“You told me you were scared of who you would become if you went through with this. You said you might become as bad as me. You might lose your humanity. That made me change my mind. I couldn’t let you go down that road. I know it would’ve felt good, killing Konstantin, especially after what he did to your folks, but ...”
I shrug. “I tied you up because I wanted to keep you away from him. I thought you were safe at the house. And I’m sorry. If I hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have been in danger.”
She smiles sadly. “I’ve been in danger my whole life, Roman. Konstantin’s been this bad dream in my life for so long that I started to get used to him. I felt comfort knowing that I could always hate him when life got too hard for me. I forgive you, though. For lying to me.”
Relief hits me hard. I can’t believe how much power this tiny woman holds over me. She leaves me on my knees more times than I’m comfortable saying, and yet she uses her power for good. She’s never manipulated me or tried to sway me with how much I care about her.
“Fuck, I love you,” I say.
Lucy laughs softly and reaches a hand across the table to hold mine. “I love you too.”
We finish eating, and after, I help her do the dishes. It’s like we’re back at the safe house again. She dries and I wash, a perfect team. When we’re done, I pull her into my arms. “This is a lot to talk about right now, but I think we should start preparing for the future. New names, identities, all that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We can’t stay here, Lucy,” I explain. “Konstantin’s men are bound to find out that we were the ones that killed him. If we stay here, we’ll always be in danger. We’ll always have a target on our backs. But if we disappear and start over, we’ll be harder to track down. Harder to find.”
This won’t be my first time becoming someone else. After killing Aleksander and Andrei, I moved, and decided to become who I am now. Learning English was difficult, but it came eventually. I grew more and more fluent, adopted the name Roman, and began working for Mr. X. Konstantin figured out who I was thanks to his ties to Russia, and that’s when he blackmailed me.
This time, I’ll be more careful. We’ll be more careful.
“Do we really have to?” she asks, chewing on her bottom lip. “I just don’t want to stress Nana out with money. Moving, becoming someone else ... I don’t want to put any more pressure on her when she’s been sick lately.”
“I’ll take care of everything,” I say. “I have more than enough money for us to live comfortably. Konstantin may have been a piece of shit, but he paid well. Money isn’t an issue.”
That seems to calm her down some. I know Lucy struggled before she met me. I know she worked at that diner because she needed to pay the bills and keep the lights on. She did what she had to do, same as me. But this is different. We have a way out now. We don’t have to work for anyone else. We can do what we want.
“We should call ourselves Bonnie and Clyde,” she teases.
“We are definitely not calling ourselves that,” I say. It’s hard to keep a straight face, and I end up smiling at the idea. I like the spirit behind those names, but we’ll need something much more unassuming. Something that makes it easy for us to blend in with the crowd.
“I just want to add,” Lucy says, running her fingers up and down my arm, “If you ever leave me tied to a bed and drive off again, I’m going to change my name to Lorena Bobbitt.”
“Ouch,” I say, stealing a kiss from her.
“I mean it, Roman. I’ve done my research. I know lots of different ways to kill a man. Don’t mess with me.”
“Okay, okay,” I say, pecking her lips again. “The next time I tie you up, it will be consensual. How does that sound?”
She makes a soft mm sound and kisses me back, her tongue passing my lips and brushing against my own. There are so many filthy things I could do to her right now, but I have to behave myself. We’re in her grandmother’s house. If we get too wild, she could come out at any moment and see us. After saving our lives, I doubt that’s the kind of thanks she wants to receive.
“We should go somewhere,” I say between kisses.
“Like where?”
“Somewhere private. I don’t want to disturb your grandmother.”
Lucy snickers softly. “When did you become such a gentleman?”
“It’s a recent development,” I reply.
Lucy nods and crosses the room to grab her jacket from the hook hanging by the back door. She pulls it over herself and pulls on her shoes. “Lead the way,” she says, gesturing to the front door.
In the car, I decide that I can probably take her to a hotel or something nearby. I have enough cash on me to pay for a month, so we’re not bothering her grandmother. I’d consider the safe house, but if Konstantin’s men know where that is, I’ll have to get rid of the property.
After driving around for a while, Lucy turns to me and says, “Actually, can we make a detour?”
“Sure. Where to?”
“Do you know where the Jefferson Cemetery is?”
“I do.”
When we arrive at the cemetery, Lucy looks hesitant, like she might change her mind and ask to go back to the hotel. I don’t blame her. This has to be hard. Visiting my parents’ and brothers’ grave for the last time before I left Russia was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I wanted to stay there. I wanted to die and be buried next to them. But I had to go. I had to move on
