Tartuffe

than I am
Might order matters in less gentle fashion. Orgon

And how could one do worse than order people
Out of their house?

Mr. Loyal

Why, we allow you time;
And even will suspend until tomorrow
The execution of the order, sir.
I’ll merely, without scandal, quietly,
Come here and spend the night, with half a score
Of officers; and just for form’s sake, please,
You’ll bring your keys to me, before retiring.
I will take care not to disturb your rest,
And see there’s no unseemly conduct here.
But by tomorrow, and at early morning,
You must make haste to move your least belongings;
My men will help you⁠—I have chosen strong ones
To serve you, sir, in clearing out the house.
No one could act more generously, I fancy,
And, since I’m treating you with great indulgence,
I beg you’ll do as well by me, and see
I’m not disturbed in my discharge of duty.

Orgon

I’d give this very minute, and not grudge it,
The hundred best gold louis I have left,
If I could just indulge myself, and land
My fist, for one good square one, on his snout.

Cléante

Aside to Orgon. Careful!⁠—don’t make things worse.

Damis

Such insolence!
I hardly can restrain myself. My hands
Are itching to be at him.

Dorine

By my faith,
With such a fine broad back, good Mr. Loyal,
A little beating would become you well.

Mr. Loyal

My girl, such infamous words are actionable.
And warrants can be issued against women.

Cléante

To Mr. Loyal. Enough of this discussion, sir; have done.
Give us the paper, and then leave us, pray.

Mr. Loyal

Then au revoir. Heaven keep you from disaster!

Orgon

May Heaven confound you both, you and your master!

Scene V

	Orgon, Madame Pernelle, Elmire, Cléante, Mariane, Damis, Dorine.
Orgon	Well, mother, am I right or am I not? This writ may help you now to judge the matter. Or don’t you see his treason even yet?
Madame Pernelle	I’m all amazed, befuddled, and beflustered!
Dorine	To Orgon. You are quite wrong, you have no right to blame him; This action only proves his good intentions. Love for his neighbour makes his virtue perfect; And knowing money is a root of evil, In Christian charity, he’d take away Whatever things may hinder your salvation.
Orgon	Be still. You always need to have that told you.
Cléante	To Orgon. Come, let us see what course you are to follow.
Elmire	Go and expose his bold ingratitude. Such action must invalidate the contract; His perfidy must now appear too black To bring him the success that he expects.

Scene VI

	Valère, Orgon, Madame Pernelle, Elmire, Cléante, Mariane, Damis, Dorine.
Valère	’Tis with regret, sir, that I bring bad news; But urgent danger forces me to do so. A close and intimate friend of mine, who knows The interest I take in what concerns you, Has gone so far, for my sake, as to break The secrecy that’s due to state affairs, And sent me word but now, that leaves you only The one expedient of sudden flight. The villain who so long imposed upon you, Found means, an hour ago, to see the prince, And to accuse you (among other things) By putting in his hands the private strongbox Of a state-criminal, whose guilty secret, You, failing in your duty as a subject, (He says) have kept. I know no more of it Save that a warrant’s drawn against you, sir, And for the greater surety, that same rascal Comes with the officer who must arrest you.
Cléante	His rights are armed; and this is how the scoundrel Seeks to secure the property he claims.
Orgon	Man is a wicked animal, I’ll own it!
Valère	The least delay may still be fatal, sir. I have my carriage, and a thousand louis, Provided for your journey, at the door. Let’s lose no time; the bolt is swift to strike, And such as only flight can save you from. I’ll be your guide to seek a place of safety, And stay with you until you reach it, sir.
Orgon	How much I owe to your obliging care! Another time must serve to thank you fitly; And I pray Heaven to grant me so much favour That I may some day recompense your service. Goodbye; see to it, all of you⁠ ⁠…
Cléante	Come hurry; We’ll see to everything that’s needful, brother.

Scene VII

	Tartuffe, an Officer, Madame Pernelle, Orgon, Elmire, Cléante, Mariane, Valère, Damis, Dorine.
Tartuffe	Stopping Orgon. Softly, sir, softly; do not run so fast; You haven’t far to go to find your lodging; By order of the prince, we here arrest you.
Orgon	Traitor! You saved this worst stroke for the last; This crowns your perfidies, and ruins me.
Tartuffe	I shall not be embittered by your insults, For Heaven has taught me to endure all things.
Cléante	Your moderation, I must own, is great.
Damis	How shamelessly the wretch makes bold with Heaven!
Tartuffe	Your ravings cannot move me; all my thought Is but to do my duty.
Mariane	You must claim Great glory from this honourable act.
Tartuffe	The act cannot be aught but honourable, Coming from that high power which sends me here.
Orgon	Ungrateful wretch, do you forget ’twas I That rescued you from utter misery?
Tartuffe	I’ve not forgot some help you may have given; But my first duty now is toward my prince. The higher power of that most sacred claim Must stifle in my heart all gratitude; And to such puissant ties I’d sacrifice My friend, my wife, my kindred, and myself.
Elmire	The hypocrite!
Dorine	How well he knows the trick Of cloaking him with what we most revere!
Cléante	But if the motive that you make parade of Is perfect as you say, why should it wait To show itself, until the day he caught you Soliciting his wife? How happens it You have not thought to go inform against him Until his honour forces him to drive you Out of his house? And though I need not mention That he’d just given you his whole estate, Still, if you meant to treat him now as guilty, How could you then consent to take his gift?
Tartuffe	To