“Hey, VP,” Logi says in greeting, followed by several others as they make their way up to the house.
Runes is the last to get to me and he places his hand on Astrid’s back while giving her a smile. “Hey there, Princess Astrid, does Uncle Runes get a hug?”
Smiling around her thumb she lets me go and launches herself at Runes muttering around her thumb still.
“Prez,” I mutter, jerking my chin for him to come in the house.
“How are you doing, VP?” he asks when he puts Astrid down for her to go see the rest of the guys. They all take their turns hugging her. She squeals when Rati lifts her up into his arms.
“As good as I can, I suppose.” I shrug, shoving my hands in my front pockets.
“Look, Fenrir, I know you’ve got a lot of shit going on but I want you to know we’re not gonna abandon you. Not when you need us the most. You’re not just our VP, you’re our brother, and we don’t turn our backs on those who are family. Now we’ll talk about it more later, but I’m thinking we need to find a place to call our own,” Runes says, shocking the shit out of me.
“You saying you want to give up the road?” I ask, furrowing my brows before going on. “I was gonna talk to you about something similar ‘cause, Prez, you may have said it, but I’ve felt the fear of losing my brothers because there’s no way I can ride out with you all, not after what’s happened.”
Runes is the only person I’d speak to about fear or anything else feeling related. I’m not a pussy by any means, but it doesn’t mean some won’t take it for weakness.
“I don’t think we’d ever give up the road, but we need a place where we can all go to call home when we want it,” he mutters. “Besides, I need to be close to my kid myself for a while. Last time I spoke to him, he sounded off and I need to find out what’s going on.”
I nod in understanding, my mind blown by my Prez’s words. What he’s talking about doing we’ll need a club vote on, but knowing my brothers the vote will be unanimous in the decision.
Glancing at the time on the wall, I sigh looking at Emil, Oskar, and Astrid. “Time to go,” I mutter.
The service was short and meaningful and we stand by the stone already put in place. A lot of times a headstone takes time to be made, but my pops made sure to have one made for all the people he considered family.
The funeral home put Amanda’s ashes in a cremation box and they’d had a hole two feet deep dug for us to put the box in. I find it strange how when you dig a hole for a body you go six feet deep but the ashes of that person are only two feet.
Inwardly shaking my head, I hold Astrid’s hand in mine while wrapping an arm around Emil’s shoulders. Oskar stood next to Emil with Rati’s arm around him.
Feeling eyes on mine, I lift my head to find Charm watching us. I knew she’d be here and though I hadn’t seen her since the night I came here, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about her. It didn’t help the kids were asking where she was, and every time they did the image of her soft alabaster skin and bright ocean blue eyes pops into my mind. It only makes me feel sick to my stomach. Amanda might not have been my ol’ lady anymore, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t mean something to me still. The fact I’d find her friend attractive is something I shouldn’t be doing.
I remember one of Amanda’s and my conversations not too long ago about how Charm helped her out so much. I’d forgotten until just now.
Astrid notices Charm and releases my arm to go to the woman. This past week while going through albums with my kids, I’d seen several pictures of Charm with the kids. Her laughing while rolling around in the grass with the boys as well as her holding Astrid when she’d been three or four. She must’ve been around for quite a while, longer than I thought.
A pang of guilt fills me as Amanda’s voice pops into my head about how much of a good woman Charm is and how she thought she and I would hit it off. That’s something she would try to do too. Set me up with a woman even if it was her I’d sleep with when I came home to visit.
“I want you happy, Soren. I know you say I’m all you need and that you love me still but that’s not completely true. You need someone who can see deep into that heart of yours and bring out the man I know you to be. Happiness can be seen in different forms of life.”
Lifting my gaze to the sky, I notice a rainbow in the distance and know Amanda’s with us. She loved rainbows and to have one on this day makes it feel like she’s with us.
I lower my gaze back from the sky to watch Charm with my daughter. Emil and Oskar join her and they give her hugs. Right then, I make the decision to make things right with her. The way my kids’ faces have lit up upon seeing her is all I need to see to know she’s important to them. Plus, we’re neighbors and don’t need any rifts between us. Not when my kids are involved.
For them I’ll make it right.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Chapter Seven
Charm
Imagine my surprise when my mother called early this morning and said she’d be swinging by around four this evening. She’s never just swung by, even when my
