I know that’s what Lucy’s parents would want for her too.
I lace my fingers through hers, offering some kind of reassurance. It seems to work. Lucy leads me through the rows and rows of headstones. Part of me wonders who all is here. What their stories are. Who remembers them.
For a long time, neither of us say a word. Then Lucy stops in front of her parents’ gravestones and runs her hand over them. I want to comfort her. I want to pull her into my arms and tell her how proud of her they’d be. But I know what this moment feels like. I know how personal it all is. She wants me here for moral support and nothing more.
Lucy brings her hand up to her face and wipes her eyes, and the sight breaks my heart. I’ve always understood her pain, but seeing it on display tonight is something different. It’s more than just the knowledge. It’s the sight of how bad this tragedy still is. How broken she is, even after all these years. What Konstantin did to her can never be undone. Even if he is dead, he’s left his mark on her forever.
After fifteen minutes, Lucy stands up. Her eyes are rimmed in red. She gives me a sad smile. I pull her into my arms, and she presses her cheek against my chest.
“I’ve got you,” I say softly. “I’m here.”
Lucy starts to cry again, but she looks up into my eyes. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For everything.”
“No. Thank you.”
She doesn’t know how much she’s changed me. She doesn’t understand that she’s pulled me away from the deep end. I may have helped her stop Konstantin, but she made me into someone else. Someone ready to give up this life. Someone that I don’t despise. I want to be better because of her.
Hand in hand, we start to walk back. Lucy looks over her shoulder once and smiles. When she looks at me, I smile as well. It’s hard not to fall in love with this woman all over again.
So why resist? This time, when I feel my heart leap, I don’t stop myself.
Once again, I fall hard for Lucy Walker.
Epilogue
Roman
I still haven’t gotten used to California weather. In New York, the rain and snow were common. It was familiar. The constant sunshine and warmth in San Jose feel foreign. It’s strange. I like it.
Lucy laces her fingers through mine as we walk. This has become a morning routine for us. She likes to just walk around with me. For so long after Konstantin, we lived in hiding. No one could find out who we were. No one could know the truth about us.
That’s why she suggested we come up with new identities. Roman and Lucy had to disappear, and two other people had to take their places. Chris doesn’t suit me, I don’t think, but Lucy says it’s a fine name. Unassuming. I have to agree with her there.
Daisy suits her, I think.
She’s bright like the flower, and it’s close enough to her actual name that she doesn’t completely ignore it whenever I call out for her when we’re in public.
These past few months have felt like a dream I don’t deserve living.
The move from New York to the other side of the country was easier than I thought it would be. Lucy told me she had Nana and everything else was expendable. She didn’t need anything from home. I made a few calls, withdrew a large amount of cash, and we disappeared. Just like that.
I don’t know if we’ll ever go back. I don’t know if I even want to. New York was good for business, but Lucy’s pressuring me to hang it up. She keeps reminding me of what I told her in the safe house. How I wanted to protect people instead of kill them. How I should focus on doing more of that.
I give her the answers she wants, but the truth is, I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to that. I can’t say for certain. I know about killing. I’ve spent my entire life doing it, even from a young age. I know more about that than anything else in my life. And there might always be that pull. It’s guaranteed money, and I’m good at it.
So far, I’ve kept my word to her. If I wanted, I’m sure I could make a few calls and find a client here in California. Only, I don’t really want to.
I like things how they are now.
Lucy drops her head on my shoulder, and I come back down to earth. I look at her, run my fingers down the two braids she wears on either side of her head. She’s tanned since we moved, and her freckles are even darker.
She’s the perfect distraction.
Without her, I’d spend every second preparing for Konstantin’s men to come. I know they’re out there. Most of them were busted when the police found evidence of his crimes, but I’m sure there are people on his payroll that managed to avoid getting caught. The roaches of organized crime. Maybe one day they’ll come for us. That’s why I have to stay ready.
But when Lucy squeezes my hand and makes me remember that I should be enjoying time with her, I drop my guard just a little.
“Have you heard back from any agents?” I ask.
“Nothing serious, yet. I did have one agent tell me I should revise some parts of the book and send it back to her when it’s complete.”
“Are her revisions good?”
Lucy shrugs. “They’re all right. I don’t think they’re necessary, but if I get a lot of agents saying that I need to work on that aspect, I’ll reconsider. It’s just getting so tiring. No one ever told me it would take this long. That writing the damn book was the easy part.”
I smile at her frustration and drape my arm around her
