Measure for Measure

which, I think, is a very ill house too. Escalus How know you that? Elbow My wife, sir, whom I detest before heaven and your honour⁠— Escalus How? thy wife? Elbow Ay, sir; whom, I thank heaven, is an honest woman⁠— Escalus Dost thou detest her therefore? Elbow I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she, that this house, if it be not a bawd’s house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house. Escalus How dost thou know that, constable? Elbow Marry, sir, by my wife; who, if she had been a woman cardinally given, might have been accused in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanliness there. Escalus By the woman’s means? Elbow Ay, sir, by Mistress Overdone’s means: but as she spit in his face, so she defied him. Pompey Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so. Elbow Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable man; prove it. Escalus Do you hear how he misplaces? Pompey Sir, she came in great with child; and longing, saving your honour’s reverence, for stewed prunes; sir, we had but two in the house, which at that very distant time stood, as it were, in a fruit-dish, a dish of some three-pence; your honours have seen such dishes; they are not China dishes, but very good dishes⁠— Escalus Go to, go to: no matter for the dish, sir. Pompey No, indeed, sir, not of a pin; you are therein in the right: but to the point. As I say, this Mistress Elbow, being, as I say, with child, and being great-bellied, and longing, as I said, for prunes; and having but two in the dish, as I said, Master Froth here, this very man, having eaten the rest, as I said, and, as I say, paying for them very honestly; for, as you know, Master Froth, I could not give you three-pence again. Froth No, indeed. Pompey Very well; you being then, if you be remembered, cracking the stones of the foresaid prunes⁠— Froth Ay, so I did indeed. Pompey Why, very well; I telling you then, if you be remembered, that such a one and such a one were past cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept very good diet, as I told you⁠— Froth All this is true. Pompey Why, very well, then⁠— Escalus Come, you are a tedious fool: to the purpose. What was done to Elbow’s wife, that he hath cause to complain of? Come me to what was done to her. Pompey Sir, your honour cannot come to that yet. Escalus No, sir, nor I mean it not. Pompey Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honour’s leave. And, I beseech you, look into Master Froth here, sir; a man of fourscore pound a year; whose father died at Hallowmas: was’t not at Hallowmas, Master Froth? Froth All-hallond eve. Pompey Why, very well; I hope here be truths. He, sir, sitting, as I say, in a lower chair, sir; ’twas in the Bunch of Grapes, where indeed you have a delight to sit, have you not? Froth I have so; because it is an open room and good for winter. Pompey Why, very well, then; I hope here be truths. Angelo

This will last out a night in Russia,
When nights are longest there: I’ll take my leave,
And leave you to the hearing of the cause;
Hoping you’ll find good cause to whip them all.

Escalus

I think no less. Good morrow to your lordship. Exit Angelo.

Now, sir, come on: what was done to Elbow’s wife, once more?

Pompey Once, sir? there was nothing done to her once. Elbow I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did to my wife. Pompey I beseech your honour, ask me. Escalus Well, sir; what did this gentleman to her? Pompey I beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman’s face. Good Master Froth, look upon his honour; ’tis for a good purpose. Doth your honour mark his face? Escalus Ay, sir, very well. Pompey Nay, I beseech you, mark it well. Escalus Well, I do so. Pompey Doth your honour see any harm in his face? Escalus Why, no. Pompey I’ll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him. Good, then; if his face be the worst thing about him, how could Master Froth do the constable’s wife any harm? I would know that of your honour. Escalus He’s in the right. Constable, what say you to it? Elbow First, an it like you, the house is a respected house; next, this is a respected fellow; and his mistress is a respected woman. Pompey By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected person than any of us all. Elbow Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicked varlet! the time is yet to come that she was ever respected with man, woman, or child. Pompey Sir, she was respected with him before he married with her. Escalus Which is the wiser here? Justice or Iniquity? Is this true? Elbow O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked Hannibal! I respected with her before I was married to her! If ever I was respected with her, or she with me, let not your worship think me the poor duke’s officer. Prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or I’ll have mine action of battery on thee. Escalus If he took you a box o’ the ear, you might have your action of slander too. Elbow Marry, I thank your good worship for it. What is’t your worship’s pleasure I shall do with this wicked caitiff? Escalus Truly, officer, because he hath some offences in him that thou wouldst discover if thou couldst, let him continue in his courses till thou knowest what they are. Elbow Marry, I thank your worship for it. Thou seest, thou wicked varlet, now, what’s come upon thee: thou art to continue now, thou varlet; thou art to continue. Escalus Where were you born, friend? Froth Here in Vienna, sir. Escalus Are you of fourscore pounds a year? Froth Yes, an’t please you, sir. Escalus So. What trade are you of, sir? Pompey A tapster; a poor widow’s tapster. Escalus Your mistress’ name? Pompey Mistress Overdone. Escalus Hath she had any more than one husband? Pompey Nine,