I’m about to turn off the water and get out of the shower when I hear the door click open. Frozen in place, standing under the hot stream of water, I wait for whoever it is to hear the shower running and retreat.
They don’t.
Through the steamed-up shower screen, I see the figure of a man enter. Blinking rapidly to clear the steam, I’m about to tell whoever it is to get out, but then I see Mike’s face.
I scream, throwing myself back until I hit the cold tiled wall of the shower. Mike moves towards me, and I continue screaming in the hopes one of the boys will hear and come to help me. Thrusting my hands out in front, I ready myself to try and hold him off. I won’t let him hurt me again. I won’t let him succeed in what he failed at last time.
Deep voices are somewhere nearby. Someone is yelling. Mike stops, turning back to the door that is still open before turning back to look at me.
“No! Stay away from me!” I roar. My voice unrecognisable.
Mike retreats then, stumbling from the room before Marcus and Jared rush in.
I’m still screaming, terrified; my body tries to retreat, only it has nowhere else to go. Losing my balance, I slip to the floor of the shower as the screen door flies open and the water shuts off. A white towel is thrown over me, but I thrash my arms out, my fists connecting with someone.
“Lexi stop!” Jared’s voice finally registers, and I freeze, sobs shaking my body.
“J-j-jar?”
Jared’s face comes into view, and I can see the red mark just under his eye. Did I do that?
“It’s okay Lex. You’re safe. No one here will hurt you.” I can see the sincerity in his eyes like I always do, and I force myself to relax a little knowing that I’m safe.
“M-mike was h-here.”
Jared turns to look over his shoulder at Marcus.
“Mike’s not here, Lex.” Marcus steps forward.
Confusion creases my brow as I take in their faces.
“W-what?”
“Mike isn’t here. It’s just us. You’re safe.” Jared confirms what Marcus said.
“B-but he w-walked i-in.” I’m shaking now as I look between the two of them. Am I shaking because I’m cold or because I’m scared?
Jared reaches out and wipes the drops of water running down my forehead from my wet hair.
“Lex that was Garrett. He accidentally walked in, not realising you were in here. He had his earphones in, so he didn’t hear the shower running.”
I look down at my feet, peeking out from the white towel that covers the front of my naked body, “But I saw Mike’s face.” I whisper.
“Lex, I promise you that Mike isn’t here. I think maybe you have PTSD or something. Maybe you should see a doctor.” I take in Jared’s concerned face. He knows all about PTSD after being in the same car crash that killed his older brother when he was twelve. I remember going to his house every day after the funeral. He would try to get me and Marcus to leave because he didn’t want to come out and play. But we never left him. We stayed and just sat with him until eventually, he started smiling again. I know he had nightmares and was seeing a psychologist. No one should have to go through what he went through, especially not a twelve-year-old.
“Do you still see a doctor?” Jared’s brows shoot up in surprise at my question.
“Sometimes.” He shrugs, “It’s gotten easier to deal with over the years.”
I nod, hoping it’s true. I need this to get easier sooner rather than later because if it doesn’t, I’m pretty sure I’m destined to be locked away in a psych ward.
“It was really just Garrett?” I ask, needing to hear them confirm it one more time.
They both nod, “Yes, Lex. Just Garrett, who’s gonna get my fist in his face for scaring you like that.” Jared’s words are honest, but I don’t want that to happen.
“No Jar. It’s not Garrett’s fault. I bet he feels bad enough.” I watch as Jared and Marcus both nod, still squatting down in front of me in the shower door. God, I’m a fuckup. “I’ll uh, be out soon.”
Taking my hint, Jared and Marcus give me a sympathetic smile before leaving me in the bathroom.
I’m mortified. I don’t care that they saw me naked, but I do care that they saw me freak out like that. I’ve probably just sealed my fate with them. They will join Tasha and her minions soon enough. I need to get control of my freak-outs., but I just don’t know how. Maybe Jared is right. Maybe I do need to see a doctor.
Perhaps I should offer the boys the same courtesy I’m offering Ayden? I should stay out of their lives so I don’t drag them down with me. They don’t need someone like me cramping their style. They are only seventeen. They should be partying and hooking up with girls and running wild instead of babysitting a lost cause like me.
My heart pounds with anxiety as I take my time drying myself and getting dressed in the same clothes I had on yesterday. My hands shake through the whole process, and I can’t seem to get them to stop. One glance in the mirror shows me that the bruising is still visible on my face, although a little lighter than yesterday. Each day it gets lighter, and each day I wish it would just fuck off already. Every time I see it in the mirror, I think of Mike.
When I’m finally done, I wander through the mansion and eventually find the boys in the kitchen eating pancakes. I don’t know who cooked, but I love them for it, realising that for the first time in
