Roman looks out the window for a moment, hands frozen on the steering wheel. Just when I think I’ve done something wrong by bringing it up, he says,
“I did. I do love you. It just ... terrifies me.”
“Why?”
“You know why, Lucy. When you love something, it becomes your weakness. I don’t want to lose you like everyone else. That’s why I didn’t want to care about you. But when that bastard called me and told me you were in danger, I didn’t think. I didn’t question going back. I knew that I had to save you. I knew that I loved you.”
I reach forward and place my hand on top of his. I rub my fingers over his knuckles, slow and soothing. “I love you too, Roman. More than I’ve loved anyone else.”
He gives me a smile, a rare sight, and turns the car around, leaving the warehouse behind.
We both fall silent as he drives, one hand on the steering wheel, the other in mine. I look back at the warehouse, watching it get smaller and smaller until it finally disappears, gone from my life for good.
Just like Konstantin.
I sit back in my seat and smile to myself.
It’s finally over.
Chapter Twenty
Roman
I drive Lucy back to grandmother’s house, and the drive is quiet. Neither of us talks, but neither of us needs to.
Hearing Lucy beg me to shoot Konstantin tore a hole in my heart. I could see me, years ago, so desperate to kill Andrei and Aleksandr that I would’ve done anything to make them suffer. I would’ve gone down with them if it meant they paid for what they did.
Staring at Lucy in the warehouse, I saw that same determination. I just couldn’t let her go down that road. I couldn’t let her die for my mistake. Konstantin was right. I should’ve put it all together. Stepping back, anyone could see that all the crimes were tied together. Every man I killed was connected to Abram Konstantin in one way or another.
But now the Bratva has taken a hit I don’t know if they’ll recover from.
Serves those fuckers right.
I glance at Lucy and watch as her eyes grow heavy. Her blinking slows and she begins to fall asleep. As she drifts off, her muscles relax, and I see the tension disappear.
I drive through the city streets slowly, looking at everything. It’s interesting how different the world looks when I’m not planning which escape route to take, mapping everything out, figuring out when the best time is to step from the shadows and stick someone with a syringe. It’s kind of beautiful, this shithole of a place.
For the first time in years, I’m free. Nobody’s blackmailing me any longer. That secret died with Konstantin. Now, I’m free to do as I please. It’s a strange feeling.
We make it back to the house thirty minutes later. I’m reluctant to wake Lucy, but I know that she’ll want to talk to the old woman. They probably have plenty to discuss. Her grandmother isn’t like any woman I’ve ever met before.
I thought she was some kindly old lady. She could barely manage the recycling bin, and she loved to stay and talk because nobody else was around to talk to. But like her granddaughter, she surprised me.
If Konstantin had been able to get the shot off, I don’t think either of us would be sitting in this car now. She’s as big a hero as her granddaughter, and she has my respect in a way that not many others do.
Slowly, I open my car door. Immediately, Lucy sits up and rubs her eyes. “Are we home?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
She yawns loudly and opens her door, climbing out. When we get inside the house, her grandmother is in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove. Lucy runs into the kitchen and gives her a hug.
“I thought you two got lost or something,” she chuckles, rubbing Lucy’s upper arm.
“Were we gone that long?”
“Just a little while,” she says. “I thought you two might be hungry, so I warmed up some leftover chili.”
“I’m starving,” I say.
She grabs two bowls from the cabinet and fills them. When I try to help, she shoos me away and tells me to sit down. Lucy giggles, and I smile with embarrassment. A few moments later, Lucy’s grandmother places two bowls of chili in front of us and sprinkles a handful of cheese on them.
“I’m going to head to bed now, darling. Come wake me up if you need something, okay?”
“Okay, Nana. Love you.”
“Love you too.” The two of us share a nod before she heads back to her bedroom and I start to dig in. This must be the best food I’ve had in years, because I can barely stop eating to talk.
“That woman is a great cook,” I say.
Lucy nods. “She cooked for me every night when I was younger. Didn’t matter what I wanted, or how long it took, she was going to make whatever I was in the mood for.”
The two of us eat quietly, occasionally making small talk. She mentions how she’s going to write a killer climax to her book after what happened tonight. She’s even thought of another book that she wants to work on soon. It’s strange, watching her disappear into the world of her own creation.
She talks about her characters like they’re real people. Like they can make their own decisions and lead the story in ways she has no control over. And I can see she’ll use those characters to help her work through the hell she went through tonight.
Finally, I speak. “I’m sorry for lying to you, Lucy.”
There aren’t many people I apologize to. I’ve lived my whole life doing whatever it took to survive. Lying. Stealing. Cheating. It didn’t matter, as long as it benefitted me in some way. But I’ve lied to Lucy more times than I should have, and it’s fucking me up inside.
“Why did you do it?” she
