He lifted himself off the seat and crossed back to his.
Distance. That’s what he needed. But the carriage was dreaded small.
Chapter Five
Avery looked about the tiny room that Noah had procured as candles flickered about. They’d driven, mostly in silence, until the sky had grown dark and then had stopped for dinner, also a silent affair, and then procured rooms. Noah had shown her to this room and then with a frown, left, clomping back down the stairs.
She’d like to ask what was happening, but she refused to break the standoff that had developed between them.
Still, something was amiss, and she itched to know what.
When the doorknob rattled a minute later, she almost smiled. He’d decided to tell her. Good. It was likely time they ended the silence, it would be a long drive if it continued and, truth be told, she’d missed his conversation in their little battle to remain quiet.
Besides being handsome, he was…interesting. He put her at ease and he…well…she found their sparring fun.
Avery was finding a voice for the first time in her life and she liked it. Very much.
He came back through the door, a fierce scowl on his face. Perhaps that furious look should frighten her, but it didn’t. “What’s wrong?”
The scowl deepened. “This is the only room they have available and my driver is fast asleep.”
Her mouth parted as her eyes widened. “He did drive through the night last night. He must be exhausted.”
“He did and he likely is,” Noah confessed. “Which is why I didn’t have the heart to wake him.”
Avery attempted to hide her smile at that. Underneath his scowl was a kind man. “So where does that leave us?”
“Sharing this room,” he said, spreading his arms wide. “Of course, the bed is dreadfully small, but we’ve already slept tangled—”
“No,” she bit out, interrupting him. That knot of dread filled her stomach again. While she’d wished for a truce, sharing a bed was not a truce it was…a giant mistake.
He quirked a brow, giving her a stare that made her toes curl in her boots. “I thought you wanted to be ruined by a rake.”
Why did that actually sound good? She gave her head a little shake. Because getting ruined was her actual plan. That must be the reason. Not that she found him interesting, exciting and comforting all in one man. “I meant that by leaving with you and being seen, the deed would be done. I mean…that is to say…not the actual deed but…” She trailed off again, her mind all jumbled.
How did he keep doing that?
He moved closer. “What do you know about the actual deed?”
She shook her head. They were actually going to discuss this? “Isabella and Eliza said…” But she couldn’t finish. Because she’d seen the outline of Noah’s shaft and she’d gotten enough of an earful from her cousins to know what his staff was for.
He stopped, close enough to touch her, but he didn’t. His hands remained at his sides. “If your plan is to be ruined, then it’s not to marry. Do you intend to abstain from physical relationships with men?”
Why had she not thought of any of this before? “I…”
Then his hands reached up and gripped her arms. There was a tension that hadn’t been there before, and her gaze snapped to his. “Has a man hurt you?”
“Hurt me?” she asked, her gaze rising up to meet his. “I’ve already told you my father was a terrible man.”
“But physically, did he touch you?” Noah’s voice had dropped dangerously low, and for the first time since she’d met him, she was just a touch scared.
“He was free with a hand across the face.” But the truth was, his cuts were more mental than physical.
Noah pulled her against his chest and suddenly she was being crushed by a wall of muscle. “Good.”
“Good?” she asked her voice muffled by his coat.
He cleared his throat. “Isabella told you that a man puts his…”
“Yes,” she replied, squeezing her eyes shut. That was dratted uncomfortable.
“Well sometimes, a man forces a woman to do that.”
“Oh.” She tipped back to look at him. “No. No one has ever forced me to do anything like that.”
“That’s a relief,” he said with a shadow of a smile. “But that doesn’t explain why you wish to be ruined.”
“Because I don’t wish to marry,” she answered simply. “Don’t take it personally. It’s not that I don’t want to marry you. It’s that I don’t want to marry anyone.”
His smile grew wider. “I won’t. But as a woman, what other choice do you have?”
She shrugged. “I could work. I like to sew, and I’m good at embroidery. I could make dresses.”
“A modiste?” he asked, quirking a brow. “That’s why you don’t wish to be a countess? You’re going to be a dressmaker instead?”
Her idea did sound a bit ridiculous. “Try to understand. My father, he didn’t allow me to make a single decision.”
He cupped her cheeks as he looked down at her. “Oh. I see.”
“Really?” she asked.
He nodded. “You want choice, and Bash and I took that away from you.”
She frowned. That wasn’t exactly it. Honestly, it was that she’d already made her choice, but she didn’t tell him that. “What are we going to do about the bed?”
He quirked a brow. “You’ve run away with a rake, madame, that you’ve no intention of marrying. You will do what all young women would do in this situation and—”
“Noah.” She placed her hands on his chest, pushing back. “I’m not allowing you to put your…” she pointed down, “in my…”
He smiled, a wicked grin that had her insides curling in the most delicious way. “I have no intention of actually ruining you, sweet Avery. Though if you’re going to take credit for the crime…” His grin grew even wider. “I just meant that we’ll share the bed. I think we slept quite nicely together in the carriage, I don’t see why we can’t do it again.”
She sighed. Because she was tired, and he was
