given them every reason to not believe me.  Every reason to doubt what I was telling them was true because my actions spoke otherwise.  I thank God EVERY single day for the people in my life who did not give up on me, even when I gave up on myself.

I made a conscious decision when God delivered me from my personal hell, that I would look for the blessings in everything.  I would thank Him multiple times a day for picking me up and restoring me to what He intended.  Every morning, when I wake, I say, “Good morning God, or good morning Father.”  Every. Single. Morning.  I still do.  His healing me changed me.  He changed my relationship with Him in a way I cannot put into words and He isn’t done yet.

I moved up at Walmart quickly.  Started working in the money center and the service desk.  Was a backup Customer Service Manager and I loved it.

What I hated was the schedule.  Nights, weekends, holidays.  But I gave it to God.  I told him I would love a job that was Monday to Friday, 8am to 5pm, with holidays off.

Out of the blue, my friend, Chris called me and told me there was a job opening at OU Press where she worked and that she had already told her boss about me.  Now, Chris and I have known each other YEARS.  We worked together at the City of Norman years before, but we weren’t in contact daily, or even, weekly.  But we always stayed in touch through the years.

It was a PEAK job, which meant it was through OU’s in-house temporary service, but it was Monday to Friday 8am to 5pm.  And I loved working with Chris when we worked together at the City of Norman.

It paid a little less than Walmart and there was no insurance, and there was no guarantee that it would become permanent, but I felt like God was opening a door.  So, I prayed about it.  I still felt like God was leading me, and I took a leap of faith and applied for the job.  I got it.

My Walmart coworkers gave me an awesome going away party and I was truly sad to leave them.  Every time I go back in the store (to this day) they ask me when I’m coming back.  I can’t even begin to tell you how awesome that feels.

This job was wonderful, and it worked so well from day one.  Chris and I worked well together, and I loved our boss, Kathy.  God is so good.

And then, a year after I started working at the Press, we got RIF’d.  (Reduction in force).  OU was doing away with the distribution of the books and outsourcing it.  That meant Chris, Me, and the warehouse workers were going to be out of jobs soon.

OU had sent HR directors to deliver the news.  They assured us we would be given higher priority to at least be granted interviews for other open positions as OU.

I was shaken.  Maybe I had NOT been led here after all?

Chapter 27

Full Circle

I started applying for other jobs at the University and got an interview fairly quick with an academic unit on campus.  I was nervous.  I had never worked with faculty at OU in this capacity, I had been on the other side of things.

Working in HR and Administrative Offices doing budgeting/financial work.  But I had great references, mad skills, and a burning desire to prove to myself I was not only capable, but worthy.

The interview went well, and I felt positive when I left.  Not positive that I would get the job, but that regardless, I was honest, and that is what God wanted from me.

I remembered to thank God for the opportunity and continued working at the Press.  Our RIF date was about 6 weeks away.

On Friday, a little after 5pm, I was on my way home, and my phone rang.  I noticed it was an OU number, so I answered it (yes, I was driving, and I shouldn’t have, but I HAD to).  It was from the Chair of the department, from the interview earlier in the week.

He OFFERED me the job!!!!!!!

I bet I told him multiple times how happy I was to accept.  I could hear the laugh in his voice over my excitement.

I had come full circle by the grace of God alone.  And I was so thankful.

I still work in that department, with that Chair, and I have never felt more satisfied in a job.  There is NO doubt in my mind, that this was nothing of my own doing.  This was all God.  He had orchestrated it ALL for me to come full circle.

I’ve been with this job at OU for 3 years now.  I’ve been telecommuting since March of 2020 (thank you Covid but thank you God that I have a job that allows me to telecommute) and I still feel satisfaction, respect, friendship.

Things aren’t perfect in my life, but God never promises that.  He promises that He’ll walk with you, through things.

I’m a masterpiece in progress and if I can be here today, I can’t even begin to fathom where He will lead me from here.  I have now NOT drank longer than I drank actively and that’s AMAZING.  (going on 6 years in 2021!) I’m finding myself, slowly, but that is how God intended.

But....

Chapter 28

The Struggle is Real

I still struggle with things.

Like when I try to share something (which I just started doing in the last year or so) and someone tells me, “you’re only remembering the bad, try to remember why you loved him.”

And I thought, “You know, maybe they're right. Maybe I should try to think of things that way.” But the more I thought about that, the more I realized

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