I felt lighter, hopeful.
“Maybe we’ll ask her to join us next time,” I said.
“Oh really?” Noah said.
“Really.”
My whole body felt less tense. Talking and laughing felt easier, and the weight in my chest was easing off. Maybe this was something I could let myself have after all, Rachel in my life, something real.
19
Rachel
Monday morning when I got to the cabin, Max wasn’t in his usual rush to get out of there. He asked how my weekend was. I was kind of used to him avoiding me, so I was a little flabbergasted.
“It was good. How about you?”
“Nice, we had Noah come over and I grilled out. Sadie played on her swing set. We hung out outside until the mosquitos decided the citronella didn’t bother them anymore.”
“Sounds like you had a good weekend,” I said, not really knowing what to do with Friendly Max instead of Grumpy, Hurried Max. “I worked, but on Sunday night, I went for Mexican with the girls. We had a fun night out.”
“Did you go to Gaucho’s? They have the best arroz con pollo. I’ve had it a couple times, but Sadie doesn’t really like their food.”
“You can always get her a Happy Meal,” I suggested.
“That’s true,” he said with a half-smile.
“The next time we grill out, Sadie wants you to come. If you’re free.”
“Really? Okay, well, if that’s what Sadie wants.” I said archly.
“I want that, too,” he said. I just blinked at him for a second. I felt like my mind was blown and that maybe I needed to sit down and take deep breaths because Max Shaffer was asking me over for dinner with his kid after acting all distant and polite for ages.
“I’d like that. If I’m not working,” I said.
“You girls have a good day. We picked up some blackberries from the farmer’s market yesterday, cause Sadie said something about you teaching her to make a tart with pastry cream. I’m not sure what that is, but I’ll sure as hell eat it,” he grinned.
“You’ll love it.”
He left, and I felt happy and confused, which was better than sad and resigned. After we played outside and had lunch, Sadie and I started making a shortbread crust for the tarts. I taught her how to dump beans on the crust to weigh it down in the oven so it could blind bake and not gain too much golden color. By the time we’d put the pastry cream in the fridge to chill, my phone was ringing and it was Hugh. That was never a good sign.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Rach, Kelly just went home sick.”
“Okay. I know I have her scheduled for the shift before mine, but—”
“I already tried everybody on the list, trying to do you a solid cause I know you’re busy with the little girl during the day. Nobody can come in to work it. I have a doctor’s appointment at one that I can’t miss. You’re the manager, kid. Come cover the shift.”
“I’ll have to call Max. I’ll be in as soon as I can get there.”
“I can hold down the fort for a half-hour, but you know the customers don’t like me.”
“They love you, Hugh. Hang in there. I’ll just—call Max.”
I dialed Max’s number.
“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you, but I had to call because something came up. I need to leave and go to the diner. Can you come take over with Sadie for the rest of the day?”
“I’m hauling to the sawmill right now. It’ll be three-thirty before I can quit. You can take her to the diner if you don’t care. Let her color in the booth or let her have the tablet.”
“I know we agreed I wouldn’t do this, take her to the diner—”
“It’s fine, Rach. You’ll keep an eye on her and she’ll probably love it. It’s a one-time thing.”
“Thanks, Max. We’ll be there waiting.”
“I’ll be there by four, four-thirty at the latest.”
I turned to Sadie who was watching me, curious.
“Daddy said you can come to the diner with me this one time. You have to stay at the booth and if you need something you tell me. Go grab a couple Barbies and I’ll get the tablet off the charger.”
“I get to play the tablet?”
“I know, right? I knew you’d be excited,” I said.
Relief just whooshed through me. I put on my shoes, made Sadie go pee and put on her flip-flops. I grabbed the stuff she’d picked out to take with her and shoved it in a grocery bag.
“Do I get to be a waitress?”
“Uh, no. I don’t think that’s gonna happen, Sadie Lady. But you can color and play dolls and stuff. And remember I set up the Super Why Phonics app for you.”
“Phonics? Raaach…” she said, trying out a whine. I turned and looked at her, rolled my eyes.
“Nice try, kiddo. But you have to play educational stuff and watch PBS Kids. No Snapchat, remember?”
“I remember,” she said, but she had a silly smile on her face, and it felt good to know she wanted to come with me to the diner, that she thought it was fun.
I got her settled, got her some lemonade, and went to work. It was slower during the afternoon, so I was able to spend some time coloring with Sadie. I let her fill ketchup and mustard bottles with my help and taught her how to wipe them off. Then we did the salt refills, and I ended up under the table with the broom and dustpan because she was not ready to fill saltshakers.
Around three-thirty, she was getting restless. I’d taken her to the bathroom, set her up an episode of Wild Kratts, but she was just bored of being there. The third time I told her to quit picking the ice
