This is not like us.
The silence is so foreign. Normally we would be talking and laughing nonstop. I so want to blurt it all out and ask him what the hell is going on.
Why did he make me fall in love with him?
If he didn’t plan on loving me forever, then why is he standing in my house taking such care of me and looking at me like I hang the moon?
I swear it’s the fastest clean-up and washing up that Kurt’s ever done.
A little panic is now creeping over me. Looking at my watch, I can’t help but see that I’m running out of time.
I have four hours left, and then I have to leave. I know I’m not allowed to take anything with me, so there is nothing I can do to prepare.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Fumbling over my words, I shoot off towards the bathroom, knowing that Kurt will think it’s strange I’m taking another shower today, but it’s all I can do to avoid my thoughts.
I don’t even look back at Kurt or wait for his answer.
Standing in the shower, the hot water streaming over me, I try to wash away the pain that is building. I know I have to do this, I’ve known from the start it was always a possibility, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.
My salty tears are mixing with the water now, and I can’t hold it back anymore. Leaning my forehead on the tiles, my arms wrapping around my body, I can feel the despair taking over.
Hearing the glass door in the shower slide open behind me, I can’t stop my body from letting go of my emotions.
No words are spoken as Kurt turns my body and pulls me into his naked chest. I want to stay strong and pull away, but physically, I just can’t.
I belong here, I know I do, and maybe one day I will be able to find my way back into Kurt’s arms.
He doesn’t ask why; his strong arms just hold me tight.
Slowly I release my arms from around my own body and then cling to his, sliding them around his back. Our chests are stuck to each other so tightly that not even the water is passing between our bodies.
Kurt’s hands rub up and down my back. I can feel my body responding.
This may be my last chance to show Kurt how I feel. That’s what I’m trying to tell myself, anyway.
But I know this is to burn the memory of his body into mine.
“Kurt?” I plead, looking up into his eyes, trying to tell him through my eyes all the words I can’t say.
Including the hardest one of all… goodbye.
“I know, baby. Let me take your worries away.” The timbre of his voice is vibrating through me.
“Please, oh god, please.”
Hoping he will just take me hard and fast against the wall, I’m waiting, but instead his head ever so slowly descends, and his lips start with soft kisses on my jaw. Making his way across to my lips, he nibbles at the side until I can’t hold on much more. The sigh escapes my mouth, and my lips open up perfectly for him.
Kurt’s tongue sweeps the inside of my mouth like he is making sure he touches every part of me.
Our tongues now wrap together, and I want more. What started slow is now becoming more frantic.
It’s what we do, who we are in our sex.
We can’t stop, and the passion is so intense. The restraint we hope to have is snapping as fast as the heat is rising between us.
“I think you’ve forgotten what this feels like,” he says, his voice vibrating through my body.
“Like what feels like?” I murmur as Kurt pushes my shoulders back against the wall, dropping to his knees in the water on the shower floor.
Both hands on my hips holding me still, he says, “This…” as his mouth takes its first taste of my pussy.
“Ohhhh…” I groan while his tongue starts to work its magic against my clit. “Oh god, oh fuck.” I’m a babbling mess already.
Kurt was wrong. I’ll never forget what this feels like.
I’m powerless from Kurt controlling my body, just the way I love it.
Just as I’m building and feel the explosion about to break free, he pulls back and stands.
He shuts the water off behind me, and we are now standing wet and naked, staring at each other with eyes that have so much to say.
“Bed now. I’m going to fuck you, so you never doubt how good we are together.” Water is still running down my skin and the drops glisten on the dark hairs on his chest. Not even thinking, I reach out and swipe the water up off Kurt’s nipples with my tongue.
His body flinches with pleasure, and the sight sends electric tingles through my body.
Stepping back from him a little, my brain on overload, I know what I want, and taking his hand, I pull him with me.
“Then remind me,” I purr to him, sliding onto my bed, watching him. My mind blocks out every doubt in my head about what is transpiring around us.
Right now, in this moment, I want to feel Kurt and all the love he professes for me.
I want to live in this moment and know that nothing has been a lie, not one moment of passion has been fake.
Because the way Kurt is standing here staring at me, it feels impossible not to be true.
Crawling up the bed over top of me, Kurt is devouring my skin with his lips and teeth, marking me as his in every way possible.
His lips now taking mine, there is no teasing. His cock slides in fast. My moan is rushing out into the silence, only to be twisted with his grunting every time he thrusts hard into me.
I want it. Just like this.
Hard and sexual.
There is nothing sweet about this moment.
“You are fucking
