Hey you. Lying in bed thinking of you. What are you up to today?
It was the first time he’d sent her a message that didn’t just contain dates and times. He knew he was breaking his own rules but he was craving the thrill of communicating with her. He saw the two blue ticks appear, signalling that she had read the message, followed by the notification that she was typing. He waited for her response, feeling the familiar sense of anticipation building inside of him at the very thought of talking to Claire. Finally, her message appeared.
Hey yourself. Also lying in bed. Wishing you were here with me. No great plans today, the weather is rubbish so I’m going to hibernate with M&S supplies and some box sets. Later I’m going out x
Going out? Going out where? With who? He found himself wondering if Claire was seeing other people. They’d never discussed it and of course he could hardly tell her she wasn’t allowed – he was, after all, a married man. Still, the thought of her going on a date with someone else made him feel irrationally jealous. She’s mine, he thought, I want her all to myself. But he couldn’t tell her that because at best he’d look possessive and at worst he’d look like a complete psycho. Either way she’d probably run for the hills so instead, he composed a more measured response.
Going out, lucky you! Anywhere nice?
Her response came quickly.
A birthday thing for a friend at a new restaurant in Mayfair. What are you up to?
The truth was most likely soft-play hell, followed by a child’s birthday party later, followed by a tense evening with Kate while he watched Netflix, she played on her laptop in the kitchen and they both ignored what had happened the previous night – and each other. He realised he’d rather be anywhere else but here. Before he’d had a chance to think it through, he typed:
Fancy some company?
Her response was instant:
On a Saturday? Well that’s a treat. Sure, come on over.
He was up and in the shower within seconds, humming to himself as he lathered up and planned what he would say to Kate to explain his absence on a weekend. The familiar feeling of guilt and shame niggled him, a voice inside him warning him: you’ve taken it a step too far, you’ve let it encroach on family time, you’re being careless, you need to stop this, but he turned his mind away from it, refusing to acknowledge it and instead allowing himself to get lost in the pure excitement at the thought of getting out of this house and being with Claire in the next couple of hours. It was amazing how easy it was becoming to banish those guilty thoughts. By the time he got downstairs, he was fully prepared.
‘I’m so sorry, love, Angela from work has just called. There’s been some crisis with a client and it’s all hands on deck. I’ve got to go in for a few hours, I’ll be back this afternoon, okay?’
She didn’t even turn around. ‘Fine,’ she said.
7
Kate
Within forty-five minutes of Nadia’s departure, Kate’s phone started beeping with messages. All in the same vein – So sorry to hear about Pete! How are you doing? I can’t believe it, do you need anything? She ignored them all. But now that word was out, Nadia and some of the others would probably be gossiping about it at the school gates and when Rachel returned, she knew immediately from the look on her nanny’s face that she’d overheard something. Sending Maggie into the living room to play with Lily, she sat down at the kitchen table and gestured for Rachel to join her.
‘I’m sure you’ve heard the gossip,’ she began. Rachel interjected at once: ‘I don’t listen to gossip, Kate, your personal life is your own and you don’t need to tell me anything. Just let me know what I can do to help.’
Kate’s eyes filled with tears at Rachel’s lovely response and before she knew it, she was sobbing uncontrollably. It was the first time she had cried since this whole sorry situation kicked off and once she started, she couldn’t seem to stop. Rachel, who it seemed was not even fazed by hysterical jilted wives, enveloped her in a big hug and held her tightly, allowing Kate to cry as much as she wanted. When the tears finally slowed down she sat back and wiped her eyes, looking quickly at the door to make sure that the girls were still in the other room.
‘Thanks,’ she said, ‘I needed that.’ She took a deep breath and started talking, filling Rachel in on the events of the last forty-eight hours.
When she was finished, Rachel gave her another hug. ‘It’s going to be tough for you, Kate, but you’re a strong, capable woman and you’ll get through this. And whatever you need, you let me know, I’m here to help.’
Rachel to the rescue again, picking her up when she was down, stepping in to save the day. It was just like when Kate had first met her, she’d been a nervous wreck then too. BC, as she liked to call it – before children – she loved her job at a big PR agency. Imposter syndrome was not a concept that Kate was even aware of in those days. She worked around the clock, always the last one standing at work socials and the first one in the office with a bacon sandwich and a coffee the
