Getting Married

pray that it might not happen in my own household. Perhaps it was a presentiment that it might become a part of our old Bridgenorth burden that made me warn our Governments so earnestly that unless the law of marriage were first made human, it could never become divine. Mrs. Bridgenorth Oh, do be sensible about this. People must get married. What would you have said if Cecil’s parents had not been married? The Bishop They were not, my dear. Hotchkiss Hallo! Reginald What d’ye mean? The General Eh? Leo Not married! Mrs. Bridgenorth What? Sykes Rising in amazement. What on earth do you mean, Bishop? My parents were married. Hotchkiss You can’t remember, Cecil. Sykes Well, I never asked my mother to show me her marriage lines, if that’s what you mean. What man ever has? I never suspected⁠—I never knew⁠—Are you joking? Or have we all gone mad? The Bishop Don’t be alarmed, Cecil. Let me explain. Your parents were not Anglicans. You were not, I think, Anglican yourself, until your second year at Oxford. They were Positivists. They went through the Positivist ceremony at Newton Hall in Fetter Lane after entering into the civil contract before the Registrar of the West Strand District. I ask you, as an Anglican Catholic, was that a marriage? Sykes Overwhelmed. Great Heavens, no! a thousand times, no. I never thought of that. I’m a child of sin. He collapses into the railed chair. The Bishop Oh, come, come! You are no more a child of sin than any Jew, or Mohammedan, or Nonconformist, or anyone else born outside the Church. But you see how it affects my view of the situation. To me there is only one marriage that is holy: the Church’s sacrament of marriage. Outside that, I can recognize no distinction between one civil contract and another. There was a time when all marriages were made in Heaven. But because the Church was unwise and would not make its ordinances reasonable, its power over men and women was taken away from it; and marriages gave place to contracts at a registry office. And now that our Governments refuse to make these contracts reasonable, those whom we in our blindness drove out of the Church will be driven out of the registry office; and we shall have the history of Ancient Rome repeated. We shall be joined by our solicitors for seven, fourteen, or twenty-one years⁠—or perhaps months. Deeds of partnership will replace the old vows. The General Would you, a Bishop, approve of such partnerships? The Bishop Do you think that I, a Bishop, approve of the Deceased Wife’s Sister Act? That did not prevent its becoming law. The General But when the Government sounded you as to whether you’d marry a man to his deceased wife’s sister you very naturally and properly told them you’d see them damned first. The Bishop Horrified. No, no, really, Boxer! You must not⁠— The General Impatiently. Oh, of course I don’t mean that you used those words. But that was the meaning and the spirit of it. The Bishop Not the spirit, Boxer, I protest. But never mind that. The point is that State marriage is already divorced from Church marriage. The relations between Leo and Rejjy and Sinjon are perfectly legal; but do you expect me, as a Bishop, to approve of them? The General I don’t defend Reginald. He should have kicked you out of the house, Mr. Hotchkiss. Reginald Rising. How could I kick him out of the house? He’s stronger than me: he could have kicked me out if it came to that. He did kick me out: what else was it but kicking out, to take my wife’s affections from me and establish himself in my place? He comes to the hearth. Hotchkiss I protest, Reginald, I said all that a man could to prevent the smash. Reginald Oh, I know you did: I don’t blame you: people don’t do these things to one another: they happen and they can’t be helped. What was I to do? I was old: she was young. I was dull: he was brilliant. I had a face like a walnut: he had a face like a mushroom. I was as glad to have him in the house as she was: he amused me. And we were a couple of fools: he gave us good advice⁠—told us what to do when we didn’t know. She found out that I wasn’t any use to her and he was; so she nabbed him and gave me the chuck. Leo If you don’t stop talking in that disgraceful way about our married life, I’ll leave the room and never speak to you again. Reginald You’re not going to speak to me again, anyhow, are you? Do you suppose I’m going to visit you when you marry him? Hotchkiss I hope so. Surely you’re not going to be vindictive, Rejjy. Besides, you’ll have all the advantages I formerly enjoyed. You’ll be the visitor, the relief, the new face, the fresh news, the hopeless attachment: I shall only be the husband. Reginald Savagely. Will you tell me this, any of you? how is it that we always get talking about Hotchkiss when our business is about Edith? He fumes up the kitchen to the tower and back to his chair. Mrs. Bridgenorth Will somebody tell me how the world is to go on if nobody is to get married? Sykes Will somebody tell me what an honorable man and a sincere Anglican is to propose to a woman whom he loves and who loves him and won’t marry him? Leo Will somebody tell me how I’m to arrange to take care of Rejjy when I’m married to Sinjon. Rejjy must not be allowed to marry anyone else, especially that odious nasty creature that told all those wicked lies about him in Court. Hotchkiss Let us draw up the first English partnership deed. Leo For shame, Sinjon! The Bishop Somebody must begin, my dear. I’ve a very strong suspicion that when it is drawn up it will