“Whoa, back the fuck down. Where is this shit coming from?” I say, trying not to raise my voice enough that Asha might hear me.
“It’s coming from a man who has to sit here every time his best buddy goes off to protect someone, and I never know if or when he’s coming home. Who protects you, huh? You were a mess when you came home last time. We all put your pieces back together, and you finally find the woman of your dreams. One who has spunk and challenges you, not taking any of your shit. Plus, she thinks I’m a legend too. Yet you are going to throw all that away to protect some stranger. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
My heart is thumping because I never really knew what a toll it took on Seth too.
“It’s not like that, Seth. She’s the reason we’re running. This time it’s personal.” My voice is softer now, as I try to get him to understand how I have no choice.
“Fuck, Kurt.” Seth’s voice changes to one full of concern now.
“I know, man, and you can’t tell her. She doesn’t know yet and won’t until the moment we’re ready to get her out.” I know I can trust him to keep his mouth shut.
He doesn’t speak for a few seconds, and I know it’s because he is processing everything I’ve just told him.
“Is she in danger, like big-time shit?” I know he’s scared to hear the answer.
“I asked her not to tell me, but since then, I’ve gotten all the details because I could feel it in my gut that things are about to go south. I can’t tell you anything, but I’m not leaving her on her own, if that answers your question.”
“Okay, then what do you need? I’m your man, whatever it is. Because I need you both alive, okay? Do you hear me? Do not die!”
“Don’t plan on it.” I get a stupid smile on my face at Seth’s way of telling me he cares.
“Good, now start talking.”
“Right, I need a car. I can’t use my truck. I need it parked for me to take at a moment’s notice close to Asha’s house. In the trunk I need some things from my house. I’ll message you a list. You know my gun safe code. I’ll let you know what I want. We’ll work out where to leave the car and the keys.”
“Yep, got all that. Next.” The attitude from his earlier rant is gone and he’s all business now.
“Jodie. I need you to look after her and protect her. I know she hates that, but do it anyway. Mom has got Dad to comfort her, but Jodie has no one. I know it’s hard on her, and this time it’ll be even harder because she and Asha have become really close.” I feel my heart sag a little at the pain I’m about to put them all through again.
“Goes without saying, she’s like my sister.”
“Good, just remember that thought. Sister! It means hands off,” I tease, trying to lighten the moment a little.
“Ugh, gross.” Seth moans. “Anything else?”
“Just one more thing, and that’s look after yourself. I know things are tough for you at the moment since the breakup. Don’t do anything stupid until I get back. Got it?”
“Got it, but you know me, I can’t promise anything.”
“Man, how many times have I heard that statement before I’m bailing you out of some dumb thing you’ve gotten yourself into?”
“Tell me again why I care that you’re leaving?” Seth laughs at his own joke.
“Because you love me, man.” My voice cracks a little with the emotion I’m trying not to show. It’s easier than telling him I love him. But he gets the message.
“Pfft, whatever.” Back to business now. “I’m onto it. Get me the list now and everything will be in place ASAP, so you’re ready.”
“Seth.”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. I couldn’t have gotten through all these years without having you to talk to about what I was doing. Your friendship has been my sanity. No one has known as much about me as you do, and that’s because I could trust you. I’m so grateful.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. No sappy shit. Go keep your girl safe. Start typing. I want that list now!”
“Yes, boss, I’m on it. Talk soon.”
“Yep, soon.” Seth is gone, and I’m left with a wet slobbery tennis ball on my foot, waiting for the next throw. And one hyped-up dog who has been running all over the place chasing the ball for the last ten minutes while I talked.
“Last one, girl, then I need to cook some dinner for your mama. She will need her strength to get through the next few days.”
Throwing the ball, my mind is spinning with what else I need to think of.
I can’t miss anything.
This plan needs to be watertight.
No fuckups!
I just can’t wait for it to be over.
Then I might be able to breathe again… maybe.
ASHA
I’ve spent all day in my office, typing, then deleting, then trying to type again.
Nothing is coming out right and it all sounds like shit.
I even tried to write in my journal about Kurt, but that’s not working, either. My emotions are too jumbled to know if I love him and trust him or if I love him but now doubt the trust. The one thing I can’t shake is that I love him, and no matter what, it doesn’t seem to change. I’m sure that’s why it’s so hard to contemplate that he might not be the man I think he is.
Maybe this whole relationship was just meant to be for a short time. A break from my reality, which completely sucked before Kurt came into it. Who knows? I’ve given up trying to guess.
With all the craziness of thinking about Kurt, my brain can’t let go of the thought of news on my parents.
Why wouldn’t Davina tell me when she was here? Obviously, she doesn’t believe
