Making her way downstairs, she found Noah already in the breakfast room. He gave her a smile, but somehow, it was cooler, more reserved than the man she’d fallen asleep with the night before. Her stomach fluttered with nerves, but she pushed the feelings back down.
“Good morning,” she said with a falsely bright smile plastered on her face. “How did you sleep?”
“Very well,” he replied, as his gaze returned to the newspaper he’d been reading. “And you?”
She crossed to the buffet, filling a plate with food though her stomach churned in such a way that she doubted she would be able to eat. Why was she so nervous? This man had held her in his arms. He’d already proposed.
But every time they grew close, something seemed to come between them again. That unease churning in her belly intensified. What was between them this morning? How did she ask?
She looked at him again, his nose buried in The Times.
“Do you remember that first day in the carriage?” she asked as she took her seat. She balled her hands into fists in her lap as she took several fortifying gulps of air.
“Of course,” he replied, still looking at his paper. She had the urge to pluck it from his hand just to make him look at her.
“I accused you of not answering my questions. Of withholding information…”
He snapped the paper shut. Well, first goal successfully accomplished. His gaze snapped to hers, drawn in tight lines of tension. “Avery.”
There was a warning in his voice. She’d only ever heard it when he’d spoken to those men at the inn. “Noah.” She’d not be intimidated by anyone. Especially not him. Not now. Her palms pressed to her thighs as she sat straighter.
“What made you bring that up just now?” he asked.
She drew in a breath. “Because.” Her lips pressed together as she looked into his eyes. They held none of their usual warmth. “You. You keep pulling away and it makes me feel like you’re not telling me something.”
He winced. It was subtle but there it was. He was withholding some important information. “I’m not.”
“Hogwash. What is it?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s not do this.”
“Why not? Ewan is here, he swears we need to marry. Let’s say it all and have it be done.” She ignored the trembling that told her she might regret forcing this issue.
“We. That is you and I…we have to marry.”
She blinked. That was it? That’s what concerned him? Ewan had repeated the sentiment ad nauseam the day before. There must be something else bothering Noah. Was he feeling guilty about last night? “What we did last night. I thought it was beautiful.”
Just a hint of a smile touched his lips then. “It was.”
“And just between us. We’re not obligated to anyone—”
“We are.” He leaned closer then. “That is what you’ve refused to acknowledge this entire time. We always have been.”
Her brow furrowed as her gaze narrowed. But her heart began to hammer in her chest. “What do you mean?”
He raised his head higher. “I made an agreement with Bash. Written. Signed. You are to be my wife.”
Her heart raced in her chest as she stared at him. She’d come here to tell him that she wished to marry him, but the way he’d just declared it showed her she didn’t have a say. She stopped. “I am?”
He pressed his hand to the table. “I know I made it seem like you had a choice.”
“I do have a choice,” she returned, standing. “I am still a person. You can’t force me.”
“You know as well as I do that what you just said isn’t the truth. Not here in this world.”
She shook her head. “I understand this world. Better than most. I lived under my father’s rule, I am aware of how it works. I thought it was different between you and me.”
He had the decency to look down at the table. “I wanted it to be so…for your sake.”
She choked on emotions that welled up in her throat, but she swallowed them back down. “Bash is a reasonable man. He’ll listen to me and he’ll allow us to choose.”
“I already did, Avery. For better or worse, I chose you.” But he didn’t look happy at all, in fact, he appeared completely miserable. “And Bash has chosen too. The moment he allowed me to take you away, the choice was made. There is no undoing it now.”
“You chose me last night?” She knew the moment the question left her mouth, she didn’t really want the answer. He’d already said it wasn’t the case, but she needed to hear his explicit response.
“No. I chose you the moment I signed the contract.”
She stood. “Well, I didn’t choose you.” That wasn’t entirely true. She actually had. But he’d been misleading her this entire time. He hadn’t been giving her room to decide, he’d been biding his time to make sure she came around to his way of thinking. He’d manipulated her all along. “I would never choose a man who lied to me. Who…”
Her words stopped short as another voice chimed in behind her. “Lied?”
Ewan.
Drat. She turned to look at her cousin. She had no patience for an interloper now. “If you please. This is a private conversation.”
“Ye’re an unmarried woman. Ye don’t have private conversations.”
She huffed a breath. “We’ve done just fine without you, thank you very much. If you wanted to play the unmarried card, you should have escorted me out of London.”
He grimaced, holding up his hands. “I’ve apologized for not stepping in sooner.”
“No apology necessary.” Her anger was rising like the tide in a storm and she had no patience for a cousin who showed up too little, too late to help her. “Thank goodness you
