“I see a lot of potential in you. That’s why you’re on theteam.” I slapped him on the back.
He smiled even though he lost his footing a bit.
“I’m sure the whole team will love whatever you bring. AndI’ll eat anything.” With how much I worked out, any extra calories wouldn’t bean issue. Another result of having too much time on my hands. Work. Coach. Exercise.Rinse and repeat.
“Okay. Thanks, Coach Caldwell. See you tomorrow!” He hurriedoff, nearly tripping over his own feet as he went.
I shook my head and grabbed the footballs that were left onthe field. I shoved them into the equipment bag as I wondered about what else Icould do to help Jefferson fit in. More encouragement might just make the otherplayers resent him. Some kind of party, maybe? I shook my head. That wasprobably overstepping a bit. Hopefully Jefferson’s mom would bring something tothe game that would make everyone suddenly love him. My mom won people overwith her cooking all the time. My stomach growled just thinking about a home cookedmeal. Takeout every night was getting a little old.
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I finished zipping theequipment bag. It was a text from Penny:
“Are you still coming over?”
I smiled to myself and texted her back. “Is this youbegging?”
My phone buzzed almost immediately. “Ha. Ha. Very funny,Matt. I’m checking in because you keep canceling on me at the last minute. Idon’t want to sit here like an idiot all alone on the couch again. I don’t likebeing stood up.”
I pictured Penny sitting on the couch, looking not at alllike an idiot. She couldn’t look bad if she tried. She was beautiful. Intoxicating.She was a breath of fresh air in this city. And just texting her stirredsomething inside of me. Her unruly red hair was just begging to be wrapped aroundmy fist. Her plump lips begging to be kissed. The last few times we’d hung out,she’d worn these little shorts that showed off just a glimpse of the bottom ofher perfect ass. I didn’t want her to be alone on a couch. I wanted to be ontop of her on that couch.
And I was pretty sure I was going to hell. Because Pennywasn’t mine to be thinking of. She was James’ wife. I shouldn’t have beenthinking about fucking anyone’s wife, let alone one of my best friends’. Somethingwas seriously wrong with me.
I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. “Maybe we shoulddo it a different night,” I texted back.
“Please, Matt. James is working late tonight so he won’t behome for a few hours. It gives us plenty of time.”
I was pretty sure she didn’t even realize how suggestive thatsounded. Or…had she made it sound suggestive on purpose? For just a second Ilet myself think that she desperately wanted me too. Stop.
Penny was fun. And kind. And sweet. And yes, beautiful. But Iknew I wasn’t actually in love with her or anything crazy like that. My friendsteased me about it. But they were all joking. Because they knew the truth. Myheart was too cold for love.
I looked up at the stands. Sometimes during the games, I’dlook up there. And if I squinted and let the cheering faces blur together, itwas like I could make out Brooklyn in the crowd. My high school girlfriend. Myfiancée. My everything. Something about being in this stadium brought her back.Like I could just reach out and touch her. The familiar sounds of helmetsclashing and the smell of freshly cut grass made it seem like Brooklyn was herewith me. Smiling and cheering. Alive. Happy. Mine. Frozen in time. Alwaysfrozen in time at 16.
I closed my eyes. I lost the love of my life when I was astudent at Empire High.
And I was just pissed that James had gotten the life I alwayswanted. It almost felt like he had taken it from me. I thought that feelingwould fade over the years. But it hadn’t. James had everything.
I opened my eyes and stared at the empty stands.
And I had nothing.
My phone buzzed again and I looked at Penny’s new text.
“Is it because you’re worried I’ll tell someone? I promisedyou I wouldn’t. It can be our little secret. I promise, Matt.”
Yeah, she had no idea how suggestive she sounded. Our littlesecret? It felt like there was a knife twisting in my chest. It reminded me ofthe times that I had treated Brooklyn like a dirty little secret right here atthis school. She’d been a scholarship student, just like Jefferson. She hadn’tbelonged in my world. I’d forced her into it. And now? Now she was gone.
The cool autumn breeze blew and I felt a chill run down myspine. I loved the fall just as much as I hated it. Brooklyn and I had sharedone season together. I’d met her in the fall and she’d passed away before theseasons changed. All I knew was her in the autumn. So I loved the fall becauseit reminded me of her. But I also hated it because it reminded me of losingher.
So I kept myself preoccupied with coaching. Or maybe a partof me was just stuck here at Empire High. Frozen in time. Everyone else had movedon with their lives, but I couldn’t.
I looked back down at my phone. I’d always be stuck here. ButPenny knew how to make me feel better, at least for one night. She reminded meof Brooklyn more than anyone else ever had. And tonight, I just needed someoneto raise my spirits before I went home alone.
I texted her back as I made my way to the parking lot. Theprincipal’s car alarm was still blaring. And there was a little dent on thehood. I hurried past it, hoping no one would make the connection that it wasJefferson who had caused the damage. I didn’t need anyone else telling me tocut him from the team. “Okay, I’m coming over now.”
“Yes! I can’t wait! This is going to be so much fun. You haveno idea how long I’ve been looking forward to this. Get
