“Fuck..fuck.” I murmured out and called out for Clean again. “Clean.” He didn’t turn. Fuck, I disconnected the damn mic.
Black spots began to float in my vision, I was going down and it was going to be bad. I used all the strength I had and screamed out for Clean. I used his given name for emphasis, hoping he would hear. Everyone was coasting so the roar of our bikes was at a low growl and not the usual roar.
By some fucking miracle, it seemed Clean and Ripper had slowed down. It felt like I was literally on my last breath.
“Barry!” I screamed as loud as possible and could feel all the tension in my core give. I was falling, I couldn’t even tell what side I was falling towards but I knew it was going to hurt. I hoped he fucking heard me.
“Oh shit!” Clean yelled.
I nearly laughed before my head bounced hard off the asphalt, the hard helmet barely protecting my skull. My leather coat seemed to burn into my skin and the blue sky turned red in my vision, the blood pooling on my face.
I could smell the burning rubber coming closer. My brothers were here.
Chapter 4
I opened my eyes and could see the sterile-looking ceiling.
I’m in the hospital. Well, thank fuck for that.
I tried to sit up but the pain in my back was excruciating. I wasn’t going to be a bitch about it though.
“What in the fuck are you trying to do to us Brother?” Alex’s voice said out from somewhere in front of me.
“Prez, that you man?” I croaked out. It felt like I hadn’t spoken in years instead of a night.
He walked over to my bed and stood over my head, “Well I promise you it ain’t the fucking Easter bunny.” He touched my shoulder and moved his hand slowly. Like I was a piece of porcelain.
“Fuck, it’s bad isn’t it?”
Alex looked down and away from me.
It was bad.
“Don’t bullshit me, tell me what it is. What’s going on? What happened?” I could take whatever he was going to tell me. Besides, I was alive so that was already a win.
“Ryder, you had a heart attack.”
What the fuck?
I laughed, that was ridiculous. “No, I didn’t, I had some cramps or some shit and passed out. I take care of myself, there is no way I had a fucking heart attack.
Prez didn’t laugh, he wasn’t joking.
“Well fuck, that sucks. So, the doctor said I had to change my diet and shit? No more meat? I’d rather him poke me in the eye with a fucking shitty stick.”
“That’s not all brother.” Alex took a deep breath and continued, “When you went down, you wiped out hard. You shattered your hip, broke both your legs, and you needed skin grafts on your back.”
“What the fuck! You’re fucking lying. That shit is impossible. I don’t even feel that bad for all that to have happened yesterday.”
Alex shook his head, a confused look on his face. “Ry, you have been out for over a month. You were in a coma. You’ve only been coming in and out of it for the past day or so.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me, I was fucked up. I must still be sleeping or some shit because there is no way that all that shit happened and I was unaware.
“Prez, don’t fuck around, this shit can’t be real.”
“I’m sorry brother, it is.”
I tried to move again, but nothing besides my upper body was doing what I wanted it to do. I couldn’t move.
“Prez, my legs, why can’t I move them?” I heard my voice breaking, I was getting emotional. For the first time in years, I was about to fucking cry. Logically I knew what he was about to tell me but I felt like I would die if he said it out loud.
“When you fell you caused severe nerve damage to your spinal cord, it didn’t break but it was compressed for a long time. They haven’t been able to run all the tests but they don’t think you will be able to walk again.”
“Fuck out of here!” I slammed my head back against the too soft pillow. There was no way that he was telling me I was fucking paralyzed right now. There was no way. “You god damn liar! Get the fuck away from me.”
“Ryder, you gotta calm down brother.”
“I don’t have to do shit! You’re fucking lying. Don’t tell me that shit, I’m going to be fucking fine. Get away from me with all that shit!” I picked up the only thing I could reach, the pillow and threw it with all the force I had at Prez. It did nothing to stem the rage and fear building inside of me.
“I’m so sorry.” Prez put his head down, defeated. This shit was real.
I sat up and swung with all the might I had, but all he had to do was take a step back and he was out of my reach. There were no feeling in my legs at all. I tried to wiggle my toes, clench my thighs, but nothing I did registered with my body. I screamed in panic as the realization that I would probably never be able to walk again settled in my mind. I beat on my head, I pulled at my hair and bit down on my tongue hard enough for my mouth to fill with blood.
“Ryder, stop the shit!” Prez stepped into my reach again and without thinking I swung with all my force and cracked him right in the face.
“Get the fuck away from me! Fuck you, fuck that god damn club, fuck all of it. Just let me fucking die. You should’ve left me on the side of the motherfucking road.” I broke down and wailed like a little boy who just lost his momma. My whole life had been
