Jinx was amazing, though. He took Hudson back home, and together they carried the last of Jinx’s things inside. With Tito’s help, it hadn’t taken long to get Jinx completely moved in. Jinx had given up a lot when he had gone to live with Zayn. He had sacrificed even more to be with Hudson, but at least he would have all his things in one place. Hudson was more than aware he was a complete mess. He wasn’t hallucinating this time around. At least, Hudson didn’t think so. He took his meds while standing at the kitchen counter and with Jinx watching. Jinx was right. Hudson would likely crash soon. He wanted to make love to Jinx before it happened. Maybe then Jinx wouldn’t leave.
“I’m sorry.”
A sweet smile touched Jinx’s face. “Please stop apologizing.”
A wave of sadness washed over Hudson. He had a hard time keeping it at bay. “No. I embarrassed you. That’s not the proposal I planned. You deserve so much better than what happened tonight. I don’t even understand. We were supposed to be starting a new chapter tonight. I’m so fucking sorry.” Hudson’s voice broke. He was such a fuck-up.
Jinx crowded his space. “Tell me what you planned for your proposal.” His smile was hard to resist. Hudson clung to that while trying to breathe through the pain. “Um, I rented out that French restaurant you like. The place with the three-month wait for reservations.”
“Really?” Jinx sounded and looked happy.
That kept Hudson talking. “Yeah. I planned to watch you order all your favorite things. Then, at dessert, the server was supposed to bring out a tablet with a video to show off all our highlights together.”
Jinx held Hudson tighter and laughed. “Please tell me the clip of you telling everyone to suck your dick on the Tyler show was in the video.”
“Definitely.”
Jinx laughed harder, and some of the darkness retreated. Hudson tried harder to stay afloat. “Then once I had you all teary-eyed, I planned to drop to one knee.”
“That’s a good plan. Romantic. Well thought out. I don’t know, though. It doesn’t quite have the flair of standing on a table in the middle of a coffeehouse.”
Hudson couldn’t resist any longer. He kissed the corner of Jinx’s mouth. “I’d do anything to keep you. I don’t care what people think. Only you.”
“And Rocky,” Jinx said, holding Hudson’s stare.
A shot of pain tried taking out his knees. “I can’t talk about that yet.”
Jinx nodded and rubbed Hudson’s chest, as if trying to calm him. “Okay. Tell me how I can make your first night back home perfect.”
Hudson didn’t have to think about it. “Go to bed with me. Let me make love to my fiancé.”
Jinx’s expression turned wicked. “There’s nothing I want more. Let me talk to Tito really quick. I need to ask him to grab something for me I forgot, but then I’ll be ready for bed. Is that okay?”
Hudson let go of Jinx’s waist. “Of course. Just hurry. I’ve spent the last six months miserable.”
Jinx pressed a quick kiss to Hudson’s lips and pulled away. “I’ll be back before you can miss me.”
He really was. Jinx jogged from the kitchen, was gone half a minute, and was back. Hunger hit Hudson like a ton of bricks at the sight of Jinx walking toward him. “I love you.” Even to his ears, the claim sounded harsh.
A sweet smile touched Jinx’s lips. “I love you too.”
“Please tell me you forgive me for ruining everything.” Tears pressed at the backs of Hudson’s eyes. The crash was coming faster than expected.
Jinx’s body collided with his. “Stop thinking.”
Hudson didn’t have much choice. His tongue was in Jinx’s mouth and Jinx’s hand was inside Hudson’s pants before he knew it would happen. Heat exploded through him. Hudson tore at Jinx’s clothes. His madness changed directions. He needed to please Jinx. Hudson wanted to hear Jinx cry his name. If he could blow Jinx’s mind, maybe Jinx could forgive him for destroying everything. Jinx didn’t protest when his bare ass hit the cold marble island. Hudson didn’t give him time to think about it. He leaned over and swallowed Jinx’s cock. Jinx held his hair while Hudson licked and sucked. He was consumed with a need to make Jinx scream. Saliva ran down his hands while Hudson went wild on Jinx’s cock. He used the mess to finger and stretch Jinx’s asshole. Moans caressed his ear. They fed his madness. He needed things to move faster. His brain sped at a thousand miles an hour. Hudson wanted everything else to keep up.
In a flash, he shot upward and towed Jinx from the island. Jinx scrambled to hang on to the edge so he wouldn’t fall on the floor as Hudson impaled him. The instant Jinx’s hot hole engulfed his dick, Hudson froze. His heart raced. His anxiety hit a wall. He started hyperventilating.
“I forgot the condom.”
His chest caved. Each breath came harder than the last. Jinx would never forgive him now. Everything he did was wrong. He was worthless. Hudson didn’t know why Jinx bothered with him. Everyone would be better off if he died. Then they would be free of his abject stupidity.
Jinx stroked his face. “Shhh. It’s okay. Breathe. We’re getting married. It’s okay.”
Air filled his lungs. His mind cleared. His heart slowed. Hudson took another breath. It sounded strained—like a drowning man—but his mind got even clearer. They were getting married. This was a commitment. Hudson hadn’t slept with anyone other than Jinx and Rocky since they started dating. That meant he hadn’t slept with anyone else since the last time he got tested. He also never had unprotected sex with anyone. Hudson took another breath. He wasn’t endangering Jinx. They were making love. This was a benefit of knowing there would be no one else. It was just them now.
Hudson rocked forward. A gasp escaped Jinx. He did it again. Jinx felt amazing on Hudson’s cock.
“I love you.” That was
