“That’s great.” Taylor looked relieved but there was no positive inflection in her words.
I wanted to ask, don’t you care? I knew she did, it was just buried under all of the shit I’d spewed at her that day. I decided to lay it all out there. I didn’t know how long she’d sit out here in the cold. “What happened with Zach wasn’t your fault. What happened with Caleb wasn’t your fault.”
Finally, she looked up at me with feeling in her eyes—a combination of stubbornness, denial, and hope—her fingers twisted in her lap.
“You’re the single best person I’ve ever met. You have to know that.” I fell silent for a minute until I couldn’t resist any longer. I had to touch her. I reached out my hand, worried she’d snatch hers away, but she allowed me to rest my hand over hers. “I’m so sorry, Taylor.”
She smiled dismissively. “It’s okay. You didn’t have to come all of this way to apologize. I told you that you were off the hook over the phone.”
“You did, but that’s not why I’m here. I’d take back every single thing I said that night if I could. I wish I could explain to you how scared I was when Lizzie accused me of being a child predator or when I thought she’d told the social worker that. When I was accused in the past, things didn’t go well.” I had been guilty of theft when I went to prison, but it was the false accusations when I was younger that pushed me toward making bad decisions. I could see that now. “I was so scared that I could go to prison for something like that—something I’d never do. I was sick, panicked, angry. I never should have directed those feelings at you.”
Her eyes filled with understanding. “I’m so sorry, Gabe. I hadn’t thought of it from your perspective. I couldn’t get past what you’d said about me—what you’d accused me of doing.”
“I’m not here to make you feel bad. I wanted to explain to you why I didn’t stop and think first. If I had, I would have known you’d never go to family services when I asked you not to.” I didn’t want to make excuses for myself though. “I was wrong and I’m probably going to screw up again. I’m far from perfect.”
A small smile tugged at her lips and I hoped that was a good sign.
“I don’t want to be apart from you. When things happen with you—your family, I want to be here.” When she was quiet, I said, “I’m going to stay at a hotel, but if you’d like to see me, just—”
“You’re leaving?”
Was she upset? Had I misread the situation? I wanted to be there for her but at the same time, I didn’t want to push her. “I don’t know what to do. I want to be here for you but I’m not sure what you want. I came here uninvited.”
She was silent for a few seconds and I was afraid to breathe—afraid this would be our last moment together. Then she stood and held her hand out to me. “Do you want to come in and meet my family?”
Relief poured through me at her question. “I’d love to.”
She still held my hand as she led me into her parents’ home. Her parents, who sat in the tiny living room by the foyer, lifted their heads when we returned. Mr. Leeds’s eyes went to our joined hands.
“Mom, Dad. This is Gabe. Gabe, these are my parents, Phyllis and Matthew Leeds.”
They both stood and I held out my hand to them. “Nice to meet you both. You have a lovely home.” I’d never said anything like that before, but I didn’t think I’d ever been in a home like this. Every spare space on the living room walls was covered in framed family photographs, a fireplace was the focal point of the room with a TV mounted over it, leather furniture sat against the walls, a large area rug covered what looked like the hardwood floors. It was warm and cozy.
I moved to the pictures on the wall, seeing one with a young girl and boy playing with blocks— Taylor and her brother, Caleb? “Is this—?” I turned to Taylor as she moved closer to me.
“Yes, that’s Caleb. He was only two then. It was before we knew anything was wrong. He was a normal two-year-old.” Her voice was sad, and I caught the look on her mother’s face. As much as they loved Caleb as he was they’d been heartbroken that he’d never be the child they thought he’d be—the man they hoped he’d become.
“He’s taking a nap now but you can meet him when he wakes up,” Mrs. Leeds said.
“I’d love that.”
Picture after picture of a smiling happy blond girl, her arms around her brother in every picture, told the family story. Taylor had been the best big sister Caleb could have hoped for. He was loved and cherished. He hadn’t been perfect, and his family loved him anyway. He wasn’t who they’d hoped for in a son, or a brother, but they loved him anyway. What must that feel like? To be loved despite your flaws. Is that what I had with Taylor and I’d thrown it back in her face?
“What do you do in New Orleans?” Mr. Leeds asked, pulling my attention away from the family photos.
“Nothing as important as Taylor.” And it wasn’t my imagination that her face flushed at my words. “I manage a bar. We’re meeting with a lawyer soon so that I can become an equal partner in the business.”
Taylor sucked in a breath. “That’s amazing, Gabe.”
Mrs. Leeds stood, her hand going to her chest. “I’m so sorry. Did you want something to drink? I made fresh-squeezed lemonade earlier. It’s Caleb’s favorite.”
“I’d love that,” I said with sincerity. I appreciated her
