Getting Married

epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Bouncing off the chest, and passing behind the General to the other end of the table. No: dash it! I’m not going to stand this. Why is the man always to be put in the wrong? Be honest, Edith. Why weren’t you dressed? Were you going to throw him over? If you were, take your fair share of the blame; and don’t put it all on him. Hotchkiss Sweetly. Would it not be better⁠— Reginald Violently. Now look here, Hotchkiss. Who asked you to cut in? Is your name Edith? Am I your uncle? Hotchkiss I wish you were: I should like to have an uncle, Reginald. Reginald Yah! Sykes: are you ready to marry Edith or are you not? Sykes I’ve already said that I’m quite ready. A promise is a promise. Reginald We don’t want to know whether a promise is a promise or not. Can’t you answer yes or no without spoiling it and setting Hotchkiss here grinning like a Cheshire cat? If she puts on her veil and goes to Church, will you marry her? Sykes Certainly. Yes. Reginald That’s all right. Now, Edie, put on your veil and off with you to the church. The bridegroom’s waiting. He sits down at the table. Edith Is it understood that Slattox and Chinnery are liars and thieves, and that I hope by next Wednesday to have in my hands conclusive evidence that Slattox is something much worse? Sykes I made no conditions as to that when I proposed to you; and now I can’t go back. I hope Providence will spare my poor mother. I say again I’m ready to marry you. Edith Then I think you show great weakness of character; and instead of taking advantage of it I shall set you a better example. I want to know is this true. She produces a pamphlet and takes it to the Bishop; then sits down between Hotchkiss and her mother. The Bishop Reading the title. Do You Know What You Are Going to Do? by a Woman Who Has Done It. May I ask, my dear, what she did? Edith She got married. When she had three children⁠—the eldest only four years old⁠—her husband committed a murder, and then attempted to commit suicide, but only succeeded in disfiguring himself. Instead of hanging him, they sent him to penal servitude for life, for the sake, they said, of his wife and infant children. And she could not get a divorce from that horrible murderer. They would not even keep him imprisoned for life. For twenty years she had to live singly, bringing up her children by her own work, and knowing that just when they were grown up and beginning life, this dreadful creature would be let out to disgrace them all, and prevent the two girls getting decently married, and drive the son out of the country perhaps. Is that really the law? Am I to understand that if Cecil commits a murder, or forges, or steals, or becomes an atheist, I can’t get divorced from him? The Bishop Yes, my dear. That is so. You must take him for better for worse. Edith Then I most certainly refuse to enter into any such wicked contract. What sort of servants? what sort of friends? what sort of Prime Ministers should we have if we took them for better for worse for all their lives? We should simply encourage them in every sort of wickedness. Surely my husband’s conduct is of more importance to me than Mr. Balfour’s or Mr. Asquith’s. If I had known the law I would never have consented. I don’t believe any woman would if she realized what she was doing. Sykes But I’m not going to commit murder. Edith How do you know? I’ve sometimes wanted to murder Slattox. Have you never wanted to murder somebody, Uncle Rejjy? Reginald At Hotchkiss, with intense expression. Yes. Leo Rejjy! Reginald I said yes; and I mean yes. There was one night, Hotchkiss, when I jolly near shot you and Leo and finished up with myself; and that’s the truth. Leo Suddenly whimpering. Oh Rejjy. She runs to him and kisses him. Reginald Wrathfully. Be off. She returns weeping to her seat. Mrs. Bridgenorth Petting Leo, but speaking to the company at large. But isn’t all this great nonsense? What likelihood is there of any of us committing a crime? Hotchkiss Oh yes, I assure you. I went into the matter once very carefully; and I found things I have actually done⁠—things that everybody does, I imagine⁠—would expose me, if I were found out and prosecuted, to ten years’ penal servitude, two years hard labor, and the loss of all civil rights. Not counting that I’m a private trustee, and, like all private trustees, a fraudulent one. Otherwise, the widow for whom I am trustee would starve occasionally, and the children get no education. And I’m probably as honest a man as any here. The General Outraged. Do you imply that I have been guilty of conduct that would expose me to penal servitude? Hotchkiss I should think it quite likely, but of course I don’t know. Mrs. Bridgenorth But bless me! marriage is not a question of law, is it? Have you children no affection for one another? Surely that’s enough? Hotchkiss If it’s enough, why get married? Mrs. Bridgenorth Stuff, Sinjon! Of course people must get married. Uneasily. Alfred: why don’t you say something? Surely you’re not going to let this go on. The General I’ve been waiting for the last twenty minutes, Alfred, in amazement! in stupefaction! to hear you put a stop to all this. We look to you: it’s your place, your office, your duty. Exert your authority at once. The Bishop You must give the devil fair play, Boxer. Until you have heard and weighed his case you have no right to condemn him. I’m sorry you have been kept waiting twenty minutes; but I myself have waited twenty years for this to happen. I’ve often wrestled with the temptation to