“But you didn’t.”
Rocky shook his head. “That’s because it took me less than a day to see what you haven’t bothered to notice in months. Zayn may be rich, but he has nothing. So, no, I won’t help you join the brigade of people who claim to love him while leaving him empty. For fuck’s sake, you stood him up on his birthday.”
“What?” Spencer was pretty fucking sure he had not done that.
Rocky gave him a sharp nod. “Why do you think he invited you to that cookout at Koda’s mom’s place? It was his birthday, and he knew no one else would remember. He was right.”
Spencer felt sick. He didn’t understand why Zayn hadn’t just said it was his birthday and he didn’t want to be alone. Then again, he did. Zayn always expected he would get the bare minimum from people, and still everyone failed him.
“I can’t know what he doesn’t tell me.” Even to Spencer’s ears, it sounded like a poor excuse.
“You’d know a lot if you fucking asked,” Rocky shot back. He swiped his hand through his hair. “Look, I think you care, but I also think his mom does too. That doesn’t make either of you good people. If you really want to be with Zayn, you will, but I won’t help you accomplish it. I want to see him with someone who gives as much as he does, and—no—I don’t mean financially. Zayn deserves someone who makes him smile. I haven’t seen him do that in a long time. If that’s not you, then why in the hell are you wasting his time?”
“I swear I’m not trying to.”
Rocky shrugged. “Then prove it.” He left Spencer standing there, no closer to having Zayn back than when he woke up that morning. Spencer headed back inside, feeling defeated. Jinx was up. He had carried the flowers to the kitchen and was reading the card when Spencer found him.
His gaze moved Spencer’s way as Spencer moved to join him. The tip of his nose was red, and his eyes were bloodshot. He flashed the card Spencer’s way. “I owe Zayn an apology. You two would still be together if not for me.”
Spencer wrapped his arms around Jinx and held on. “That’s not true at all. I should’ve explained that you’re like a brother to me and I should’ve shown up when I said I would. That’s not on you.” Spencer pressed his lips to Jinx’s temple and held him tighter. He no longer knew which of them he comforted. Spencer had fought his whole life for everything he had, and he wouldn’t lose Zayn without a fight. All he needed was a plan. He could do this.
Meat sizzled on the grill. Kids screamed and splashed in the pool. People milled around the backyard, playing games, drinking, and talking. Zayn sat in a lawn chair near the back door. Felix sat beside him, but they didn’t talk. It was Zayn’s fault. Everything hurt all the time. He swore he smelled Spencer’s cologne and heard his over-the-top and larger-than-life voice booming throughout the party. A smile tugged at Zayn’s lips. He could see Spencer showing up wearing a winter coat and no shoes. Goddamn. He had really fallen hard for a hot mess. Zayn hoped it went away soon. He didn’t want this constant pain in his chest.
Another hint of Spencer’s cologne washed over him. Zayn turned his head in its direction, even though he knew Spencer wouldn’t be there. He froze as familiar fingertips trailed down his arm before being pulled away.
As Zayn looked on in shocked silence, Koda’s mom, Elena, dragged Spencer from person to person, introducing him to everyone at the backyard barbecue. Zayn blinked, trying to clear away the illusion. Spencer was still there. For once, his clothes matched the season, and he looked perfectly normal. His jewelry was missing, and his hair was brushed. Zayn hated it. He also couldn’t figure out what in hell Spencer was doing there.
Zayn fought against the pains in his chest. He hadn’t expected to see Spencer today, especially not at his family’s weekly backyard barbecue. In fact, he hadn’t thought Spencer ever listened to a word he said when he talked about these gatherings. Much less had he known if Spencer recalled how to find the place. Zayn had no clue why Spencer would show up now. He knew Spencer had been here once, DJing Koda and Felix’s son’s birthday party before they started dating. However, Spencer hadn’t bothered to come with Zayn the entire time they had been dating. Zayn didn’t understand why Spencer bothered now. There didn’t seem to be any logical explanation. Unless Felix had invited him. It made sense Spencer would show up for anyone and everyone but him. Plus, it was Koda’s mom who was introducing Spencer to everyone, as if she had expected him to be here today.
Elena was like a second mom to Zayn. He had known she would show Spencer a motherly kindness Spencer had been denied throughout his life. That was one of the main reasons Zayn had wanted Spencer to come to these things. God knew it wasn’t to meet his mom. Zayn’s mom still played cards with Koda’s uncle and pretended Spencer wasn’t there. Thankfully, even though they weren’t together, Elena still showed Spencer every bit as much as kindness as Zayn had hoped. Zayn couldn’t help but smile as he watched her hug Spencer continuously—like he was one of her own.
