A few of the Mumsgate mums say hello, but they don’t approach me or involve me in their conversations. That’s fine by me. I need to get to work anyway to get the fresh goods on display early. I want to try and keep to my routine despite not feeling much like working. It would be far easier to go home; to bury myself beneath my duvet and allow the world to continue revolving without me.
But ‘easier’ is the coward’s way. I refuse to go down that road.
Lucy is back to her usual self; I hear her singing before I even open the door to the café. It’s a good sound: normal. Comforting. And I think that’s what I need – even if my life has been turned upside down, if my surroundings stay the same, at least when I’m out of the house I can pretend things are fine. Be in another, safer, kinder world for a while. However brief. News that Tom has been charged with murder will circulate throughout the village quickly; ‘safer, kinder’ might not last.
The singing stops as Lucy sees me.
‘Beth, hi. I wasn’t sure if you’d be in after you left early yesterday. I texted you last night, but when you didn’t respond …’
I pull my phone out of my bag and scroll through my messages. ‘Oh, sorry,’ I say as I find her text. ‘I was kind of ignoring my phone. Thanks for opening up as usual. I need to try and keep things going.’ I continue into the back room and hang my bag on the hook behind the door. Lucy has followed me in. I can sense she wants to ask me something.
‘Are you okay? I mean, like really okay?’
‘I’m trying my best to be, Lucy. It all feels so hopeless though. Tom wants to see me.’
Her eyes widen. ‘I expect he does. I guess he must be feeling very alone. Not knowing what’s going on, worrying about being sent to prison for life.’ Lucy gives a little gasp. ‘Sorry, that was insensitive of me.’
‘No, you’re right. God, it’s all such a mess. How has this even happened to us? Everything was going so well.’
‘Are you going to see him, then?’
‘I really don’t know. That’s awful of me, I know. But I can’t bear to see him like that. It would destroy me.’
‘But won’t he want to know you support him? Believe he’s innocent? You do believe that, don’t you?’
And that’s the million-dollar question, I realise.
Do I believe my husband is innocent? Is that what everyone wants to know?
She must’ve known.
‘Of course,’ I say. ‘Right. Best get out on the floor – shouldn’t leave the shop unattended.’ I walk back and go behind the counter, busying myself with restacking the glasses and wiping down the coffee machine.
‘A latte to go, please.’
I turn to see Adam. ‘Well, hello. Don’t usually see you around here during the day,’ I say.
‘No, I’ve popped out for a coffee break.’ He leans forwards conspiratorially and grimaces slightly. ‘I’m on a bit of a begging mission.’
‘Oh, are you?’ I raise one eyebrow and smirk.
‘Yes. And I wouldn’t usually ask favours from people – I hate being indebted – but I think you sort of offered, so I’m hoping it’s not too much to ask …’
‘Go on,’ I say, guessing what’s coming.
‘Would you possibly be able to collect Jess from nursery when you get Poppy and have her at yours until around six?’ He scrunches his eyes and puts his hands together in prayer form.
‘Is that meant to melt my heart, like a puppy-dog looking at me with its big ’ole brown eyes?’
‘Yeah, that’s the hope,’ he laughs.
I suck in a breath, giving a dramatic pause before releasing it and answering him. ‘Sure. Of course I’ll do it. And you’re right – I did offer to have Jess over for tea this week. So you don’t need to think of it as a favour and I won’t hold you to repaying the debt or anything.’
‘Thanks so much, Beth. You’re a life saver. I could’ve asked Constance, but I feel I’ve called on her a little too much lately. And I think spending time with Poppy would really help Jess.’
‘Sorted then. Just remember to inform Zoey I have permission to take her.’ I turn my back to make his latte, and when I’ve finished, I hand it over, popping a freshly made cookie into a paper bag too. ‘You must try these,’ I say, handing it to him. ‘On the house.’
‘Freebies too! I’ll come again.’
‘Well, not too often. You’ll start tongues wagging.’
‘Oh, God, do you think? Maybe I shouldn’t …’ He trails off, his face aghast.
‘No, Adam – I only meant that giving out free cookies too often will, not you being here,’ I say, surprised at his reaction. But then I remember how he was when I dropped by his place to see him. He really seems concerned about gossip.
Is it that he’s just a bit sensitive? That is a good quality, I guess, but surely he can’t be that worried about what Camilla’s friends think? I wonder if there’s more to it; that maybe his intentions towards me aren’t as innocent as he makes out and he feels a bit guilty.
‘Ah, right.’ His cheeks burn with embarrassment. ‘I’m so good at reading situations,’ he says with an awkward chuckle. ‘You should see how I interpret emails and texts.’
We both laugh.
‘You’re better than you think,’ I say. ‘Now, you’d best get back to work before they think you’ve gone AWOL.’
‘Yep, I had. I’ll see you at six. And thanks again, Beth. I really appreciate this, especially given … you know.’
‘No, what?’ I say, trying to keep my expression serious.
Adam’s eyes widen, his mouth dropping open. He’s about to say something, then
