Once inside the house, I sit on the couch with my little girl crawling into my lap. The boys are closing in when Emil finally speaks up.
“Have you talked to Mom? She didn’t come home last night,” he states quietly.
“Buddy, soon as we figure dinner out, I’ll take the time to tell you what’s going on,” I say.
“It’s still early in the day and almost Astrid’s nap time. Why don’t I get her down for a nap while you talk to the boys?” Charm suggests.
I give her a nod of gratitude. I might not know this woman, but I appreciate her help in this instance.
As Charm takes Astrid to her room, I move to sit on the coffee table in order to face my sons.
“Dad,” Oskar murmurs my name as he sees the hurt in my eyes.
“Alright, guys, there’s no easy way to say this but I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else. I needed to be here for you three and I’m gonna be here for you all from now on,” I rasp.
“What is it, Dad?” Emil asks.
“Your mom . . . she . . . she was in an accident last night and didn’t make it.” The words feel as if I’m being torn to shreds as they spill from my lips.
Tears fill both my boys’ eyes and they jump off the couch to come at me, wrapping their arms around the one parent they still have left.
Fuck.
This isn’t gonna be easy. Closing my eyes, I hold them against me and give them the moment they need. Tonight I’ll give them what they need for now. Come tomorrow, I’ll deal with all the rest of the bullshit and set up the funeral plans for my ex. My kids will need the closure, but I don’t want them seeing her in a casket.
Inwardly shaking my head, I let the pain take hold and grieve right along with my boys. I’ll have to tell my daughter and that won’t be any easier to do.
Chapter Three
Charm
I don’t know what he’s doing downstairs, but Astrid is up here half falling asleep as we’re watching old episodes of the Winx Club. It was my favorite cartoon as a kid, and honestly, it’s not shocking considering how I turned out as an adult.
Astrid loves Bloom so much, but I don’t blame her. She’s confident and knows her powers. She’s what every little girl looks up to, I think. I run my hand against her light brunette hair that falls just below her shoulders and let her doze off peacefully. It’s around her nap time anyway, and she really needs the rest. Little does she know when she wakes up, she’s going to end up having her entire world shaken.
Fern’s sitting in the bean bag on the other side of Astrid’s bedroom. She fell asleep there about an hour ago after being up for most of the night telling me her problems. She had some drama with her ex and it’s really bothering her. I told her she just needs to block him and let shit die, but Fern’s always one to make the rough choices in life. It’s almost like she wants to struggle, or punish herself. I don’t quite get it, but I don’t think I will.
“Do you think Mommy will be home soon? I miss her and I’m so sleepy,” Astrid groggily says.
Brushing my hand along her hair, I soothe her. “Don’t worry about that right now. Just worry about getting some sleep.” The moment I came over with Fern and we discovered the kids didn’t have any clue where their mom was, we both shared an awkward stare. How could they not know? It’s so odd to me. Why wouldn’t someone, anyone in their life, tell them what happened? Did they want to save us the pleasure of completely destroying them, or did they want to assign that task to their father?
Either way, it’s a horrible situation all around and I know things will only get worse. Things always get worse before they get better. The important thing here is open communication, and with any luck, the kids will mourn their mother’s loss and start healing. While I have a different view on death, I know the kids are so young they don’t understand it. I’ll be here for them with whatever they need, even if the first impression of their father makes me wonder how Amanda ever got with a man like that. Rude doesn’t even cut it, but I’m trying my best to put the needs of the children above his behavior.
Fenrir.
I roll my eyes at him telling me to call him that. Amanda only ever called him Soren, so quite frankly, he can go fuck himself with his bad boy biker vibe shit.
Fern stirs in the bean bag across from me and looks, motioning with her hands in a way that makes me think she’s asking if Astrid is asleep. I nod, and lift Astrid further up into my arms, move her Barbie blanket and tuck her in. I still let the cartoon play in the background as Fern and I make our way into the hallway.
“Everything okay? Sorry, didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that.”
“It’s okay. You had a rough night. Their dad came, his name’s Fenrir by the way.”
“Ooo, sounds sexy.”
I give her a callous stare.
“Or not, dang, what’d he do to you?”
“Acted like a jerk, but I’ll give him a pass this time. The mother of his kids just died.”
Fern nods in agreement. “Yeah. I can’t imagine how hard this is going to be on all of them.”
“I know. I think Astrid won’t really understand it, but Emil and Oskar will. They’re going to be the ones hurting the most. I’m trying to think about something we can do to at least keep Astrid busy so he can tend to the boys. I know they love me too, but I’m not their dad. They’d much rather
