I needed Edward, but he had been away the last few days on a training course. I had tried calling him, but his number kept going straight to voicemail. Always seemed to be bloody unavailable lately when I needed him. He would say no signal or low battery when I questioned him. Malcolm was dead.
So, it was a week before the wedding. Most women would be working out every day, eating healthily, exfoliating and having face masks and having a cheeky couple of sunbeds to top up the tan but no, not me. I was at A& E again, this had been a regular place over the last few years surprised I didn’t have my own parking space. The pain I was in today was excruciating. But I think stress was a contributing factor. I needed something stronger than the normal prescribed painkillers I had been taking. It took the doctor 8 attempts to put a canula in my arm before he gave up and asked a phlebotomist which really, I wish he had done after the second time he failed as now my arms were bleeding and holey great for wedding pics if there would even be a wedding now. My veins were hiding apparently. Morphine was finally flushed through with an anti-sickness medication and after that the wedding was out of my mind all I can remember was my black fluffy cardigan flying through the air Edward said I was hilarious totally off my head.
Luckily, I was only in for one night as other than giving me a hysterectomy which they wouldn’t do as I was too young and hadn’t had any children. There was nothing they could do other than manage my pain which I could do at home now with the stronger stuff I had been given. I even said to Edward I would understand if he didn’t want to marry me now. I would totally understand if he did want to postpone the wedding as I wouldn’t want to marry me at this present time. But, of course, he was amazing and said I was being silly. He loved me and wanted to marry me regardless, in sickness and in health.
I had so much planned to do before we left. Not only bridal maintenance, I still had to sort out clothes to take, packing, meeting up with family, but it all had to be put on hold now. Would we even be able to still go? At that moment I could barely walk. How was I going to go to another country where lots of walking would be involved? I couldn’t expect Edward to push me around in a wheelchair, it wasn’t fair. A & E as usual was a waste of time. I had been referred back to the GP, but the problem was if they then referred me to a specialist department, this could take months.
But I did what they said, went back the following day. I was given some tablets to try to help with pain, so hopefully these would kick in, in time. I was starting to stress now as you can imagine. Probably the stress of finding out Malcolm or Daddy dearest had been murdered. Not only was it less than a week to go, I was literally bed bound, I couldn’t work I could barely get up to go to the toilet. Me and Edward spoke about whether we should cancel the wedding again. Of course, we didn’t want to, but it may be our only option. What sort of time would we have away if I was laid up in bed the whole time? Not only that, this would be no fun for Edward as he would have to do the exploring on his own. I know everyone has problems, but I just felt at that moment we were so unlucky. How could this happen one week before the wedding? I was already worried. Rest was the best thing to do for now. We decided to make a firm decision two days before we were due to leave and see how I felt then. It was going to be a long week.
It was now Monday. We were due to leave on Wednesday and I was finally feeling better. Not fully recovered, but I could walk at least and my pain was nowhere near as bad as it had been. All systems were go. All the stress I had been under was not going to ruin my wedding, a breakaway was definitely what I needed. Away from Malcolm, Spence and everything else I had been dealing with lately.
Now for bridal prep. A couple of weeks ago I thought the worst thing in the world was Edward’s wedding present not arriving and my eyelash lady being off sick so she had to cancel my appointment. These were tiny things that didn’t matter in comparison with what had happened. But now, whatever I could get done I would, so on the Tuesday I had booked to have nails, waxing and eyelashes done by someone else and my hair done, so other than packing I was pretty much ready to go. I had finally started to grow out my hair. When I imagined my wedding day, I would always have long flowing locks half up half down. After what happened with Malcolm when I was younger, I cut off my long hair into a bob and it had been that way ever since. I thought by cutting my hair I would be less girlie and attractive somehow.
Nine hours into a ten and a half
