Andthen that day we rode together. I could tell you saw the ranch thesame way I did.” He frowned at her hand. “I never told anyone, butI avoided getting involved with any woman because of what happenedto Mom. The loneliness drove her mad. I should have moved away, butI couldn’t stand to leave the ranch.”
“But Russ, she could have moved away.You weren’t responsible for her state of mental health. Obviouslyshe was the dependent type or she wouldn’t have stayed outthere.”
He nodded. “I know. I wanted a wife andchildren, but I didn’t want to risk losing them because of theranch. I suppose if I had met a woman and loved her enough, I wouldhave given up the ranch, but I knew I would be resentful, so Isimply avoided any situation that might end up in romance.”
“So you hired a housekeeper with aprofessional attitude.” Her smile was wry. “It must have nearlyscared you to death when I started flirting with you.”
Color returned to his cheeks. “On thecontrary, I was flattered. Anyway, it seemed like innocentflirtation.” He stared absently out the window and continued. “Thenwe took that ride and you were so impressed with the country.That’s when it first crossed my mind that you might be the one.” Hetook a deep breath and turned to her again. “Then the day you fellon the ladder and I caught you - I figured you suspected then.” Hepaused and lifted a brow.
It was her turn to blush as she recalled thedream that episode had inspired. “Maybe I did, subconsciously. Ithink it was a turning point for me, too. I thought you were goingto...” Her face grew warmer.
He smiled. “Kiss you? I thought about it, butI was afraid you’d get mad. Anyway, I was doing my best not to letthings get out of control. You can’t believe how many cold showersI’ve taken.”
She bit her lower lip and looked down at herhands again. All this time she thought she was the only one withthe torrid thoughts.
He chuckled and ran cool fingers across herhot cheek. “By the time Claudette showed up, I knew for sure.
