Rocky set his gear aside before taking Jinx’s and setting it beside his. He slung his arm across Jinx’s shoulders. “Come on. I promised you dinner if you won. I always keep my word.”
Jinx flashed Spencer a smile as he let Rocky steer him from the room. Spencer watched the pair until they were gone. Then his gaze slid Zayn’s way. Zayn put their gear away. Spencer’s throat swelled as he stared at Zayn. He wanted the happiness back. Spencer craved the intimacy they once shared. He didn’t want Zayn’s anger.
“Should I ask?”
Zayn flashed him a strained-looking smile over his shoulder. “Jinx came by to apologize for coming between us. I assured him it wasn’t his fault and then I decided he needed a distraction from his loss.”
Spencer swallowed, trying hard to keep breathing through the pain. “You’re a good man.” He swallowed again. Nothing he did seemed to ease the pressure growing in his throat and behind his eyes. “Truthfully, I could use a distraction from the loss too.”
Zayn sat in the closest chair, as if Spencer’s claim took out his knees. “I’m sorry. I guess you were pretty upset about Jinx’s mom too. You were close to his family.”
Spencer shook his head. “I mean, I was, but that’s not what I meant. Losing you is what’s killing me.”
Zayn didn’t respond.
Spencer couldn’t stop talking. “I met your mom.”
“How did that go?”
Spencer fought to keep his feelings from showing in his expression and tone. “She’s not the worst.”
A smile snapped to Zayn’s lips at Spencer’s answer. “She isn’t the best either.”
Spencer smiled. “Oh, yeah. She does not like me. You won’t be getting her blessing.” His smile fell. “Not that you need it, since you’re done with me.”
Zayn didn’t say anything.
The pressure in Spencer’s chest doubled. He couldn’t leave. “I went to the doctor recently, and it turns out you’re right. I have ADHD. It’s funny that you knew that when no one else ever bothered to check.”
Zayn shrugged. “It wasn’t commonly assessed when we were kids. My friend just got lucky because he had a pediatrician who saw more cases than most.”
Spencer nodded. Zayn still hadn’t kicked him out, so he didn’t go. “They gave me a choice to try taking meds or go without since I’ve made it this far in life. Since it’s obviously affecting my short-term memory, I’ve decided to try the meds.”
For a moment, Zayn didn’t say anything. He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, as if thinking better of it.
Spencer couldn’t take it. “Say whatever you meant to say. I can take it. Most likely, I deserve it.”
Zayn smiled. “It wasn’t anything bad. I just started to say, if you don’t like the way they make you feel, don’t keep taking them on my account. Then I remembered that was dumb. There’s no reason for you to do anything on my account.”
“Why?” The question popped out before Spencer could call it back. It was too late. The floodgates opened. “I want to make you happy. No doubt it doesn’t look that way, but I do. It’s not your fault I’m stupid.”
Rage flashed in Zayn’s eyes. “You’re not stupid. When you open your mouth, I expect you to talk about yourself the same way you’d speak to me. Would you call me stupid?”
Spencer blinked. He had never seen Zayn lose his temper. “No.”
Zayn gave him a sharp nod. “Then you don’t get to talk about yourself like that either. You are mine and I expect you to be treated with respect, even by you.”
Spencer held his breath. He was like a deer trapped in the headlights of an oncoming car. The last thing he wanted to do was to hope, but he couldn’t stop it from happening. He didn’t know if Zayn realized what he had said.
“Well?” Zayn snapped when Spencer didn’t respond.
“Okay.” He dragged the word out, hoping it was the right answer.
Zayn scrubbed at his forehead. “Why do you drive me insane like this?”
Spencer didn’t know how to respond, especially since he was pretty sure the answer was that he was dumb.
Zayn dropped his hand and stared at Spencer. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper when you left here with Jinx.”
“I know you weren’t mad about that.” Spencer had to be honest. He knew he had been fucking up way before that moment broke them.
“Still,” Zayn said, dismissing Spencer’s claim. “It was bad timing for me to finally break. Jinx needed you more than me.”
“That doesn’t excuse the hundred times you needed me, and I was too busy.”
They stared at each other in silence.
Spencer couldn’t take the anger. “I will do better by you. No doubt you’re tired of hearing empty promises from me, but I mean it. I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
Zayn didn’t react. He simply stared at Spencer in silence.
A humorless smile tugged at Spencer’s lips. “Do you have nothing to say?”
“I usually don’t,” Zayn said, sounding calm. “But in this case, I’m thinking. Do you know what I think our problem is?”
“What?” Spencer needed Zayn to have the answers.
“I think because of your short-term memory issues, a lot of our problems are just an out-of-sight, out-of-mind thing. When we’re not together, you don’t think about me.”
Spencer’s eyebrows snapped together into a scowl. “That’s not true. I think about you all the time.”
“Were you thinking about me all the times you forgot about me?”
Zayn didn’t sound angry, merely curious. That had Spencer truly considering the question and answering honestly. “No. Every time I forgot our plans, I was always distracted by whatever I was doing at the time. When I’m working, I lose myself to it.”
“You should move in with me.”
Spencer blinked at the sudden proclamation. “What?”
Zayn nodded. “If you forget me because you’re busy and you honestly don’t want to do that anymore, then move in with me. I should think it would be pretty fucking hard to forget me if you’re under my roof.”
Spencer jumped
