Heartbreak House

money is to give him some. I explained my idea to some friends in the city, and they found the money; for I take no risks in ideas, even when they’re my own. Your father and the friends that ventured their money with him were no more to me than a heap of squeezed lemons. You’ve been wasting your gratitude: my kind heart is all rot. I’m sick of it. When I see your father beaming at me with his moist, grateful eyes, regularly wallowing in gratitude, I sometimes feel I must tell him the truth or burst. What stops me is that I know he wouldn’t believe me. He’d think it was my modesty, as you did just now. He’d think anything rather than the truth, which is that he’s a blamed fool, and I am a man that knows how to take care of himself. He throws himself back into the big chair with large self-approval. Now what do you think of me, Miss Ellie? Ellie Dropping her hands. How strange! that my mother, who knew nothing at all about business, should have been quite right about you! She always said⁠—not before Papa, of course, but to us children⁠—that you were just that sort of man. Mangan Sitting up, much hurt. Oh! did she? And yet she’d have let you marry me. Ellie Well, you see, Mr. Mangan, my mother married a very good man⁠—for whatever you may think of my father as a man of business, he is the soul of goodness⁠—and she is not at all keen on my doing the same. Mangan Anyhow, you don’t want to marry me now, do you? Ellie Very calmly. Oh, I think so. Why not? Mangan Rising aghast. Why not! Ellie I don’t see why we shouldn’t get on very well together. Mangan Well, but look here, you know⁠—He stops, quite at a loss. Ellie Patiently. Well? Mangan Well, I thought you were rather particular about people’s characters. Ellie If we women were particular about men’s characters, we should never get married at all, Mr. Mangan. Mangan A child like you talking of “we women”! What next! You’re not in earnest? Ellie Yes, I am. Aren’t you? Mangan You mean to hold me to it? Ellie Do you wish to back out of it? Mangan Oh, no. Not exactly back out of it. Ellie Well? He has nothing to say. With a long whispered whistle, he drops into the wicker chair and stares before him like a beggared gambler. But a cunning look soon comes into his face. He leans over towards her on his right elbow, and speaks in a low steady voice. Mangan Suppose I told you I was in love with another woman! Ellie Echoing him. Suppose I told you I was in love with another man! Mangan Bouncing angrily out of his chair. I’m not joking. Ellie Who told you I was? Mangan I tell you I’m serious. You’re too young to be serious; but you’ll have to believe me. I want to be near your friend Mrs. Hushabye. I’m in love with her. Now the murder’s out. Ellie I want to be near your friend Mr. Hushabye. I’m in love with him. She rises and adds with a frank air. Now we are in one another’s confidence, we shall be real friends. Thank you for telling me. Mangan Almost beside himself. Do you think I’ll be made a convenience of like this? Ellie Come, Mr. Mangan! you made a business convenience of my father. Well, a woman’s business is marriage. Why shouldn’t I make a domestic convenience of you? Mangan Because I don’t choose, see? Because I’m not a silly gull like your father. That’s why. Ellie With serene contempt. You are not good enough to clean my father’s boots, Mr. Mangan; and I am paying you a great compliment in condescending to make a convenience of you, as you call it. Of course you are free to throw over our engagement if you like; but, if you do, you’ll never enter Hesione’s house again: I will take care of that. Mangan Gasping. You little devil, you’ve done me. On the point of collapsing into the big chair again he recovers himself. Wait a bit, though: you’re not so cute as you think. You can’t beat Boss Mangan as easy as that. Suppose I go straight to Mrs. Hushabye and tell her that you’re in love with her husband. Ellie She knows it. Mangan You told her!!! Ellie She told me. Mangan Clutching at his bursting temples. Oh, this is a crazy house. Or else I’m going clean off my chump. Is she making a swap with you⁠—she to have your husband and you to have hers? Ellie Well, you don’t want us both, do you? Mangan Throwing himself into the chair distractedly. My brain won’t stand it. My head’s going to split. Help! Help me to hold it. Quick: hold it: squeeze it. Save me. Ellie comes behind his chair; clasps his head hard for a moment; then begins to draw her hands from his forehead back to his ears. Thank you. Drowsily. That’s very refreshing. Waking a little. Don’t you hypnotize me, though. I’ve seen men made fools of by hypnotism. Ellie Steadily. Be quiet. I’ve seen men made fools of without hypnotism. Mangan Humbly. You don’t dislike touching me, I hope. You never touched me before, I noticed. Ellie Not since you fell in love naturally with a grown-up nice woman, who will never expect you to make love to her. And I will never expect him to make love to me. Mangan He may, though. Ellie Making her passes rhythmically. Hush. Go to sleep. Do you hear? You are to go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep; be quiet, deeply deeply quiet; sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. He falls asleep. Ellie steals away; turns the light out; and goes into the garden. Nurse Guinness opens the door and is seen in the light which comes in from the hall. Guinness Speaking to