“Because I told him a story,” I said. “An extension of the story I used when I first arrived here. I told him I wasn’t a real governess. I told him I was an undercover spy who was here on a secret mission. I came up with it when I saw him playing with his spy toys. He reacted well to it. You saw how well he did after that. I got him to try new things by pretending like he was helping me with my secret mission.”
“And are you a spy?” Traes spat. “Have you been sent here for some kind of corporate espionage?”
“What? No. Of course not.”
“Would you even tell me if you were?”
He was angry and looking for things to get upset about. I was sure I could calm him down with the right words.
“I’m telling you the truth now,” I said. “When I met you and Cleb… and I’ve never felt more at home in my life. I’m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t know you before. The only Titan I knew abused me. I didn’t know other Titans would be kind and decent people. I especially didn’t know I would fall in love with one.”
I reached out a hand to touch his face, to kiss him if he would let me.
He blocked my hand, shook his head, and turned away.
“So what story did you tell Cleb in town?” he said.
“I told him Asshole—sorry, that’s the name I use for the kidnapper because I don’t know his real name—was a bad spy.”
“You lied to him too?”
He looked disgusted with me and couldn’t even bear to look at me. He turned back to the fireplace and stared into it even though it wasn’t lit.
“My sister made me the godfather of her only son,” Traes said. “He was the most important possession she had. I guess she thought I would make a good godfather because I had enough money to provide well for him. I’m not saying I was perfect—far from it. But at least I could give him a good start in life. He would never want for anything.”
“You’ll be a great godfather.”
“Do you know how his parents died?”
“I thought they died in an accident?”
“It was anything but an accident. It took me a long time to learn the truth. And at considerable expense. It turns out my darling sister and her loser husband were gamblers. They couldn’t pay their debts and the sharks came calling. My sister could have asked me for the money but she was too proud. That was probably why she asked me to be Cleb’s godfather. She knew one day she would be in that position.
“I’ve been working to cover it up ever since,” he said. “Nobody knows the truth. Except for me, and now you. Cleb will never learn the truth about his parents and neither will anyone else. I’ll be his shield. I’ll protect him. Including from you. And I almost lost him because of you. I won’t let that happen again.”
His tone was hard as steel, just like the first time we met in his study. The warmth that’d grown toward me was now gone, replaced with ice-cold calm.
“What are you saying?” I said.
My emotions were pent up and ready to burst like a dam.
He raised his eyes and caught mine.
“I’m saying, I don’t want you in Cleb’s life anymore,” he said. “Or mine. I’ll pay for your ticket home. I never want to see you again.”
The cold stark bluntness struck me full in the chest. I thought I’d be ready for them. I thought I could withstand the barrage. I thought I was ready for whatever he had to throw at me, but I couldn’t stand this.
He turned away from me and faced the mantelpiece. I’d been dismissed. He wanted me to leave and never come back.
I moved to step away, to head upstairs and pack my things, but I couldn’t move. I stood still, unsure of where to go or what to do.
My mouth moved to speak but no words came out. My emotions ran high, then dry. One moment I was angry, the next disappointed. Then I was glad I’d told the truth. Regret featured heavily. I feared I might carry it for the rest of my life.
I backed away, hustled out of the room, and ran up the stairs. A handful of servants greeted me with warm smiles and open arms.
“Sorry,” I said. “I need to… My room… Sorry.”
I ran past them, got to my room, and slammed the door shut behind me. I turned the lock, not wishing to be disturbed. I dug out my fancy S’mauggai bag and stuffed it with clothes. The world turned blurry and finally, unable to see what I was even putting in my bag, I stopped and let the tears cascade. I grabbed the bag and hurled it across the room.
I ran my hands through my hair. I gripped it in my fists and screamed.
I sank to the floor and sobbed.
I packed the rest of my meager possessions and took a long shower. I kept turning it off to listen to the door. I thought I heard someone knocking. No one did. I hoped it would be Traes coming to give me a second chance.
But he never did.
When I emerged from my room, the hallways were empty.
I went to Cleb’s door and listened intently. If Traes was inside, I didn’t want to be there. After about five minutes, I determined he wasn’t inside and entered.
Cleb was still in bed, recovering from the adventure the night before. Someone had washed and dressed him in fresh pajamas. He was in a deep sleep.
It was probably a good thing he was asleep. I didn’t think I could face whatever emotions he would throw my way.
I sat on the edge of his bed and gently ran my fingertips through his hair the way he liked. He mumbled something in his sleep, turned to face
