His grin split his face wide. “At bloody last. You can finally get a leg over. How long has it been since someone other than yourself touched your dick?”
I feigned shock. “Your bloody daughter is right there, mate.”
“One, she’s asleep. Two, I will teach her to never touch a dick. Three, don’t change the subject.”
I made a static sound. “Oh no. Sssssss. Going through a tunnel. Sssssss. Can’t hear you. I’ll call you later.” More static.
He glowered at me. “You’re in your damn flat. I—”
I hung up on Liam with a chuckle. That odd, hollow feeling settled in my chest again. It wasn’t so much that I wanted Liam’s life. I liked my life. I’d had a good life. Supposedly retired from active duty after ‘incredible service.’ Her Majesty the Queen had actually said that to me. But when I took the clandestine assignment with Exodus, I had no idea what I was in for. Six years. Six years of never even really understanding how I ended up here… alone.
Not that it wasn’t encouraged to have a family, to have a life. It actually was. It looked better for a cover. But I couldn’t get over the imminent danger I’d be imposing. But still, Exodus fully encouraged all employees to ‘look the part.’ Which meant having a girlfriend. A wife. And it wasn’t the lying that held me back. I could lie all day. I looked at it as putting on a new skin. It was more that I wanted just one person I could be real with. One person I didn’t have to pretend with. Was it so wrong that I actually wanted to care about someone? To actually want a connection with them?
Not to mention, my life was too dangerous, period. What if I couldn’t keep them safe?
Connection gets people killed.
Which was probably why I’d been dragging my feet about this date with my neighbor. I’d joined a dating app, just to make it look like I was complying. I didn’t want Exodus in my love life any more than I wanted my mother in it, but a few dates here and there kept up appearances.
Except the dating app I’d picked seemed to fall a little short. It had paired me with a woman who lived across the way in my building. And don’t get me wrong; she was a stunner. A full mouth, light brown skin, a mass of curls that looked like they desperately needed tugging, and the kind of smile that could stop your heart. Not to mention her body. Jesus Christ, her fucking body. Curves that had to be cupped. Long athletic legs. She also had this quiet strength about her.
But despite her meeting every criteria I’d given the app, on our dates, she was… I didn’t know how to describe it… all surface. I didn’t need some kind of heavy emotional connection to want into her knickers, but fuck, some connection would have been nice. And to make matters worse, I could tell she wasn’t exactly enthused by me either. It wasn’t like I could actually be myself.
Our first two dates had been interrupted. The first when she’d had some work emergency. A pop star needed some crisis managed, so she’d run off from our bowling date with her phone to her ear. Just as well, since she’d been kicking my arse.
During our second date, Exodus had gotten a lead on the terrorist, Mikhail Bronstein. It was all hands on deck, so I’d been called in just after our movie at Griffith Observatory and hadn’t even gotten to kiss her properly. The best excuse I could make under the circumstances was to feign food poisoning and put her in a cab without me. She’d almost refused and wanted to accompany me to the hospital. I was surprised she’d even agreed to a third date after that, but she came by the next day with soup and saltines and a sports drink to help with the dehydration for the food poisoning I didn’t really have. I found I wanted to see her again.
She was just a straightforward, good person. The kind of person I should be with under other circumstances. To her, I was Marcus Black, a video game designer. It was a great cover and the kind of job that allowed me to travel but mostly work from home. And it was low profile. It gave me all sorts of reasons to not be available. It would be difficult to lie to her though.
There was a knock on my door, and I frowned. My other neighbor, Mrs. Washington, liked to check on me a lot. She’d always been a little nosy, which frankly, I didn’t mind because I knew she was just lonely. But she had a tendency to chat for long periods, and as I had a date that night with Lyra, I didn’t really have time. But still, I went to the door because she was a nice old lady who tried hard.
But when I checked the security monitor, I frowned then reluctantly dragged the door open to find my best mate and partner, Rhodes Matheson. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to give you a pep talk for your date.”
I frowned. “You know I don’t need a pep talk, right?”
Rhodes shoved by me regardless. “Yes, you do. You know Exodus doesn’t like it when our agents don’t comply.”
I frowned. “They’re saying I’m being uncompliant?”
He laughed. “Nah, I was just messing with you.”
I flipped him off as I jogged into my bedroom to grab my jumper.
I didn’t want to go too formal. It was our third date. I didn’t want to signal that I expected anything from her.
I was under the distinct impression she had made up her mind about me. Hell, we hadn’t even kissed.
I yelled at Rhodes from the bedroom. “Don’t be a twat. I know it’s hard for you but just try.”
He chuckled at that. “Nah. I was actually here to pick up the SRP
