But after not knowing anything about them for four years, this is just cruel, dangling a carrot in front of me and then pulling it away.
My mind is playing horrible tricks on me. I know they have to be okay, because I would feel it in my bones if they weren’t… surely.
But then why won’t Davina tell me anything about them? I understand why they separated us, yet I could never wrap my head around the lack of information or not being able to talk to each other every so often.
I’ve trusted the process the whole way along, but now I’m starting to doubt a few things. Well, to be honest, I’m wondering if I should have pushed for more.
For some reason, I’m starting to feel like a pawn in a game that’s bigger than I can understand.
Davina is acting strangely, and I would have thought I’d have seen Scott today. If she was really worried for my safety, surely, he would have made an excuse to check on me. I’ve had no contact even by phone.
I want to curl up in a ball, close my eyes, and wish it all away. But then again, the way my nerves are peaking, closing my eyes would be a disaster.
There won’t be any risk of me sleeping tonight, because I’m actually petrified of the darkness and what it will bring.
I know I can’t hide in here any longer, as the night has arrived, and Kurt will already be suspicious of why I’ve been in here all day. And to be honest, I want to spend time with Kurt before I leave. Something is still pulling at me that this is all a mistake and I’ve done the wrong thing.
Opening the door to my office, I’m hit with the richness of Kurt’s bolognaise sauce he loves to make. It’s his comfort food, which means he’s feeling stressed too.
Coco meets me and starts walking by my side the whole way down the hallway to the kitchen. It’s like she’s watching me and maybe she has a sixth sense to know that I’m leaving.
“Hey, how’d you do, get lots of words down today?” Kurt looks up from where he is stirring the sauce on the stovetop.
“Yeah, thanks.” I’m not lying, it’s just that none of them were worth keeping. “Umm, that smells great.” I reach my hand down and pat Coco on the head as she nuzzles against my leg.
“I know you love it, so I made it for you to put a smile back on that pretty face of yours.”
He’s just standing there looking so hot, and I almost beg him to stop being so sweet.
“You didn’t need to do that. You know I’ll eat anything.”
“Well, not anything. I seem to remember from that first night that there were a few things that were on the no-go list, like white chocolate.” His smile is infectious. I can’t help but smile back at him.
“Of course you would remember that part. It’s only because you don’t like it either, so that’s cheating. Okay, I’ll rephrase that, I eat most things.”
He chuckles a little. “Yeah, I eat most things too, but I have to say, there are some things in life that I love to eat which aren’t quite on the average food list.” He wriggles his eyebrows up and down at me.
“Oh my god, you did not just say that.” I can feel my cheeks burning but know it’s also affecting me in other ways.
“I can show you if you like.” Taking the pot of pasta off the stove, he drains it over the sink.
“You’re incorrigible.” I’m supposed to be guarding my feelings, yet here I am getting all hot and bothered as soon as he starts talking and looking at me like I’m his next meal.
“So I’ve heard before, from my girlfriend, actually.” His voice is a little rough, just the way I like it.
I need to change where this conversation is headed, because I have visions that I certainly shouldn’t be having right now.
I start fussing around with getting glasses and everything we need for dinner onto the table, while Kurt starts putting the pasta on the plates.
“Just a small amount for me. I’m only little.” The smell is making my mouth water, but I know my stomach is in too much turmoil to eat.
“I’m well aware of your body size, we are quite well acquainted. But that doesn’t get you out of eating. Nice try, though.”
Why is everything he’s saying leading us back to flirting and sexual innuendos?
Both of us sitting down and facing each other, Kurt’s eyes are on me. I know he’s waiting for me to take a bite before he starts.
I figure that at least if we’re eating, he’ll stop all the talking. Taking the first mouthful, I can’t help but moan.
“Mmmm, god, you are so good at this.” I wish I could cook like Kurt. It’s one of the many things I’ll miss.
“Among other things that I excel at.” His confident smirk shows me he knows what he’s doing.
Fuck. Just stop talking, Asha, and you won’t give him an opportunity to find a reason to open that sexy mouth of his except to put food in it.
Just like my hunger for Kurt makes me ravenous, it seems his bolognaise sauce has the same affect.
“For someone so small, you managed to clear your plate. I’m impressed,” he says.
Not half as much as I am. The food has settled my stomach a little. Let’s hope I can keep it down.
“You cooked, so I’ll clean up.” Moving my chair out from underneath me, I stand back from the table, but Kurt is just as quick.
“No, I can do that. My mess, I’ll clean it up.”
“Don’t be silly. We can do it together so it’s quicker.” Nodding in agreement,
