Now, though, we were sixteen and seventeen, and being seen at the fair with our father was absolutely not done. We were here without my father for the first time. He’d fretted, but in the end had agreed that Beth could drive us in the family station wagon to meet the Paisley brothers.
I stood in line at the booster club’s burger stand with Beth and the Paisley boys. Smoke from the grilled meat wafted into the warm summer air and intermingled with dust kicked up from the hundreds of people traipsing through the fairgrounds. I loved this scent of summer, along with river water drying on rocks, coconut sunscreen, my mother’s roses, and Dad’s charcoal grill. These were the staples of my young world.
The line for overly priced and mediocre food was long, and my stomach rumbled with hunger. Beth, me, and the three Paisley brothers huddled together as the line inched forward slowly. I didn’t care. I’d stand here next to Cole Paisley the rest of my life if I could.
Cole Paisley. My confidant and best friend. The person I could tell anything to except for the most important thing. Athletic and bronzed with wavy hair that curled just right at the nape of his neck. Eyes the color of the river in the winters, somewhere between green and gray. Lover of books. The object of my undying yet unreciprocated love. Since we were eight years old, Cole and his twin brother, Drew, had been the center of my heart.
“Carlie, what do you want?” Luke Paisley draped an arm around my sister’s shoulders. “My treat. I got my paycheck today.” Luke and my sister were going to be seniors when school started next week. The high school quarterback and the head cheerleader were the envy of every kid in town. Golden-haired and tanned, they fit together like two genetically blessed bookends.
“I’ll have french fries,” I said, smiling shyly at Luke. “But Dad sent us with money. He told me to tell you that you’re not to blow your hard-earned cash on my sister.”
“Your dad’s the best.” Luke smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. Mr. Paisley was not the best or anywhere near it. The bruises on the boys’ backs and arms were proof of that.
“What do you want, doll?” Luke asked Beth.
“Nothing. I feel kind of off.” Beth glanced at me, then quickly looked away. A jolt of alarm charged through me. Something was wrong. My sister never turned down the chance to have a milkshake and fries. She liked to dip the fries in the blended ice cream. Our mother was the kind who didn’t like for us to have desserts. Her idea of a sweet was dates rolled in sesame seeds or carob oatmeal balls. We looked forward to fairground junk food all year.
“Do you feel sick?” I asked my sister.
“My stomach’s bothering me.” Beth twisted a strand of her hair around one finger. She always did this when she was nervous or upset.
An ominous dread crept up my spine. I shook it off. Mom always said I had too much imagination for my own good. That’s why I had to have a lamp on at night even though I was practically grown. In the dark, I could swear there were bugs on the walls. When I turned on the lights, though, it was only the purple flower pattern of the wallpaper.
“You want to sit down?” Luke asked Beth. “I can bring you something.”
Beads of perspiration dotted Beth’s perfect nose. “No, I’m fine.”
“Are you warm?” I asked.
“A little, yeah,” Beth said.
“Maybe you’re dehydrated,” Drew said. Cole’s identical twin brother stuffed his hands into the back pockets of his 501s and squinted at Beth from under his fringe of dark blond hair. “Coach Richards says that can make you feel sick to your stomach.”
Not many could tell the twins apart. They were constantly being mistaken for the other. But not by me. Yes, they were unnervingly similar. However, I could tell them apart just like that. I’d been able to from the first day they stumbled into Logan Bend Elementary School in second grade. It wasn’t their appearances that differed but their insides. They shared athleticism, but Cole was gentler and quieter than his outgoing, fun-spirited brother. Cole liked to work with wood and assisted his mother in her garden. Drew preferred social activities. In the hallway or lunchroom at school, he was almost always at the center of the sound of laughter. I adored all three of the Paisley brothers. But it was Cole I loved. Until last summer, when I suddenly realized I was in love with him, I’d thought he was just my favorite person. Now, though, I knew. He was the only one I wanted. Probably forever and ever.
“I might be dehydrated,” Beth said, faintly. “Luke, will you get me some water when you order for us?”
“You got it, doll.” Luke’s eyes were the same color as his brothers’, but his hair was a lighter shade of yellow and he wasn’t as thickly built. He was light on his feet and whip-smart. One day he would be a doctor. I felt certain of it.
“What happened to your glasses?” Cole asked.
“Glasses?” I asked, not understanding the question.
“I mean, why aren’t you wearing them? Can you see?” Cole asked as he peered at me. Fringed with dark lashes, his eyes had the power to make my stomach do cartwheels.
I could see all right, and Cole happened to be my favorite sight.
“Did you lose them?” Drew asked. “I lost my retainer, and my mom had a total cow.”
“No one wants to hear about your disgusting retainer,” Cole said.
Drew grinned and tapped his teeth with his fingers. “But look at these beauties. I have to
