She pulls back and brushes my hair from my face. “Don’t let Christian ruin anything for you. You deserve someone nice.”
I nod. She’s right. I do, but how can I give my heart to another when it’s in so many fragmented pieces.
I hear a bang down the hall and my pulse jumps. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Let me just clean up my stuff.” I follow her into the bathroom to pick up my toiletries, as she stuffs the stick and packaging material into the box. Once done, we leave his room, and as I shut his door, emotions crash over me like a turbulent wave, until I feel like I’m drowning. This is it. The very last I’ll ever see Christian’s room.
Why on earth did I let myself fall in love?
27
Christian
The rain falls heavy as I drive across campus, and the dark and dreary day is a fitting match for my mood. It’s the thirtieth of December, and I’m back early because we have practice tonight to prepare for next week’s game. I couldn’t wait to escape home. Watching Mom and Dad put on a show while they constantly bickered when they thought I wasn’t within hearing vicinity—I always was—was enough to send me packing, and if I heard one more word about me finding myself a nice girl…
I don’t get it. Why don’t they just get a damn divorce? If they’re staying together for my sake, if they’ve been doing that for years, they should probably know that staying in an unhealthy relationship does far more damage to the kid. Not that I’m a kid anymore, but my views on love and relationships were heavily influenced by what I heard and saw.
Were?
I guess those views changed after Maize, but what does that matter now? I need to put her out of my mind and focus on tonight’s practice. I’m not in the mood for football. No, I haven’t been in the mood for anything since Maize kicked me out of her life, with no explanation. The least she could have done was to let me know why. Steph had the decency to tell Linc she was interested in someone else and while it hurt him, he wasn’t left hanging. I glance at the empty passenger seat and my fucking heart pinches tight as I hit the steering wheel. She should be beside me.
I park at Wolf House and sit there for a few seconds. I stare at my window, the curtains shut. To think I was going to have venetian blinds put on for Maize after she told me that funny story about her idea of wealth. I wanted her to have everything she’s ever wanted. I guess in the end, I wasn’t what she always wanted.
My phone pings and my heart jumps. I snatch it from the seat, and disappointment grips me when a text from Chelsea pops up. Fuck, I’m not sure why she won’t take no for an answer. She was pretty adamant that we were going to be a couple before we both went off to our respective colleges. What she did to Maize and me in high school is unforgivable, but I guess a part of me feels sorry for her, knows the pressure she’s under. I’m getting it from my folks too, but latching onto me out of fear… that’s not good for either one of us.
I force myself to get out of the car, grab my bag from the back and trek slowly through the lot and up the stairs. I don’t care if I get wet. I don’t care about much these days, apparently. I reach my room, push open the door, and the first thing I’m hit with is Maize’s lack of presence. The place looks the same as it did before she moved in, but it now feels a little colder, and a whole lot lonelier. Maybe I should go find her, demand answers. Linc heard through gossip that Maize and Kaitlyn had left home on the 26th, and came back here. No doubt she wanted to clear her things out without the risk of running into me.
I drop my bag, grab a bottle of water from my small fridge and take a big drink. If I didn’t have practice tonight, I’d go for something stronger. A knock sounds on my door and I turn to find Thor standing there.
“How was your holidays?” he says, and stretches his hands over his head like he just crawled out of bed. His religion doesn’t celebrate Christmas, so he stayed here over the break. His brother was flying in to spend time with him.
I put on my best face. “Good. Did you have a good visit with your brother?” He nods and steps into the room. From the tightness in his muscles to the clenching of his jaw, I can tell he has something on his mind. I turn to him, face him square on. “What’s up?”
“I was here when she came back,” he says and drops down into the small kitchen chair, the same one Maize sat in when she surprised me with eggs benny. Another day that cemented my love for her.
“Yeah.” I try to show disinterest but really, I want to know all the details. “When was that?” Did that come out like I’m just making conversation and don’t really care?
“The 26th, actually.” I nod and take another sip of my water. “She packed all her things and bolted.” A long pause. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good, Thor.” I stretch my arm out and fake a throw. “Looking forward to getting on the field.”
“Afterward the beer is on me, okay?”
I smile, because I have a good tribe of guys who have my back. “Thanks, man.” I eye my bed, hoping to get a bit of rest before practice tonight. I haven’t been sleeping so well.
“Catch up with you later,” he says and disappears, understanding I need some time alone, where
