“Maggie, what happened while I was away?” he asked, forcing himself to exude a calm he did not feel. “Are you upset I have to work again?” He had turned so he faced her, although she continued to stare at the barely trickling creek. “Maggie?”
“You should do what you want, Dunmore, and cease worrying about me,” she said in a flat voice. “I’m not interested in …” She sighed and broke off what more she would have said.
Gripping her shoulders, he spun her to face him, the ache in his heart now overpowering any ache in his leg. “Not interested in me? Is that what you’re trying to say?” His blue-green eyes glowed with hurt and uncertainty. He stared deeply into her eyes, his jaw ticking, as he clamped it shut.
“No, I’m not. Why should that be such a surprise to you?” She stared at him, wriggling as he continued to hold her firmly. “You have a limp.”
He froze at her comment. “Yes, I’ll always limp, although I hope, as I regain strength, it won’t be as pronounced.” He paused, his gaze becoming more guarded, as he met her tormented expression. “Do you no longer want me because I’m not strong enough?”
She shivered and shook her head. “That has no bearing on anything.”
He squeezed her shoulders, giving them a little shake. “Answer me. Does the idea of being with a cripple disgust you?” His eyes were as bright as when he had a fever and filled with dread. His cheeks were flushed a dark red. “Maggie, I …” He broke off, his voice filled with devastation.
She pushed at him, but he wouldn’t release his hold on her shoulders. “Let me go.” When he continued to hold her, she pushed again, arching and struggling and doing everything in her power to free herself. “Let me go!” she screamed.
“No,” Dunmore whispered. “Not until you tell me why you’re acting like this. Not until you tell me what’s changed between us.”
“I hate you,” she gasped, her gaze roving around and filled with panic. “I hate you!”
He released her with such a sudden swiftness that it took her by surprise, and she fell forward to her knees. Sobs burst forth, and she buried her face into her legs, her body shaking.
“Forgive me,” he whispered. “I should never have held you against your will. I’m sorry, Maggie. I never meant to hurt you. To make you remember.” He broke off and wiped at his mouth, turning to stare at the creek. “I can understand why you’d despise me.”
“Philip,” she gasped out in a soft, sorrowful voice. “I can’t have you. Don’t you understand?”
He heard the torment and the anguish in her voice and knelt in front of her, grimacing slightly at the pain it evoked in his leg. “No, my darling, I don’t.” Brushing at strands of her loose auburn hair that shone red in the sun, he gazed at her with adoration, love, hurt, and confusion.
“I’m not the woman you need,” she said, with a small sob. “I’ve got no courage.” Her body shook with a silent sob. “I … I’m terrified of leaving Fort Benton again. I can’t go on adventures with you. I can’t be the woman you need.” She repeated the last sentence as though it broke her heart.
Edging closer to her, so that his knees tangled in her long skirts, he stroked his thumbs over her cheeks. “Oh, my precious Maggie, if you never leave this town again, it wouldn’t matter to me. I’ll always return to you. I don’t care what you do or where you go, as long as we’re together. As long as you are mine, and I am yours …” He swooped forward and gave her a soft kiss. She returned his kiss, her hand rising to scrape through his beard.
After they broke apart, she stared at him a long moment. “I don’t care that you have a limp. I don’t care if you lose a limb,” she whispered. “You returned to me, and you’re here.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “I’m not making sense.” She took a deep breath. “Never call yourself a cripple again, Philip.”
“What was that all about, Maggie?” he asked, his hands fisted on his thighs, so he didn’t reach forward to grab hold of her again. “You hurt me, and I don’t understand why.”
She reached forward and clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders. “I told my mum and sisters that I would be content, if we were like brother and sister.” She stared into his incredulous gaze. “I know that to be a lie.” She fought a smile, as he let out a relieved breath before she sobered.
“I spoke with Mr. A.J.,” she said in the merest of whispers. “He made me see that I’m not very good at being loved.”
Dunmore’s gaze glowed with understanding. “Oh, beloved,” he breathed. “Just as you love me, no matter what happened to me while I was away, limb or no limb, limp or no limp, I will love you, Maggie. Whatever happened.”
She stared at him, as though transfixed by what she saw in his gaze, her eyes filling with tears. “You need to know what happened. What I did.”
He nodded. “I do. I’ll wait until you’re ready to tell me.”
She stroked a hand down his arm and then pushed herself to standing. “I’ll never be ready, but I need to speak of it. It’s like a tumor, eating away inside me, ruining everything good.” She gazed at him and held out her hand, a sigh of relief escaping when he rose and clasped her hand.
She stared at him for long minutes, gazing deeply into his eyes, seeing only his steadfast devotion and love. “How do I deserve you?” she whispered, a moment before she took
