God, the guy really can’t take a hint can he? I feel a hand on my shoulder, turning me. I stop abruptly and turn to face Matt. I ignore the desire I feel, concentrating instead on the anger bubbling up inside of myself. “Are you fucking insane? Who follows someone like that in a car with blacked out windows?” I shout, focusing on the lesser of the evils he’s committed.
“I — I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just trying to get up the courage to talk to you.”
“Stop following me Matt,” I snap. “I don’t want to see you and I certainly don’t want to talk. I have nothing to say to you.”
He looks hurt and I feel a rush of guilt before I remind myself that our whole relationship was a lie. If anyone should be wearing that hurt puppy look, it’s me. I turn away from Matt again, but he grabs my hand and holds it in his. It’s obvious he’s not ready to let me walk away from him, so I decide to hear him out and then he’ll have no reason to keep on following me. “What do you want?” I demand.
“I heard you quit your job. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
I snort out a bitter laugh. “I’m just peachy. Now if that’s it…?”
He still holds my hand in his and I have to fight to not let myself feel the sparks where our hands touch. Matt might have only pretended to have feelings for me, but the lust? That’s real.
“Why did you leave the restaurant?” he asks.
Seriously? I thought I was slow on the uptake. How can he not see what’s going on here? “Let me see. Maybe because everyone at work thinks I was in on your little ruse. And that I betrayed all of their trust.”
“Shit,” Matt says. “I’m sorry, Callie. I didn’t think of that. Look I can fix this.”
“That’s not even the worst part,” I say, before I can stop myself.
Dammit. I had no intention of saying more, but I have to now since I’ve led in with that.
Matt’s looking at me questioningly, waiting for me to elaborate.
Oh screw it, I’ll just tell him the truth. What does it matter now?
“You know when Marco came onto me, I didn’t find him remotely attractive. But even if I had been attracted to him, I would never have slept with him. You know why? Because the idea of getting a promotion because I was fucking the boss turned my stomach. Days after I told you I was paying my own way through college, I mysteriously got a promotion and a pay rise. I wonder why that could be? Oh, yeah. Because I was fucking the boss.”
“Callie no, it wasn’t like that. Let me explain —”
“Save your explanation for someone who gives a shit Matt, because quite frankly, I’m done with you and I’m done with this conversation. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a class to get to.”
It’s a lie, but after Matt lied about literally everything, I feel it’s justified. I try to pull my hand away, but Matt isn’t letting go of me. I pull harder, but he only tightens his grip.
A man passing by pauses to look at us. “Are you alright, miss?” he asks.
“She’s fine,” Matt says.
The man ignores him, waiting for me to confirm I am indeed all right. I could say no, he won’t let go of me, but I’m not about to instigate a fight. Instead, I nod and give what I hope is a sheepish smile. “I’m fine, thank you,” I say. “Just a stupid argument.” I glare pointedly at where Matt still holds onto me.
He releases me and the man keeps walking.
I start to walk away, hoping this will be the end of it. The longer I spend with Matt, the harder it’s getting to stay so angry at him. I can feel myself starting to cave in, to at least want to hear how he thinks he can justify all of this.
It isn’t the end of it. Matt closes the gap between us in two long strides.
I keep walking, not even looking at him, and he falls into step beside me. “Look I get why you’re angry. Really I do. I would be too. And I know you don’t owe me anything, but please let’s just grab a coffee or something and let me explain.”
“I’ve told you, I’m running late for class,” I say.
“Okay. Dinner tonight then. We’ll talk, and I swear I’ll tell you anything you want to know. After that, if you never want to see me again, you have my word I’ll leave you alone.”
“Fine,” I hear myself say before I have a chance to really think it through.
Curiosity has gotten the better of me. I have to have some answers so I can get closure and move on. At least that’s what I tell myself, because it’s an easier truth to swallow than the real truth. The truth where I want Matt to be able to explain things in a way that makes sense to me. In a way where I can forgive him.
Not that it matters. We’re done. I was just a pawn in his James Bond game. He only wants to explain to ease his own conscience. I’m about to open my mouth to tell him I’ve changed my mind, and I don’t want to hear it.
“I’ll pick you up from your dorm room at seven. See you then,” Matt says before I have a chance to speak.
“Whatever,” I say, cursing inwardly that he got in before me and I lost my chance to change my mind.
“See you tonight.” Matt turns and walks back towards the car which has been idling at the curb waiting for him.
I have to admit he’s good. He sensed I was ready to call the whole thing off, so he got the hell away
