He pulled back. That had not been the kiss of a rake. It was not meant to seduce, though it had been filled with his passion. The light touch had been meant to heal. “You don’t want to marry me, that’s fine,” he rasped. “I likely went about this all wrong.”
She stared down at him, her brown eyes shining with longing and a bit of pain.
“But don’t purposefully ruin yourself. Keep your options open. You want choices, remember? Why close off the chance of marriage? Leave it as a choice.” He hated himself as the words left his mouth. Just like with Lily, Noah was taking Avery’s choices away. There would be no chance to find a man who could truly love her, no possibility of a life of freedom. There would only be him. A man who was too broken to give her his love.
Her mouth opened and then closed. Then opened again. Then, instead of answering, she buried her face into his shoulder and, damn it all to hell, if a shuddering sob didn’t reverberate through her body into his.
He wrapped his arms tightly about her again. She deserved so much. Allowing her a good cry was the least he could do.
If he weren’t a man, he might cry too. Because he now understood that he’d stolen another woman’s future.
Chapter Seven
By the evening, they still had not arrived at Noah’s home, so they decided to spend another night at an inn.
And while Avery had been more than glad to leave the carriage, her cramped legs barely carrying her into the establishment, the moment they stepped through the creaking door, it seemed as though the stop had been a mistake.
First, because the front room was so crowded it took a quarter hour for the innkeeper to even notice them. Then, because a group of loud ruffians in the corner were making enough noise that Noah could hardly tell the innkeeper his requests.
It was times like these that Avery didn’t mind the veil.
She’d determined to live her life without fear but there were occasions where male behavior unsettled her.
It was too much like the men her father had cavorted with. She knew, from experience, that men of a certain ilk tended to act irrationally, especially when drinking, and that made them dangerous.
Nothing had ever happened to her, but she remembered being very afraid a few times.
Once, she’d been asked to sit in on a dinner for her father’s associates. A man, a Mr. Taber, had leered at her the entire meal.
Toward the end, he’d leaned over and pinched her arm, his breath reeking of the wine he’d drunk. “Is this one available for marriage,” he’d loudly asked. “Or a test run?”
The other men had cackled as fear had skittered down her spine. She’d looked to her father. Surely, he’d step in on her behalf? She knew he didn’t value her, but it was an insult to him too…
Another man had piped up, grasping her wrist. “The boss wants us to marry into the Carrington Shipping family. Mayhap, I want this one…”
“My daughter is not part of the shipping company,” her father had replied. He didn’t admonish the men in any way. She stared at him, the blood draining from her face. “As to a match for Mr. Taber, we’ve already chosen Eliza Carrington, remember?”
Taber grunted, finally letting go of her arm. “I’d forgotten.” Then he’d sneered. “And truth be told, that cousin of yours is even prettier than you.”
She’d stood then. She didn’t give a fig who was prettier. And she’d worry about Eliza, but no one was better at caring for herself than her cousin. “Papa, I think I shall retire?”
He’d given a single nod and she had rushed to her room, a footman escorting her until her door had been locked and barred. They’d never spoken about the incident, and she’d no idea how he’d felt about their behavior, but she’d never been asked to another dinner, thank the lord.
These men here at the inn reminded her of that night. They were drunk, crude, and loud, and she’d like to make her way upstairs as quickly as possible.
“May we dine in our rooms?” she asked Noah over the din of noise as she touched his elbow. She’d like to quit the tavern and not return, but touching him made her feel a bit better.
He gave a single nod as he tried to negotiate with the innkeeper. In the meantime, she tucked herself closer to him. Noah had gone to great lengths to remove her from London. Surely he’d keep her safe now?
For a brief moment, she wondered what she might do out on her own. While her father had said little in her defense, his position had protected her that night just as Noah’s did now.
He’d asked her to keep the option of marriage open.
In this moment, she was inclined to agree.
And if she were honest, she appreciated that he’d broached the subject on her terms. He hadn’t demanded or insisted. He’d talked about what was important to her, choices and options.
He’d listened, understood her problems, and offered her solutions that fit her. The idea of marrying him offered her more freedom than she’d ever been given, and she appreciated him more than she could possibly say.
“And we’d like our meal upstairs, please,” Noah added.
She dipped her head in appreciation. Over and over, he listened to her needs without questioning her.
“Do you see how busy we are?” the innkeeper grunted back. “I don’t see why you can’t eat down here.”
“It’s very loud,” Noah replied, his shoulders straightening and his voice ringing with authority. But he said the words just as there was a lull in the noise and several heads turned toward them, especially from the table in the corner.
“Who you callin’ loud?” one of them grunted back.
Noah didn’t respond as he grabbed
