“The entry wound made it seem like a suicide. That’s what was in the autopsy. I never physically placed my hands on the gun and my prints on his hands made it seem as though I was stopping him from killing himself. That’s what I told the police…and Marcus said the same. We made a pact that if he forever concealed the truth, I would support him financially and he could work at my company when he graduated. That’s why he’s always held this leverage over me, because we both need each other. I killed my father. I killed him because if not he would have killed me. Just like the intruder. I lost myself seeing you like that. I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s the pain that I’m living. I should have handled it differently, but you can’t change your past. I’m not proud of it but it’s who I was those eleven years ago…and who I was in the kitchen.”
Giulio finishes his explanation at the other side of the room. He gives me the distance I pleaded for before, yet his words leave me even more bruised. I need to be strong for my kids and for myself.
My eyes drift to Giulio’s silver gun. I wonder what ran through his head when he decided tonight he was going to claim a second life. It’s too much for me to comprehend. Partly because I can’t see past the emotion in his eyes.
Giulio Giannotti is no longer the powerful businessman every single one of his clients and employees see. With me, the façade has altered. That is what made me fall in love with him seven years ago. It’s the reason I adore his honesty and his openness to be himself.
Honesty.
He has hidden this from me during our entire marriage and separation. He’s hidden this from everybody, but I’m not just an anybody; I’m supposed to be his wife.
Would he have ever told me?
It places so much uncertainty in the water, making me question everything.
“I’m sorry for everything you have suffered. I cannot begin to imagine what you went through. You did not deserve your father’s torment, but we promised not to hide anything. Especially not something as big as murder. That man would have spoken. I wanted justice for Addilyn, not death. It’s too easy how he died. It leaves us with no prospect of getting closer to Addilyn.”
Giulio’s head remains low and it is everything confirmed.
I’ve lost him.
A fool. That is exactly what I am for believing we could make this work. Within this moment I feel nothing. Staring at Giulio reminds me of everything we once were and everything we have just lost. I have tried my best and I know he has too, but maybe our best isn’t good enough. Maybe this is all we can give, all we have inside of us.
Our white flag is burning in violet embers and neither one of us is reaching to save it because we both know what it represents…
This is where it ends.
“What are we going to do about that man?”
“I will handle it,” Giulio promises. “We don’t need to go to the police.”
“Are you insane? That man was our only hope of getting further in the investigation. He may have spoken with the detectives, he may have helped in a way that—”
“No!” Giulio cuts me off in the midst of tears. “Did you want him to kill you?”
“MAYBE IT WOULD’VE MADE THIS SIMPLER!”
“OUR KIDS NEED A MOTHER, JUST LIKE I NEEDED ONE!”
My heart breaks.
Again and again and again.
I’m scared the kids will wake to hear the shouts between us. Giulio and I continue standing here, face to face as I suck in a brave breath. “Do we need to change our custody agreement?”
It lights the fire between us. From here on out, it’s a lethal time bomb, ticking away.
Giulio shakes his head, his lips trembling from the hurt. “No.”
“I need to know you won’t pull an act like this in front of them.”
“You cannot take our kids from me!”
“Frankly, I do not trust you with them anymore!”
There it is.
Everything spills in front of us. Every single flaw, secret, and lie.
I need to look away from Giulio. I don’t know who he is anymore. It’s as if I’ve shot him and the bullet has brushed over every single inch of his body. He’s torn. I’m torn. He’s broken. I’m broken.
We’re not good for each other.
Not now.
“Is this the end? After everything we’ve been through?”
My chest has never clenched this hard for him. Please, no. “It has to be.”
“If you leave with them, it is the end of us.” Giulio’s muscles tense, withholding from breaking down again. “If you take our children away from me, there’s no more faith in us. It’s over.”
“I know it’s over. We were fools to ever think this could ever work again. We’re two broken souls attempting to fix one another. It doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because fixing it doesn’t make it go away forever. Do you really believe in finding Addilyn or is it all just another lie?”
“That is nothing but truth.”
“Give me the keys, Giulio.”
“I’m fine with the kids tonight. You can leave if you don’t want to stay, but…please don’t take them away from me…Please.”
That damn gun between us scares me.
I wish he’d hid it.
I sniffle and glance down at my bloodied silk pajamas.
