The weather seemed to be getting worse by the minute. Snow buried the world under several inches of white, making me think we wouldn't be able to open the door without snow tumbling into our home. The horrible temperatures only made things worse, turning the snow into ice as it clanked against the windows and door. I began to worry how much longer the house would hold up under these conditions. I huddled closer to Nick for heat and smiled. That seemed to get his attention and take him out of the silent trance he was in.
"Rachel, are you just using me for warmth or are you being nice because of what I said a few days ago?"
Nick was now looking down at me, but I could feel part of his face on my forehead from the way he tilted his head to look at me. I felt his hand that was on my shoulder fall away and sink to the carpet.
"Why do you need to know? Does it really matter?" I shrugged.
I didn't like to share my feelings and I would do anything to avoid doing so. I couldn't look him in the eyes if that was what he expected me to do. So I kept my gaze on the mighty fire in front of us. Not letting my stare leave the flames, letting my mind to wander with the flames every movement.
"Does it matter? Does it matter? Tell me now because I think that I at least deserve to know if you at least care for me."
It was beginning to get hard to hear each other talking over the storm. Nick pulled away from me, his hands moved back onto my shoulders, forcing me to look into his electrifying blue eyes. Their normally tranquil and soothing depths were now darkened with force. His fingers were holding onto my shoulders so that I was facing him.
"Nick I can't-"
"Or you won't."
"I can't talk about it. I really can't talk about it. It hurts to talk about anything and it hurts when I don't."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Nick turned, but I knew how angry he was getting...upset and frustrated that he couldn't get answers. The way I often felt. I usually tried to hide my vulnerability with sarcastic words and pretending to be tough.
"I'm afraid of getting hurt…" I took a deep breath as Nick slowly twisted to look at me back with his normal caring eyes.
"Rach, I'm not going to hurt you." His eyes seemed worried that I didn't already know that.
"I hate feeling as if I'm a helpless loser, Nick. I can't stand it. This isn't a normal feeling for me. These feelings hurt way too much, they aren't worth it. I'm afraid of getting hurt. What if I'm wrong and I don't really love you? What if you're wrong about loving me? This just doesn't seem right...it's more of an annoyance than anything really. I'm sorry Nick. I just can't deal with all of this and I'm so sorry…"
I could feel my cheeks burning from a combination of the fire and this sudden rush of emotions. I could sense the tears contemplating on pouring down my face as Nick took me into his arms once again. His strong, loving arms enveloped my body close to him, comforting me with their vibes of security that I needed. That was when I felt it, the first tear to fall from my eyes in over five years. Nick held my face in between his two hands as he brushed away the tear with his thumbs.
As the fire blazed Nick just seemed to glow with each flame, showing each feature, every feature of his face illuminated to their true beauty. The golden flames were dancing with the midnight blue in his eyes. Each of his brunette locks illuminated by the fire's light.
Nick placed his one hand on mine under the blanket as the other journeyed to my mostly dry hair. As his hand went through the waves I could see my hair was matching the fire light, probably not as majestic as his though. I surprised myself as I leaned in and kissed Nick on the lips, sending sparks through me. I loved how his lips seemed to just fit mine, to make my body fall to pieces. Nick slowly slipped an arm around my waist which made my heart jump even faster.
I had encircled my arms around his neck to bring him closer to me and his arms were around my waist doing the same. Feeling his tongue against my lips wanting to enter; it still felt like the first time we kissed. The magic was still in the kiss to make it feel like the first time or even more exciting if that was possible.
One of his hands started to drift towards the bottom of my sweater, resting on my hip raising my sweater just a bit so his hand was on skin making it feel like electricity, creating the sensation of being brought back to life. My head was spinning with excitement. Before I had any idea of what was really going on my sweater was gone and Nick's bare chest was pressed against mine with carpet against my back. Goosebumps formed on my skin as his warm body finally met with my usually cold skin.
The thrilling small action sent my heart racing, now I knew for sure that Nick could feel it. I could feel my heart trying to
