They had been intimate for some time now. Certainly, he cared for her above anyone else in the world. He loved her dearly and wanted her as his wife.
Did she now feel the same? Did she want him for her husband? Or was she as unwavering as she had always been? How he wanted to break the stone tomb she had enclosed around her heart into a million pieces.
"Do not forget to dance a set with Miss Scottsdale, Lord Melvin. She has not been able to keep her attention from turning to you all supper. I think you have won her over already with your charm."
The duchess turned to her daughter before looking for Miss Scottsdale. "Are you certain that Lord Melvin wants to dance with Miss Scottsdale? You ought to be sure your matchmaking is wanted before pursuing it," she said, a look of apology on her face at her daughter's words.
"Lord Melvin knows that I have nothing but his best interests at heart."
Albert inwardly swore, having the answer to his question delivered without asking the awkward question at all.
How he wished Armstrong was alive so he could pummel the bastard to a pulp. Punish the rake for the hurt he caused Victoria, and the hurt against him should he not be able to win her hand after everything that they shared due to his misbegotten ways.
Victoria heard the words spilling from her mouth, yet she could not wrench them back, no matter how hard she tried. Miss Scottsdale was a sweet young lady, that was true, and she appeared quite taken with Albert. Still, after all that they had done together these past weeks, only half an hour before in the library, how could she request that of Albert?
She was the worst of people. He ought to shove her aside, tell her to cry off, and leave him alone. And yet, he never did.
He was too good for her, not by society standards, but moral ones. She was a vixen, a tease, some may say. Was her mother, right? Would she become scandalous and have a name of ill repute? When had she fallen so low?
Each time she suggested a lady to Albert, she read in his eyes the hurt. The continual disappointment that her words wrought within him. She was hurting him, and she hated that she did.
The remainder of the ball went remarkably well, considering her heart was no longer in the mood for dancing or conversing. All she wished for was to return to Rosedale, or maybe even Dunsleigh.
This game they were playing had gone on long enough, and no one was the winner. She needed to speak to Albert, and in the morning, she would. They could not continue to be together so intimately without consequence. She was not ready to give him her heart. Maybe she never would be. Victoria stood beside Josh, listening as he spoke of Lady Sophie, whom he seemed to be disappointed in for whatever reason, and watched Albert dance with Miss Scottsdale.
For Albert to find a wife, to move forward in his life, she could no longer be around him. He needed to form an attachment with another, and if they could not keep their hands off each other, their physical desires overpowering the rules of etiquette, then she had to go.
She had to leave Hampshire. England if she could manage it.
And sooner rather than later.
Chapter 32
Albert had no time to hide the pages he'd been writing when a knock sounded on the door at his hunting lodge the following morning. Victoria poked her head about the wood, a small smile on her supple lips. Although there was a concern, a cloud of worry in her eyes that gave him pause.
He sat there, unable to move and unsure what to do should his hasty filing away of his work cause interest from her. Make her question what he was doing at his lodge all times of the day and night.
Instead, he stood, coming over to her and leading her away from his desk and the words that a keen reader and lover of Elbert Retsek would distinguish.
"Victoria, I did not think you would come here today. I thought you may still be abed after the late night we all endured from the ball.”
She cast a curious glance at his desk but did not ask, merely let him lead her over to the settee, the very one he'd given her pleasure on. He pushed the memory from his mind, sensing she did not come here to find release in his arms but some other quest. Was she about to admit to having feelings toward him? He hoped that was the case. He wanted nothing more than to be hers from now and forever. The idea of not having Victoria in his life was unfathomable.
She sat on the many cushions and throw blankets, looking lost and a little unsure of herself.
He sat beside her, silent and waiting.
"I owe you an apology, Albert. I acted atrociously last evening. After what we did in the library, to ask you to dance with Miss Scottsdale was unforgivable. I've been throwing every eligible young lady at your head since we started your lessons. At the same time, I have been getting in the way of your progress by being intimate with you. I hope you're able to forgive my abominable behavior, and you can move forward with your desire for marriage, but with someone of your choosing, not mine."
Albert slumped back in the chair, staring at the ceiling, praying for patience. How had he allowed this charade to carry on for so long? How could she not see it was her that he wanted, not Miss Scottsdale, Miss Eberhardt, or Lady Sophie. None of them.
"Victoria, as much as I enjoy our lessons, God knows they've been enjoyable," he added, throwing her a rue smile. "I have concluded that I
