I was sure there would be people who would think I was mad. Hilary had said that to me. She’d called me insane. Well, if I was insane, it had all been her fault. It had been her who had pushed me over the edge, so she would get all she deserved. It was all very sad, but they wouldn’t be missed.
I sat back, relaxing on a very comfortable sofa that came with the grooms’ apartment. There was no rush, of course, it’s not like they had somewhere to go. I had to spend a bit of time, enjoying their discomfort. I’d try to remember to feed them, I had some loaves of bread I was leaving out to go stale and they had plenty of water from the trough that was down there. Yes, the water was a bit murky, but that was seriously the least of their concerns.
Oh, if only I could be bothered to move, but this was so comfortable. I rather fancied another glass of whisky and maybe even some toast and butter.
29
Maintaining Momentum
“Amanda?”
I snapped to attention.
“Were you even listening? I told you we need to have another…” Inspector Simmonds stopped speaking. “I’m sorry. How thoughtless of me, has there still been no news?”
“I’m sorry, Adele. No, there’s been no news. I apologise, you were saying?”
“I wish I could do something more to help. It can’t be easy for you, what with it being in the papers now.”
That had been a shock. Jacqueline had rung me from Cumbria in tears, asking ‘Was it true?’ I’d asked her what she meant and the story had come out, one of the livery customers had come in with a tabloid newspaper and there was the story ‘Murderer’s wife missing, presumed dead.’ What could I tell her? The staff were beside themselves; it had been almost two weeks now since Kate had left. First Adam in prison and now Kate missing. They were doing their best, keeping things going, but they were young and scared, and honestly, so was I.
I’d tried to reassure her that Kate would be okay, that she wasn’t dead. But I’d struggled to sound convincing. Jacqueline had asked what they should do? They were rudderless and upset. Here I was miles away, unable to help. I’d never felt so desperate.
I told Adele about the phone call and the girls running the riding school by themselves. I sighed. Without warning Adele opened her arms, stepping towards me and grasping me in a warm hug.
“Look. Amanda, you need more time. I’ll sign off some more special leave. Go and help those poor girls at least keep the yard running until she comes back.”
“But I’d be letting you down…” I sniffed, without thinking I placed my head on her shoulder. She reached up, touching my hair softly.
“Don’t be a silly girl! Amanda, I admire your loyalty but the Wiltshire Constabulary can survive without you for a while. I don’t think you realise what an amazing job you’ve done here. What you have achieved has set us on our way to having an exceptional mounted branch again. But right now, young lady, your skills are needed elsewhere. You’ll be back soon enough and, yes, we will miss you, but for now, those poor girls need you more than we do. Do you understand?”
I sniffed, nodding, my head still nestled into her shoulder.
* * *
“Dan, will you be okay?”
“Mandy, I can look after myself. It’s you I’m worried about. Don’t try and do too much, you need to think of yourself as much as everyone else. That has always been your problem, you would try to solve the issues of the world given half a chance.” He hugged me tightly.
“I just want to help people.”
“I know you do Mandy and Inspector Simmons was right about what she said about you. I don’t think you realise quite how much respect she has for you.”
“What? When did she speak to you? What did she say?”
“Well, your Inspector called me at work earlier today. She wanted to make sure I was looking after you properly and reiterate how important, no, how special you are to the Force, her words not mine. Although I do tend to agree. Let’s just say she made it abundantly clear you were really important to everyone in the mounted branch and they would support you with whatever you needed to do and she very much expected me to do the same. It was clear this was more of an order from a senior officer than a polite request from a friend. I have to say, Mandy, she is a pretty formidable woman!”
I couldn’t help but giggle. Adele was much older than me, she had been close to retirement age before being brought in from the Metropolitan Police mounted branch to help Wiltshire set up their own equine section. She was a naturally strong woman both physically and mentally having spent many years in a male-oriented force and was not someone to be argued with. She would still muck out and groom to support the stable staff and was totally fair and without bias. She just had a way of getting things done.
She had always been friendly to me, yet had been somewhat distant in a professional way. Her hugging me earlier had seemed totally unusual, it was unexpected. The first time she had crossed the line into a public display of such emotion. However, it had been strangely comforting. I’d closed my eyes as she embraced me with her muscular arms and wondered if this would have been how my mother’s hugs felt.
