He itched to pull her close, back against his side, but if he did, he wouldn’t stop there. “We should try and fall back to sleep. Tomorrow will be another long day.”
“It will,” she murmured, and then closed her eyes.
For several long seconds, he let his eyes rove up and down her body, taking in the swell of her breasts, the flatness of her stomach, and allowing his eyes to travelled higher to the slender column of her neck, the swoop of her jaw. Then he closed his eyes too. But he knew that sleep was very far away.
Chapter Six
The next day, Avery peeked over the top of her embroidery at Noah as they rumbled along the rutted dirt road. He sat stretched out, pretending to be asleep. No man could slumber with the carriage bouncing so.
Not that she didn’t appreciate the ruse. She didn’t really wish to talk with him either. Last night had been…
Difficult.
Wonderful.
She let out a tiny sigh. She’d been half asleep still when she’d started to share the dream, or she wouldn’t have said as much as she did. But she’d been awake enough to leave several key points out of her retelling.
Like the way they’d been without clothing in the dream or the ache that had pooled between her legs as she’d slept.
It had been wickedly delightful.
Avery had to confess that when she’d decided she’d not marry, she’d never actually been attracted to a man. Not once in her life and so it didn’t really seem as though she were giving up much. To her, if she could keep herself housed and fed, becoming a spinster was all for the best. No man to tell her what to do, no man to spend all her money and take all her possessions, no man to devalue her worth.
But she’d failed to consider that some men might actually be enjoyable to spend time with. And that touching that sort of man…
That place between her legs ached again.
“What’s wrong?” Noah asked, his eyes still closed.
“Nothing,” she replied far too quickly. Taking a breath, she tried again. “Why would you think something was wrong?”
“Because.” He didn’t sit up. Didn’t even open his eyes. “Your needle has been working at the exact same speed for the last two hours and it just slowed to a crawl.”
Her cheeks heated. How had he picked up on that? When had he become so in touch with her rhythm? “I’ve gotten to a difficult point in the embroidery and needed to slow down and think,” she lied.
“Hmmm,” he said as he opened his eyes and sat up.
She’d begun work on his pocket square. Though she’d told him yesterday she shouldn’t do such an intimate project, the shop in the town where they’d stayed the previous night hadn’t a wide variety of colors and she needed something to keep her hands busy as they travelled. She’d chosen an off-white thread and had begun stitching a diamond pattern along the edges of the small cloth.
She started working again, determined not to answer any more questions.
Avery had hoped he’d pretend to fall back to sleep, instead, he continued to stare at her as she worked.
“Can you talk as you embroider?” he asked as he crossed his legs at the ankle, stretching them out as far as the carriage would allow.
“Of course,” she answered. Then she smiled. “Though my father never knew that. I would use the work as an excuse to keep from answering his tirades.”
She stopped again, surprised that she’d just shared that. It wasn’t that the memory hurt, it was just that she so rarely discussed her father. But now that she’d started with Noah, it was as though the words just tumbled out.
“Did it work?”
“Marvelously,” she said as she started working again. She was halfway around the pocket square and quite pleased with the pattern. She’d finish by placing his initials in one corner. Now that she’d begun, she had to confess, relief filled her heart. She’d leave his company when this was all over, and this would give him something to remember her by.
She looked up at him again, his hazel eyes were locked on hers. Would a man’s gaze ever feel like his again?
Every time their eyes met, breathless excitement filled her. Would he know that when she was gone? Feel it somehow in these stitches?
“A weaker person than you might have crumbled under his tyranny.”
Avery noted that while the rest of his body looked relaxed, a muscle ticced in his jaw. She shook her head. Was he angry on her behalf? That was so sweet and wonderful but not necessary. She’d survived and now she was at the point in her life where all the choices were hers, if he let her go. “But I didn’t.” She set the embroidery to the side. “Enough about me. Tell me more about Lily.”
He sat up then, pain etched in the tightness of his face. “I’d rather not.”
She swallowed. What would it be like to have a family member who loved you that deeply? “Why don’t you tell me the good things?”
The contours of his face softened. “When I first became the earl, I was completely overwhelmed. Seventeen and in charge of all that land, all those people.” He sighed. “She’d sit next to me at night, after I’d worked for hours on ledgers and correspondence, and she’d tell me how wonderful I was. How strong, how capable. I knew she had no idea if I was any good at it or not, but just hearing the words made me feel better. I don’t know how I would have gotten through that first year without her.”
Avery winced. No wonder he made her so comfortable. He understood how to bolster another person. “You were lucky to have her.”
He shook his head. “I was. If only I’d returned that favor.”
“What do you mean?” Her heart squeezed in her chest.
“She wasn’t lucky to have me. I failed her.”
Avery
