Fern comes to the entrance into the hallway and stares at me with her mouth agape. “Take that insult back this instant.”
“It wasn’t an insult, Fern, just a statement.”
“I’m not predictable,” Fern comments.
Oh boy, here we go. “No, not in most people’s understanding of what’s predictable, but Fern, you’re a people pleaser. You’ll do whatever you can for those closest to you to make them happy, even if they happen to be toxic people. You’re a good soul, an old soul, one that wants to help heal and repair others . . . but not everyone is meant to be healed, and not every person is receptive to such a bright light in their life.”
Fern blinks at me as her bottom lip quivers. She’s reading between the lines and she’s seeing exactly what I’m saying to her. “He needs me to help him. Even you know it.”
“Yeah, and I agree with you, but he doesn’t want your help and you need to accept it. Brandon’s life is taking him down a different path and I’m afraid if you don’t . . . if—”
“If I don’t what, Charm!?” Fern hollers at me. She turns on her heel and rushes back into the kitchen, most likely pouring herself a glass of chardonnay and I see her with the bottle pressed against her lips, guzzling as much down as possible. She puts the bottle down and coughs over and over again, then looks at me. “I don’t know how you can stand this shit. It’s disgusting.” She continues coughing, and I give her a moment to calm down and catch her breath.
Taking a few steps toward her, I speak up, “I know you love him, but personal feelings aside, the man is struggling with things you can’t help him with, Fern. He doesn’t want your help and he’s determined to keep going down this road, and as your friend, I’m terrified he’s going to drag you down with him because you’re such a good person that you’d walk down to just keep him company, but in doing so it’ll destroy you too.” As much as she doesn’t want to hear it, she knows it’s true.
Fern puts her hands on the counter and grabs the gray and white granite until her knuckles turn white. She’s struggling so bad right now and it’s obvious. “I know he’ll take me down with him, but there’s so much history there. How am I supposed to let this happen?”
I’ve never been the type who loves breaking the ugly truths to people, but here I am. “Because it’s Brandon’s life and you deserve much better.”
As Fern sucks in her bottom lip and tears start to stream down her cheek, I know what she’s feeling. Like her, I’ve had relationships like this in my past. Ones that almost ruined me too. “I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
I break the distance between Fern and myself and wrap my arms around my friend, focusing on her problems and not the man next door. I’m trying so hard to keep myself distracted because my heart’s breaking along with the kids’.
Things just aren’t going to be the same anymore, not for anyone.
Chapter Six
Fenrir
In the past week things have been more than chaotic as I dealt with shit in regard to the funeral and helping my kids grieve. The police held off on releasing her body for us to cremate until they finished their investigation.
The results from the report didn’t make me happy, and though I want to gut the fucker who’d been intoxicated behind the wheel of a vehicle, I’ve put the kids first. They need me more right now. Soon enough I’ll release my anger about the whole situation.
Astrid hasn’t taken the news of losing her mom all that well. After the first night when Charm told her about her mom’s death and I had to soothe her, she’s started to sleep with me. Which is kinda uncomfortable considering I’m sleeping on the couch. I refuse to sleep in the bed I once shared with Amanda. I might not have slept in it much with her, but it was hers and it still smells like her. Shit, the only time I’ve been in that room is to shower and change. I know soon enough I’ll need to go through her stuff and get rid of what isn’t important. I’ll save the family heirlooms and whatnot for the kids, maybe even some of Amanda’s clothes for when Astrid gets bigger.
Before I do anything else, I need to talk to Runes. He knows I need to be here for my kids and he gets it. We’ve lived the Nomad lifestyle for years, maybe I can convince him to start a satellite charter for us all to come to when we’re not on the road. I don’t know how this is even going to work. I just don’t want to have to lose my brothers on top of losing Amanda.
I’m in the process of getting the kids ready to go to the cemetery when several bikes can be heard coming down the street. Emil and Oskar run over to the door to look outside.
“Dad,” Emil calls out from the door. “Uncle Runes and everyone are here.” His voice is filled with excitement when he opens the door and rushes out calling Rati’s name. Rati’s my cousin by blood.
“Hey, Emil, Oskar,” Rati says in greeting while I make my way to the door holding Astrid in my arms.
She wraps an arm around my neck while sticking her thumb in her mouth. I’d let her pick her own clothes out for the day as I did for the boys. Where Emil and Oskar decided to go with nice jeans and a button-down black shirt, Astrid went with a purple dress that even I had to admit makes my little girl look damn cute. I didn’t know what the fuck to do
