Adam found his thoughts wandering frequently. He couldn’t clear his mind. He wondered if he would ever see the band members or his family again and what they would do without him if he got killed or had to go into hiding.
Chapter 46
Adam tried to refocus on thoughts of summoning all of the peaceful practitioners to the meeting. But try as he might, his thoughts would drift back to thinking about the implications of the upcoming meeting with the KTP. He thought of the possible outcomes: One, they would all end up in a battle and die; two, they would reach a peaceful resolution with the KTP that would free the peaceful practitioners; or three, they would all end up having to go back into hiding for the rest of their lives, with Adam being a wanted man for killing their leader.
He rubbed his face and eyes. He had to believe that he had already received the outcome he wanted and show sincere gratitude for it. He and Maddie were so intent on contacting the others that they didn’t notice how quickly the day went by. They didn’t even stop to eat. Adam didn’t as much as glance at the clock until his stomach started grumbling and his eyes grew heavy. By the time he realized how hungry and sleepy he was, he didn’t know which he wanted to do first—sleep or eat. He decided they should eat to keep their strength up. Neither one of them had eaten much in the past few days. Since they were still in their disguises, he took the liberty of ordering room service.
The food arrived but remained untouched, as neither one of them wanted to stop what they were doing. Maddie continued calling, texting, and e-mailing. He continued searching the internet for possible leads and ways to alert others without alerting the KTP of their plans. Around midnight, when they were both finally exhausted, Maddie stopped what she was doing and lay down on the bed. She rolled on her side and stared at Adam. Feeling the weight of her stare on his back, he turned to look at her. It was the first time in several days she had actually stopped to look at him.
Although she smiled, her eyes betrayed her sadness as she said, “Adam, will you please hold me?”
Surprised, Adam returned her stare. He was so glad to hear her say those words. She didn’t hate him. She needed him to comfort her. He lay down behind her and wrapped his arms around her, spooning her back to his chest. She turned her head to look at his face, her eyes searching his.
“I can’t stand the silence any longer. I know you probably hate me, but I haven’t had a chance to thank you for saving my life,” she said softly.
Once again she surprised Adam. He didn’t know how to respond. Was that how she saw it? That he hated her? He started to say something, but she cut him off.
“Please, let me finish,” she said. “I truly believe that if you hadn’t done what you did, we would both be dead right now. And I’m sorry if I haven’t been coping well with this whole situation. I never dreamed our vacation to visit friends would turn out this way. I’m so sorry that I dragged you along and put you in danger—yet again.”
It was then that the realization hit him. She had not been quiet and aloof for the last few days because she was angry at him or because she didn’t love him anymore. She was, once again, blaming herself and feeling guilty for putting him in danger. She thought he was mad at her. She believed that she was the one who put him at risk, not the other way around. He almost laughed aloud at the irony of the situation. He released a sigh of relief.
Apparently, all this time, she had been beating herself up inside, worrying that she was putting Adam at risk and feeling guilty about it. He should have known. That was why she had left him after the avalanche. She had said she couldn’t live with herself if something had happened to him. How could he have been so foolish?
He pulled her closer to him and said, “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear you say those words.”
She looked puzzled as if that was the craziest thing she had ever heard.
“You don’t hate me?” she said.
“I thought you were angry at me for killing Paul and the other man.”
She furrowed her brow.
“Angry at you for saving my life and for acting in self-defense? I could never be angry at you for that.”
“Well,” he said, “I could never be angry at you for bringing me here and introducing me to your wonderful friends. I love you, Maddie, and I’d rather die than for us to be apart.”
Relief flooded her face as she said, “I love you too, Adam. And I will be putting you in danger once again at the meeting next week.”
He winced and said, “You can’t blame yourself for that one. I was the one who opened my big mouth and told them my ideas about meeting. So I could turn it around and say that I’m putting you at risk.”
She smiled and even giggled a little. It was such a relief to hear her laughter and to see her smile a genuine smile for the first time in days. He pulled her closer. She rolled over to face him, hugged
