Short Plays

wish they had been addressed to an unmarried woman! how I wish they had! She Indeed you have no right to wish anything of the sort. They are quite unfit for anybody but a married woman. That’s just the difficulty. What will my sisters-in-law think of them? He Painfully jarred. Have you got sisters-in-law? She Yes, of course I have. Do you suppose I am an angel? He Biting his lips. I do. Heaven help me, I do⁠—or I did⁠—or He almost chokes a sob. She Softening and putting her hand caressingly on his shoulder. Listen to me, dear. It’s very nice of you to live with me in a dream, and to love me, and so on; but I can’t help my husband having disagreeable relatives, can I? He Brightening up. Ah, of course they are your husband’s relatives: I forgot that. Forgive me, Aurora. He takes her hand from his shoulder and kisses it. She sits down on the stool. He remains near the table, with his back to it, smiling fatuously down at her. She The fact is, Teddy’s got nothing but relatives. He has eight sisters and six half-sisters, and ever so many brothers⁠—but I don’t mind his brothers. Now if you only knew the least little thing about the world, Henry, you’d know that in a large family, though the sisters quarrel with one another like mad all the time, yet let one of the brothers marry, and they all turn on their unfortunate sister-in-law and devote the rest of their lives with perfect unanimity to persuading him that his wife is unworthy of him. They can do it to her very face without her knowing it, because there are always a lot of stupid low family jokes that nobody understands but themselves. Half the time you can’t tell what they’re talking about: it just drives you wild. There ought to be a law against a man’s sister ever entering his house after he’s married. I’m as certain as that I’m sitting here that Georgina stole those poems out of my workbox. He She will not understand them, I think. She Oh, won’t she! She’ll understand them only too well. She’ll understand more harm than ever was in them: nasty vulgar-minded cat! He Going to her. Oh don’t, don’t think of people in that way. Don’t think of her at all. He takes her hand and sits down on the carpet at her feet. Aurora: do you remember the evening when I sat here at your feet and read you those poems for the first time? She I shouldn’t have let you: I see that now. When I think of Georgina sitting there at Teddy’s feet and reading them to him for the first time, I feel I shall just go distracted. He Yes, you are right. It will be a profanation. She Oh, I don’t care about the profanation; but what will Teddy think? what will he do? Suddenly throwing his head away from her knee. You don’t seem to think a bit about Teddy. She jumps up, more and more agitated. He Supine on the floor; for she has thrown him off his balance. To me Teddy is nothing, and Georgina less than nothing. She You’ll soon find out how much less than nothing she is. If you think a woman can’t do any harm because she’s only a scandalmongering dowdy ragbag, you’re greatly mistaken. She flounces about the room. He gets up slowly and dusts his hands. Suddenly she runs to him and throws herself into his arms. Henry: help me. Find a way out of this for me; and I’ll bless you as long as you live. Oh, how wretched I am! She sobs on his breast. He And oh! how happy I am! She Whisking herself abruptly away. Don’t be selfish. He Humbly. Yes: I deserve that. I think if I were going to the stake with you, I should still be so happy with you that I could hardly feel your danger more than my own. She Relenting and patting his hand fondly. Oh, you are a dear darling boy, Henry; but throwing his hand away fretfully you’re no use. I want somebody to tell me what to do. He With quiet conviction. Your heart will tell you at the right time. I have thought deeply over this; and I know what we two must do, sooner or later. She No, Henry. I will do nothing improper, nothing dishonorable. She sits down plump on the stool and looks inflexible. He If you did, you would no longer be Aurora. Our course is perfectly simple, perfectly straightforward, perfectly stainless and true. We love one another. I am not ashamed of that: I am ready to go out and proclaim it to all London as simply as I will declare it to your husband when you see⁠—as you soon will see⁠—that this is the only way honorable enough for your feet to tread. Let us go out together to our own house, this evening, without concealment and without shame. Remember! we owe something to your husband. We are his guests here: he is an honorable man: he has been kind to us: he has perhaps loved you as well as his prosaic nature and his sordid commercial environment permitted. We owe it to him in all honor not to let him learn the truth from the lips of a scandalmonger. Let us go to him now quietly, hand in hand; bid him farewell; and walk out of the house without concealment and subterfuge, freely and honestly, in full honor and self-respect. She Staring at him. And where shall we go to? He We shall not depart by a hair’s breadth from the ordinary natural current of our lives. We were going to the theatre when the loss of the poems compelled us to take action at once. We shall go to the theatre still; but we shall leave your diamonds here; for we cannot afford