To his dismay she shook her head. “Ryan, after all these years this should be private, just the two of you.”
He searched his heart for the strength, but it wasn’t there. Besides, having Maggie with him, since she’d been the one to encourage the search, felt right. “No, I need you to be there. If we’re going to be family, that’s how it should be.”
She stared at him, clearly stunned by the casual mention of a future for the two of them. “Are we? Are we going to be family?”
He was just as shocked that she hadn’t known that that was what they were leading up to, that it was the reason for everything he’d done lately to deal with the past. He was desperately trying to tie up all the loose ends so he could move forward with a clear conscience.
“That’s why I’m doing this,” he explained. “I want to find them all, to make sure that, you know, there are no problems you ought to know about before you marry me.”
“Problems?” she asked, clearly bewildered.
“Illnesses, that kind of thing,” he said, avoiding her gaze.
Maggie sat straight up in bed and regarded him with unmistakable dismay. “You’re looking for them to see if everyone’s healthy?”
“Of course,” he said defensively. “That’s the responsible thing to do.”
“And that’s the only reason?” she asked, disbelief still written all over her face.
“It’s important, dammit!”
“Oh, Ryan,” she whispered, fresh tears tracking down her cheeks. “It shouldn’t be about that.”
And then, to his shock, she climbed out of bed, dragged on her clothes and left the room without so much as a glance in his direction. And somehow, despite the terrible, aching emptiness inside him, he couldn’t find a single word to call her back.
Chapter Fourteen
Ryan didn’t get it. He’d done what Maggie wanted. Maybe he hadn’t found his whole family, but he’d found one of his brothers. That was a start, dammit! What did she want from him? If she was expecting the Devaneys to suddenly turn all warm and fuzzy like the O’Briens—well, it wasn’t going to happen. There was too blasted much water under the bridge for that.
“Ryan, you’ve the look of a man with a lot on his mind,” Father Francis said, sliding onto a stool at the bar. “Anything I can help with?”
“Not unless you can explain the way a woman’s mind works,” Ryan retorted.
Father Francis grinned. “Now that is a mysterious thing,” he agreed. “Are we talking about any woman’s mind, or is it Maggie’s that has you looking as if there’s a dark cloud hanging over your head?”
“Maggie’s, of course.”
“I notice she hasn’t been coming in as regularly as she was,” Father Francis said. “It’s been a few days since her last visit, hasn’t it?”
“Close to a week,” Ryan admitted despondently.
“Have you spoken to her?”
He shook his head. What was the point of calling, when he didn’t know what to say?
Father Francis looked dismayed. “Now there’s your first mistake, it seems to me. Whether he’s right or wrong, a man should take the first step toward making things right.” He gave Ryan a canny look. “Unless, of course, you’re happy with the way things are.”
“No, of course not, but I don’t know the first thing about smoothing this over. I have no idea what Maggie expects. She’s the one who walked out.” It was a disingenuous statement, and Ryan knew it. He knew precisely why Maggie was so furious. She was outraged because he cared more about making sure his family health history was problem free than he did about some phony family reunion.
Father Francis studied him intently. “She left without giving you any clue at all about why she was upset?” the priest asked doubtfully. “That doesn’t sound like Maggie.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” Ryan asked edgily.
“No, of course not. Have you thought of asking her to explain, then?”
“It’s not that simple.”
Father Francis clearly wasn’t convinced. “Why, because Maggie won’t be honest?”
“Of course not,” Ryan said at once. “Maggie’s the most honest person I know.”
“Is it because she won’t be able to tell you what’s in her heart?”
Ryan sighed. “No.”
“What then?”
“It’s because I still won’t be able to give her the answers she wants.”
“About?”
“My family.” Ryan regarded the priest helplessly. “How can I tell her I care about seeing them again, when the truth is that I don’t?”
“Ah, so that’s it,” Father Francis said. “Have you finally decided to search for them, then? I imagine Maggie’s had a hand in helping you reach that decision. Are you not comfortable with it now that you’ve made it? Are you considering backing down?”
“Too late for that,” Ryan said wryly. “Actually, Jack Reilly’s been looking for a while now. He’s found one of my brothers—Sean, the one two years younger than me, which would make him about thirty now.”
The old man’s face lit up. “That’s brilliant news. Have you seen him?”
“I can see that your expectations are the same as Maggie’s,” Ryan said. “You’re expecting me to be overjoyed.”
“And you’re not?”
“I’m just looking for answers.”
“What sort of answers? You do realize that if he was younger than you, Sean may not have the answers you need. Unless he’s found your parents, it’s unlikely he knows what went wrong.”
Ryan shook his head. “That’s not it at all. I want to be sure everyone’s in good health, so if Maggie and I ever decide to marry and have a family, I won’t be unwittingly passing any hereditary conditions along to our children.”
Father Francis sighed heavily. “I imagine this is because of Lamar,” he said. “And you told this to Maggie, that your search is all about genetics?”
“Yes,” Ryan admitted.
The priest gave him a pitying look. “It’s a wonder she didn’t take a skillet to your head. I’m thinking of it myself,” he said with disgust. “You clearly know how to rob a moment of its meaning.”
“If you’re trying to accuse me of not being a sentimental jerk, then you’re
