X
The only two that in my recollection,
Have sung of Heaven and Hell, or marriage, are
Dante269 and Milton,270 and of both the affection
Was hapless in their nuptials, for some bar
Of fault or temper ruined the connection
(Such things, in fact, it don’t ask much to mar);
But Dante’s Beatrice and Milton’s Eve
Were not drawn from their spouses, you conceive.
XI
Some persons say that Dante meant Theology
By Beatrice, and not a mistress—I,
Although my opinion may require apology,
Deem this a commentator’s fantasy,
Unless indeed it was from his own knowledge he
Decided thus, and showed good reason why;
I think that Dante’s more abstruse ecstatics
Meant to personify the Mathematics.271
XII
Haidée and Juan were not married, but
The fault was theirs, not mine: it is not fair,
Chaste reader, then, in any way to put
The blame on me, unless you wish they were;
Then if you’d have them wedded, please to shut
The book which treats of this erroneous pair,
Before the consequences grow too awful;
’Tis dangerous to read of loves unlawful.
XIII
Yet they were happy—happy in the illicit
Indulgence of their innocent desires;
But more imprudent grown with every visit,
Haidée forgot the island was her Sire’s;
When we have what we like ’tis hard to miss it,
At least in the beginning, ere one tires;
Thus she came often, not a moment losing,
Whilst her piratical papa was cruising.
XIV
Let not his mode of raising cash seem strange,
Although he fleeced the flags of every nation,
For into a Prime Minister but change
His title, and ’tis nothing but taxation;
But he, more modest, took an humbler range
Of Life, and in an honester vocation
Pursued o’er the high seas his watery journey,272
And merely practised as a sea-attorney.
XV
The good old gentleman had been detained
By winds and waves, and some important captures;
And, in the hope of more, at sea remained,
Although a squall or two had damped his raptures,
By swamping one of the prizes; he had chained
His prisoners, dividing them like chapters
In numbered lots; they all had cuffs and collars,
And averaged each from ten to a hundred dollars.
XVI
Some he disposed of off Cape Matapan,
Among his friends the Mainots; some he sold
To his Tunis correspondents, save one man
Tossed overboard unsaleable (being old);
The rest—save here and there some richer one,
Reserved for future ransom—in the hold,
Were linked alike, as, for the common people, he
Had a large order from the Dey of Tripoli.
XVII
The merchandise was served in the same way,
Pieced out for different marts in the Levant,
Except some certain portions of the prey,
Light classic articles of female want,
French stuffs, lace, tweezers, toothpicks, teapot, tray,273
Guitars and castanets from Alicant,
All which selected from the spoil he gathers,
Robbed for his daughter by the best of fathers.
XVIII
A monkey, a Dutch mastiff, a mackaw,274
Two parrots, with a Persian cat and kittens,
He chose from several animals he saw—
A terrier, too, which once had been a Briton’s,
Who dying on the coast of Ithaca,
The peasants gave the poor dumb thing a pittance:
These to secure in this strong blowing weather,
He caged in one huge hamper altogether.
XIX
Then, having settled his marine affairs,
Despatching single cruisers here and there,
His vessel having need of some repairs,
He shaped his course to where his daughter fair
Continued still her hospitable cares;
But that part of the coast being shoal and bare,
And rough with reefs which ran out many a mile,
His port lay on the other side o’ the isle.
XX
And there he went ashore without delay,
Having no custom-house nor quarantine
To ask him awkward questions on the way,
About the time and place where he had been:
He left his ship to be hove down next day,
With orders to the people to careen;
So that all hands were busy beyond measure,
In getting out goods, ballast, guns, and treasure.
XXI
Arriving at the summit of a hill
Which overlooked the white walls of his home,
He stopped.—What singular emotions fill
Their bosoms who have been induced to roam!
With fluttering doubts if all be well or ill—
With love for many, and with fears for some;
All feelings which o’erleap the years long lost,
And bring our hearts back to their starting-post.
XXII
The approach of home to husbands and to sires,
After long travelling by land or water,
Most naturally some small doubt inspires—
A female family’s a serious matter,
(None trusts the sex more, or so much admires—
But they hate flattery, so I never flatter);
Wives in their husbands’ absences grow subtler,
And daughters sometimes run off with the butler.
XXIII
An honest gentleman at his return
May not have the good fortune of Ulysses;
Not all lone matrons for their husbands mourn,
Or show the same dislike to suitors’ kisses;
The odds are that he finds a handsome urn
To his memory—and two or three young misses
Born to some friend, who holds his wife and riches—
And that his Argus275—bites him by the breeches.
XXIV
If single, probably his plighted Fair
Has in his absence wedded some rich miser;
But all the better, for the happy pair
May quarrel, and, the lady growing wiser,
He may resume his amatory care
As cavalier servente, or despise her;
And that his sorrow may not be a dumb one,
Writes odes on the Inconstancy of Woman.
XXV
And oh! ye gentlemen who have already
Some chaste liaison of the kind—I mean
An honest friendship with a married lady—
The only thing of this sort ever seen
To last—of all connections the most steady,
And the true Hymen, (the first’s but a screen)—
Yet, for all that, keep not too long away—
I’ve known the absent wronged four times a day.276
XXVI
Lambro, our sea-solicitor, who had
Much less experience of dry land than Ocean,
On seeing his own chimney-smoke, felt glad;
